Discover a wealth of wisdom and insight from Seanan Mcguire through their most impactful and thought-provoking quotes and sayings. Expand your perspective with their inspiring words and share these beautiful Seanan Mcguire quote pictures with your friends and followers on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blog - all free of charge. We've compiled the top 575 Seanan Mcguire quotes for you to explore and share with others.

He was wearing brown leather trousers, a darker brown leather vest, and a silk shirt that matched my dress. The sleeves were almost piratical in style, and the collar was unlaced. His boots were the same shade as his vest, a few shades lighter than his hair."Uh," I said again, before managing. "Weren't you wearing that the last time you came to Court?""She always dresses me in some variation of this attire," said Tybalt. "I can't tell whether she likes the look of it, or whether she's trying to make a point. This would have been a stagehand's garb, once upon a time, and nothing suited for a King.""Uh," I said for a third time.Seeing my distress, Tybalt smirked, leaned in, and murmured in my ear, "I have a disturbing assortment of leather trousers, thanks to her. I'd be happy to show you, if you like. By Seanan Mcguire Brown Leather Vest Dress Tybalt

It was May's idea," Quentin added."I'm sure it was," I said. Sylvester started circling. I dropped into a defensive position. "I'm not really comfortable with this, May.""Cope," she said."Maybe an audience will make you shape up," Sylvester said, and lunged.I parried. "Maybe an audience will distract me and get me gutted.""Let's see some carnage!" hollered May, pumping her fist in the air."This isn't professional wrestling!" I snapped, trying to hit Sylvester's ankle. He blocked, turning my thrust aside and nearly disarming me. "And I swear if you shout 'take it off,' I am coming over there.""Take what off?" asked Sylvester."Nothing, Your Grace," Quentin and I said in unison. By Seanan Mcguire Sylvester Quentin Idea Added Audience

In the interests of friendship, I hope you'll forgive me what I'm about to do.""Forgive you wha - "My sentence was cut off as he clamped his mouth over mine, kissing me deeply...."Ready to make a scene?"He raised an eyebrow. "Do I have a choice?""Not really. To quote something someone said to me recently, in the interests of friendship, I hope you'll forgive what I'm about to do." I drew back my hand and slapped him across the face. The smack of flesh striking flesh echoed through the hall. Conversations stopped as people whipped around to stare at us. Raising my voice to something just below a shout, I snarled, "You asshole! By Seanan Mcguire Ready Forgive Friendship Interests Hope

Toby, if I say challenging him is futile, that you'll change nothing and only grant the omen you saw this morning power over you ... if I say you can save your life and your heart by walking away from this, will it matter?" Part of memost of mewanted to say, "Yes, it would matter; please tell me to stay here. If you tell me, I'll stay." I didn't want to go. I'm not a hero; I never have been. I just do what has to be done. But when you get right down to it, isn't that the definition of hero? By Seanan Mcguire Toby Futile Matter Challenging Change

But you're so easy to sneak up on." He crossed his arms, leaning back against the wall. "You should be honored that I bother, since there's no challenge to it.""Right," I said dryly.Tybalt has never made a secret of his contempt for changelings in general and me in particular. Not even the years I spent missing could change that. If anything, it made things worse, because when I came back, I promptly removed myself from all the places he was accustomed to finding me. Hating me suddenly took effort - an effort he's proved annoying glad to make. On the other hand, it's actually been something of a relief, because it is something I can count on. Dawn comes, the moon rises and Tybalt hates me. By Seanan Mcguire Easy Sneak Back Made Effort

In the end there's never a sanctuary. You run until there's nowhere left to run to, and then you fight, and then you die, and then it's over. That's how the world works, and if there's any way to change that, I hope someone's eventually planning to let me know. By Seanan Mcguire Sanctuary End Run Fight Die

You can't save everyone and leave yourself lost, October. It isn't fair. Not to you and not to the people who care about you.""I'm not lost Tybalt," I said. It was oddly hard to meet his eyes now that they registered as human. His irises were supposed to be malachite green, not muddy hazel, and his pupils were supposed to be oval, not round. "I know exactly where I am."A smile crossed his face. "If I believed that, I would walk away and never darken your door again. I can forgive you your foolishness only because I know how lost you are. But one day, you'll have to come back home. When you do, I hope you'll find me waiting. By Seanan Mcguire October Lost Save Leave Supposed

Repetition is sometimes the best way to deal with the Luideag: just keep saying the same thing over and over until she gets fed up and gives you what you want. All preschoolers have an instinctive grasp of this concept, but most don't practice it on immortal water demons. That's probably why there are so few disembowelments in your average preschool. By Seanan Mcguire Luideag Repetition Deal Thing Fed

Parents don't always like to admit that things have changed. They want the world to be exactly the way it was before their children went away on these life-changing adventures, and when the world doesn't oblige, they try to force it into the boxes they build for us. By Seanan Mcguire Parents Changed Admit Things World

People aren't so good at being good to one another. We try hard enough, but something essential was left out in the making of us, some hard little patch of stone in the fertile soil that's supposed to be our hearts. We get hung up on the bad, and we focus on it until it grows, and the whole crop is lost. I By Seanan Mcguire Good People Hard Hearts Essential

Some things we have to hide from science, waiting for the day when people will be ready to deal with the idea of talking mice or fish with fur. Other things science hides from itself, because no one really wants the night to be dark and filled with monsters. That era has passed. By Seanan Mcguire Waiting Fur Things Science Day

Wisconsin doesn't look kindly on the weeks that slip in between the death of cold and the birth of warmth; Persephone may have left her husband, but she isn't home yet, and this is one state that'll be damned before it lets anyone forget it. By Seanan Mcguire Persephone Wisconsin Warmth Husband Kindly

The humans aren't stupid, no matter what the purebloods say; they're just blind, and sometimes, that's worse. They put their fear in stories and songs, where they won't forget it. "Up the airy mountains and down the rushy glen, I dare not go a-hunting for fear of little men." We've given them plenty of reasons to fear us. Even if they've almost forgotten - even if they only remember that we were beautiful and not why they were afraid - the fear was there before anything else. There were reasons for the burning times; there's a reason the fairy tales survive. And there's a reason the human world doesn't want to see the old days come again. By Seanan Mcguire Fear Stupid Blind Worse Matter

You bring a traitor here, unbound? Is this a joke? Or have you elected to join her in her treasons?" "Um, hello?" I raised a hand. "Not a traitor, and the Queen told us where to find you. Or do you think that we're such major badasses that we fought our way through the knowne to come and loiter at you in an imposing fashion? Because I got to say I'm flattered. By Seanan Mcguire Unbound Bring Traitor Joke Queen

Then I stay beside you for as long as we have." He kept stroking my hair. Cats like to be petted. Cait Sidhe like to pet. "October, I meant it when I told you I was not leaving you. I will never leave you while both of us are living. You were not quite this human when I met you, and you were far less human when I finally allowed myself to love you. But the essential core of your being has remained the same no matter what the balance of your blood.""How is it that you always know the exact right stupid romance novel thing to say?" I asked, leaning up to kiss him.He smiled against my lips. When I pulled back, he said. "I was a student of Shakespeare before the romance novel was even dreamt. Be glad I do not leave you horrible poetry on your pillow, wrapped securely around the bodies of dead rats. By Seanan Mcguire Stay Long Human Leave Romance

He was still so very young. Faeries - true faeries, not their changeling throwaways - live forever, and when you have an eternity of adulthood ahead of you, you linger over childhood. You tend it and keep it close to your heart, because once it ends, it's over. Quentin was barely fifteen. He'd never seen the Great Hunt that came down every twenty-one years, or been present for the crowning of a King or Queen of Cats, or announced his maturity before the throne of High King Aethlin. He was a child, and he should have had decades left to play; a century of games and joy and edging cautiously toward adulthood.But he didn't. I could see his childhood dying in his eyes as he looked at me, silently begging me to answer for him. By Seanan Mcguire Young Faeries King Childhood Cats

There's never been any love lost between us, and there probably never will be, but you keep your word and I know that if you say you'll do this for me, you'll do it. Your honor might survive betraying a friend because the friend would forgive you. I wouldn't. By Seanan Mcguire Love Lost Word Friend Honor

I watch him go, and wonder if being good isn't its own punishment as much as it's supposed to be its own reward. By Seanan Mcguire Reward Watch Good Punishment Supposed

I'm going to kill you." "You look fine." "I'm quite serious. I'm going to murder you. I'm going to murder you to death. And then, after I've finished doing that, I'm going to kill you again, just to be sure you got the point." "Shelby, honestly, you look fine. By Seanan Mcguire Fine Kill Murder Shelby Honestly

Blood is thicker than water, but family isn't just about blood. Family is about faith, and loyalty, and who you love. If you don't have those things, I don't care what the blood says. You're not family. By Seanan Mcguire Family Water Blood Thicker Faith

The Luidaeg sighed and put her arms around me, pulling me close. "Come here," she said. "I need to hold someone, and you need to be held. It's a fair trade. Just for a little while, and then we can go on being what we are." I thought about objecting, but dismissed the idea and nestled against her, enjoying the feeling of security given by knowing someone bigger and stronger than I was would stop anything from hurting me. That's all childhood is, after all: strong arms to hold back the dark, a story to keep the shadows dancing, and a candle to mark the long journey into day. A song to keep the flights of angels at bay. How many miles to Babylon? Sorry. I don't care. By Seanan Mcguire Luidaeg Pulling Close Sighed Put

What happened?" she breathed, staring at me."I got hit in the face with a pie," I said.Mags stopped, blinking. "You got ... hit in the face with a pie," she repeated. "I ... what? I'm sorry, but I've been in charge of this Library for a long time. I've seen a lot of really ridiculous things. I lived in Wales. And there is no way being hit with a pie should have turned you human.""It was a really evil pie," I said. By Seanan Mcguire Pie Blinking Hit Face Happened

I'm always depressed when a book ends, because those are my friends for however long the book takes to write. Since I spend so many hours with these fictional people, I sometimes see them more than my real friends. And then they're gone, and we'll never be together like that again. By Seanan Mcguire Book Ends Write Friends Depressed

Is there any time in your life when you do not feel the need for caffeine?""Sure. Sometimes I'm asleep. By Seanan Mcguire Caffeine Time Life Feel Asleep

Kids. "We'll be in the break room if you need us," said Sloane, with uncharacteristic gentleness. Still holding my brother up, she turned and led him away, first out of the bullpen and finally out of view. I stayed frozen where I was, feeling colder than any time since I had eaten the apple, and wondered what the hell we were going to do next. Demi, of all people, broke By Seanan Mcguire Kids Sloane Gentleness Demi Broke

There weren't any fairy tales in the streets around me. If there was ever aCinderella, her glass slippers shattered under her weight and she limped home bleeding from the ball. By Seanan Mcguire Fairy Tales Streets Acinderella Ball

I told them you almost certainly were not a serial killer, and that they were being horribly sexist by assuming that of the two of us, only you were capable of committing murder. That may have been a tactical error - it got me rather a lot more questioning that I hadn't exactly been planning on." "Well, yes. It's usually unwise to tell the police you could be a serial killer if you really, really wanted to. By Seanan Mcguire Murder Serial Told Horribly Sexist

Good question," I said, more slowly. "When does she get in?" "What?" Alex blinked. "Your sister?" I said. He was a lot less attractive when he looked that confused. "When does she come on shift? By Seanan Mcguire Good Question Slowly Alex Blinked

What is wrong? Is this related to the notice I received from Queen Windermere that a war was being beta-tested, and might be cleared for release? I do not have time to allow my coders to be slaughtered. It seems very inefficient. By Seanan Mcguire Wrong Queen Windermere Betatested Release

It's time that we finally admitted that we can see the love that's everywhere, filial and romantic and platonic and shared by all different types of people, in all different combinations. This is the future. All we have to do is open our eyes, and see. By Seanan Mcguire Filial People Combinations Time Finally

Okay, wow. Way to slide in a 'safe driving' PSA when I'm about to risk my life doing stupid shit. By Seanan Mcguire Wow Psa Safe Driving Shit

I wouldn't," said the Luidaeg. "Love is love. It's rarer in Faerie than it used to be - rarer than it should be, if you ask me. If you can find it, you should cling to it, and never let anything interfere. Besides, he has a nice ass." Her lips quirked in a weirdly mischievous smile. "I mean, damn. Some people shouldn't be allowed to wear leather pants. He's one of them. He's a clear and present danger when he puts those things on. Or takes them off. By Seanan Mcguire Luidaeg Love Rarer Faerie Damn

The first thing that matters: I am a child of the eighties. I grew up in a neon wonderland of talking horses, compassionate bears, hair that didn't move in a stiff wind, and the constant threat of nuclear war. By Seanan Mcguire Matters Eighties Thing Child Horses

The part of me that actually cares about being a decent person promptly punched my inner researcher in the jaw and stuffed her in a closet at the back of my head, to be retrieved later. By Seanan Mcguire Head Part Cares Decent Person

We're not out of the woods yet, people," I said, and grimaced, my eyes cheating toward the trees growing on all sides. "No pun intended. Sloane, were you being serious when you said that most of that was Demi's blood? Because I'm not quite ready to condone beating her to death." "She got a nosebleed," said Sloane, reaching forward and taking my hand in hers. Her fingers left red stains on my skin. "Sure, I had to punch her four or five times to make that happen, but nosebleeds are a normal part of being a traitorous bitch who goes over to the dark side at the first sign of trouble. By Seanan Mcguire People Grimaced Sloane Woods Eyes

His sophomore Creative Writing class was as silent as a room full of teenagers could be, only whispering and shuffling a little as they tried to complete their papers. This wasn't one of the "easy A" electives, and he usually got the kids who were serious about the idea of being better writers. Half of them just wanted to get better so they could improve their Pacific Rim hurt/comfort fanfic, but there was nothing wrong with that. Besides, one of them had let slip that a good portion of the class was posting on Archive of Our Own, and he'd spent a few nights with a beer in his hand, learning more about his students. He hadn't read the NC-17 pieces - there were professional limits - and yet he felt he respected them more as writers because he'd seen what they were capable of when they weren't being graded. By Seanan Mcguire Creative Writing Papers Sophomore Silent

Because the air had smelled so sweet, and the sky had been black velvet, spangled with points of diamond light that didn't flicker at all, only burned constant and cold. Because the grass had been wet with dew, and the trees had been heavy with fruit. Because she had wanted to know what was at the end of the long path between the trees, and because she hadn't wanted to turn back before she understood everything. Because for the first time in forever, she'd felt like she was going home, and that feeling had been enough to move her feet, slowly at first, and then faster, and faster, until she had been running through the clean night air, and nothing else mattered, or would ever matter again. By Seanan Mcguire Sweet Velvet Spangled Cold Smelled

The trouble with wanting to do the right thing is that frequently the right thing today is the wrong thing for tomorrow, or the wrong thing for the people who are standing between you and your perfect, platonic future. By Seanan Mcguire Thing Wrong Tomorrow Perfect Platonic

Everything was going to be perfect. By Seanan Mcguire Perfect

The Luidaeg is the daughter of Oberon and Maeve, which technically makes her my aunt. Maybe that's why she hasn't killed me yet, although it's just as likely to be the fact that I amuse her. May says we're reenacting the Princess Bride, one "I'll most likely kill you in the morning" at a time. By Seanan Mcguire Maeve Luidaeg Oberon Aunt Daughter

There was a moment of silence before Istas said, "I was unaware the telepathic girl possessed a temper. This is pleasing. Temperamental people are more likely to participate in carnage." "Sweetie, what have we talked about?" asked Ryan. Now it was Istas' turn to sigh. "Humans are discomforted by excessive discussion of their squishy interiors." "Which means . . . ?" "No referencing carnage more than once in a single conversation. By Seanan Mcguire Istas Temper Moment Silence Unaware

As presumptive heir to one of the largest Duchies in the Kingdom of the Mists, she could have easily grown up more spoiled than any human princess. Instead she grew into the sort of little girl who's always up a tree or down a hole, a magnet for mud, queen of worms and frogs and crawling things. By Seanan Mcguire Mists Duchies Kingdom Princess Presumptive

I lowered my phone, hope and anger warring for control of my emotions. As always, it was easier to let anger win. I turned back to Sylvester. "You threw him out?" I asked, in a low dangerous tone. "I was asleep for almost eleven hours, and you threw him out?""October, I told you we had asked him -""No. 'We asked him to leave so you can rest' only works if I was asleep for four hours, or six, or maybe eight, although me sleeping for eight hours when I'm not injured or drugged is such a perishingly rare event that he should have been sitting next to the bed with a bowl of popcorn. Do you understand me? I was poisoned. This stuff is poison to changelings, and the man I love wanted to be with me, and you sent him away. You kept him away from me for eleven hours, and you didn't tell him what was going on. I know you meant well. But can either of you tell me how in the hell you could believe that was right? By Seanan Mcguire Hours Anger Asked Phone Hope

Growing up in my family meant ambushes on your birthday, crossbows for Christmas, and games of dodge ball where the balls were occasionally rigged to explode. It also meant learning how to work your way out of a wide variety of death traps. Failure to get loose on your own could lead to missing dinner, or worse, being forced to admit that you missed dinner because your baby sister had tied you to the couch. Again. By Seanan Mcguire Christmas Growing Birthday Crossbows Explode

I know because your mice have been sending Facebook messages to my mice. They really like the caps lock key. Someone should teach them about proper email etiquette. By Seanan Mcguire Facebook Mice Sending Messages Key

Since Dominic's been sleeping with me, the mice have been trying various labels on him, looking for one that fits. My personal favorite was the week they spent calling him the God of Absolutely Never Smiling, No, Not Ever. By Seanan Mcguire Dominic Fits Sleeping Mice Labels

May's style was best described as Jem and the Holograms meets Rainbow Brite. By Seanan Mcguire Brite Jem Holograms Rainbow Style

A mother is always proud of her children. Sometimes she doesn't understand what the hell it is they're doing, but that's also part of motherhood. If you always understand your kids, they're probably not telling you everything. By Seanan Mcguire Children Mother Proud Understand Motherhood

Don't be. I went off to play the hero myself, once. I'd do it again, if I had to." His smile turned wistful. "I'd do it all again, and I'd do it differently. When certain people wanted to walk away, well ... it would be different. But we can't change the past, and now I get to watch you ride away. I saw you born. I watched you grow from a confused little girl into one of my finest knights. I shouldn't have to see you die. By Seanan Mcguire Play Hero Wistful Differently Smile

I don't do that. With anyone." "You're celibate?" "No. Celibacy is a choice. I'm asexual. I don't get those feelings. By Seanan Mcguire Celibacy Celibate Choice Asexual Feelings

Asexual" and "aromantic" were different things. She liked holding hands and trading kisses. She'd had several boyfriends in elementary school, just like most of the other girls, and she had always found those practice relationships completely satisfying. It wasn't until puberty had come along and changed the rules that she'd started pulling away in confusion and disinterest. By Seanan Mcguire Asexual Aromantic Things Kisses Holding

This was always the difficult part, back when she'd been at her old school: explaining that "asexual" and "aromantic" were different things. By Seanan Mcguire Asexual Aromantic Part Back School

By the time 'Buffy' finished its Bay Area theatrical run - including a two-month stint at the dollar theater - I had seen the movie well over three dozen times. I was in love. By Seanan Mcguire Buffy Bay Area Time Times

If 'Buffy' the movie was the true love of my childhood, 'Buffy' the series quickly became the true love of my teenage years. It was everything I'd ever wanted in a show and more. 'Buffy' quickly became an obsession, and, shortly thereafter, became my gateway into an incredible, insane, indescribably wonderful new world: shared media fandom. By Seanan Mcguire Buffy True Love Childhood Years

I squared my shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that I was standing in the apartment of the sea witch, wearing a fairy-tale prom gown, waiting for the attack of the mermaids. By Seanan Mcguire Shoulders Witch Wearing Gown Waiting

'Feed' is about zombies and politics and blogging. It's about how George Romero actually saved the world! It's 'Night Of The Living Dead' meets 'The West Wing.' By Seanan Mcguire Feed Blogging Zombies Politics George

I just don't think it's a good idea for you to visit right now. Maybe you can come back later? I'll bake you some cookies . . ." Okay, that was it. I hadn't had a chance to use the kitchen for anything more elaborate than coffee and fried eggs, and I'd be damned if some invading monster was going to beat me to it. I stepped into the living room, bat still held in front of me like a poor man's broadsword. "You are not using my kitchen. By Seanan Mcguire Good Idea Visit Kitchen Back

It used to be all black, like my mother's. When I danced with the Lord of the Dead for the first time, he said it was beautiful, and he ran his fingers though it. All the hair turned white around them, out of jealousy. That's why I only have five black streaks left. Those are the parts he touched. By Seanan Mcguire Mother Black Lord Dead Time

'Seanan McGuire' is my real name; if I'm being silly and third-person about it, she's a frequently cranky, foul-mouthed Disney Princess on vacation in the real world, where she studies diseases, cuddles reptiles, watches lots of horror movies, and goes to as many corn fields as possible. By Seanan Mcguire Seanan Disney Princess Mcguire Cranky

Just because I wouldn't go back if you paid me, that doesn't mean I want to forget a second of what happened to me. I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't gone to Prism. By Seanan Mcguire Back Paid Forget Happened Prism

Luna had told us not to drop the rose, not to leave the path. But we never dropped the rose - it was on me the whole time - and we didn't leave the path, not really. We just took a shortcut through the shadows and the brush, something idiots have been doing in fairy tales since the beginning of time. By Seanan Mcguire Rose Path Leave Luna Time

Because hope is a knife that can cut through the foundations of the world, said Sumi. Her voice was suddenly crystalline and clear, with none of her prior whimsy. She looked at Nancy with calm, steady eyes. Hope hurts. That's what you need to learn, and fast, if you don't want it to cut you open from the inside out. Hope is bad. Hope means you keep on holding to things that won't ever be so again, and so you bleed an inch at a time until there's nothing left. Ely-Eleanor is always saying 'don't use this word' and 'don't use that word,' but she never bans the ones that really bad. She never bans hope. By Seanan Mcguire Sumi Hope World Knife Foundations

The moon is the friendliest of the celestial bodies, after all, glowing warm and white and welcoming, like a friend who wants only to know that all of us are safe in our narrow worlds, our narrow yards, our narrow, well-considered lives. The moon worries. We may not know how we know that, but we know it all the same: that the moon watches, and the moon worries, and the moon will always love us, no matter what. By Seanan Mcguire Narrow Moon Worries Bodies Glowing

Remember that most people, human or cryptid, don't like what they don't understand. They're not wired for that kind of compassion. Feel sorry for them, unless they form an angry mob and march on your house. When that happens, release the hounds. - Evelyn Baker By Seanan Mcguire Remember People Human Cryptid Understand

It's customary for the field team to take a break after a confirmed memetic incursion into baseline reality - in layman's terms, we're supposed to get some time off after we stop a fairy tale from rewriting a major metropolitan area into an evil, R-rated version of Disney World. New and improved! Now with extra incest and murder! By Seanan Mcguire Rrated World Disney Reality Terms

Older than I look, younger than I ought to be. My skin is a riddle not to be solved, and even letting go of everything I love won't offer me the answer. My window is closing, if that's what you're asking. Every day I wake up a little more linear, a little less lost, and one day I'll be one of the women who says 'I had the most charming dream,' and I'll mean it. Old enough to know what I'm losing in the process of being found. By Seanan Mcguire Older Younger Day Solved Answer

yeah, my dad was human. He was a good man, and I'm proud to be his daughter. My mother, on the other hand, was Firstborn. So unless you call the First of your race Mommy or Daddy, I think my breeding is better than yours." Verona By Seanan Mcguire Yeah Human Dad Firstborn Daddy

I eventually grew into a pre-teen Marilyn Munster, that being the only option I could find that allowed for a) blonde hair, b) a fondness for frilly pink things and wearing ribbons in your hair, and c) hanging out with monsters. By Seanan Mcguire Hair Munster Marilyn Blonde Hanging

One, a shy girl with brown braids and thick glasses, had confessed that her world was at a nexus between two minor compass directions, being High Rhyme and High Linearity. Nancy hadn't known what to say to that, and so she hadn't said anything at all. Increasingly, that felt like the safest option she had. By Seanan Mcguire High Linearity Rhyme Glasses Directions

This was the sort of situation that called for a certain amount of terror. By Seanan Mcguire Terror Sort Situation Called Amount

You are truly endearing when you sleep. I attribute this to the exotic nature of seeing you in a state of silence. - Tybalt By Seanan Mcguire Sleep Endearing Tybalt Silence Attribute

Answers are bitter things, and once you get them, they're yours and you can't give them back. Did I want to know badly enough that I was willing to live with whatever answer she gave me? Toby By Seanan Mcguire Things Back Bitter Give Toby

Death doesn't bother me but murder makes me edgy, and my lack of weaponry suddenly felt like a potentially fatal mistake. If we got back to the hotel alive, I wasn't coming back here again without my knife and the baseball bat. And maybe a tank, if I could find one fast enough. By Seanan Mcguire Death Edgy Mistake Bother Murder

There's always time for tea. By Seanan Mcguire Tea Time

When Rome burned, the emperor's cats still expected to be fed on time. By Seanan Mcguire Rome Burned Time Emperor Cats

If you wish to find your answers, you'll need to begin thinking, not merely reacting. Lily By Seanan Mcguire Answers Thinking Reacting Lily Find

I'm not sorry," said Quentin. "One of them tried to take my throat away from me. With its teeth. I'm not you. I need my throat. By Seanan Mcguire Quentin Throat Teeth

There's always time for tea. Lily By Seanan Mcguire Lily Tea Time

Sometimes, when it seems like the pain is never going to end, I wish I'd gotten a different suite of magical talents from my mother. Like the power to avoid situations that end with me willingly jamming my arm into a door made entirely from animate, apparently angry rose briars. By Seanan Mcguire Mother End Pain Suite Magical

But sometimes the pieces fall together the way they want to, and you can't change the story; all you can do is try to ride it out. By Seanan Mcguire Story Pieces Fall Change Ride

My name is October Christine Daye; I live in a city by the sea where the fog paints the early morning, parking is more precious than gold, and Kelpies wait for the unwary on street corners. Neither of the worlds I live in is quite mine, but no one can take them away from me. I did what had to be done, and I think I may finally be starting to understand what's important. It's all about finding the way home, wherever that is. I plan on finding out.I have time. By Seanan Mcguire Daye October Christine Kelpies Live

I didn't even feel my face hitting the pond. Everything was darkness, glorious darkness and the final, perfect absence of pain. It was done, all of it, the running and the fighting, and the pain. After everything that I'd gone through, it was finally over, and this time, the water would carry me home. By Seanan Mcguire Pond Pain Feel Face Hitting

Whatever it was, it was the size of a cow, and looked like what you'd get if you somehow managed to cross a beaver and a crocodile, looked at the results, and decided what your new monster really needed was a bunch of extra teeth. By Seanan Mcguire Looked Cow Crocodile Results Teeth

Everything has a cost, October; remember that. It may be a long time before the bill comes due, but everything has a cost. Luidaeg By Seanan Mcguire October Cost Remember Luidaeg Due

The night-haunts never lie. They could, if they wanted to, but they don't really see the point. The truth is so much more dangerous than a lie. By Seanan Mcguire Lie Nighthaunts Point Wanted Truth

I visit her grave as often as I can. I leave bouquets of rosemary and rue, and I tell her that I'm sorry, and I promise her that next time I'll do better. Next time someone makes me a hero, I'll save them. By Seanan Mcguire Visit Grave Time Rue Leave

I was getting tired of being in an endless succession of things called "the fight of a lifetime." Just once, I'd like to have the fight of a Tuesday afternoon. By Seanan Mcguire Fight Called Lifetime Tired Endless

I might get arrested, but I wasn't likely to get dissected. This is my life. By Seanan Mcguire Arrested Dissected Life

Shut up and eat your donuts," I said, and turned to Demi, who was looking at me with a blankly questioning expression. "Sloane is full of shit. She's not allergic to the word 'please,' which is good for her, since if she were, we would all stand in a circle around her making polite requests until she went into anaphylactic shock. She just enjoys being horrible to the rest of us, and we let her, because we honestly can't think of a way to make her stop. By Seanan Mcguire Demi Shut Donuts Expression Eat

The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of the night. By Seanan Mcguire Argentine Tango Children Play Nicely

But that's what family is, isn't it? It's traditions and trinkets that only matter when we hold them up against the mirrors of our lives, lending them meaning, lending them weight, until they become heavy enough to endure without us. We create the past in the things that we choose to remember about it. We turn everything into stories, and those stories matter because we say that they do. It's all a wheel, and ours are the hands that turn it. By Seanan Mcguire Lending Family Matter Turn Stories

That's the thing people forget when they start talking about things in terms of good and evil. For us, the places we went were home. We didn't care if they were good or evil or neutral or what. We cared about the fact that for the first time, we didn't have to pretend to be something we weren't. We just got to be. By Seanan Mcguire Thing Things People Forget Start

The van doors were closed and - as I learned to my dismay when I tried to wrench them open - locked. I slapped my pocket and swore. "Sloane, I don't have my keys!" I shouted. "Do you?" "Like you people let me drive? Fuck, no, I don't have keys to the van." She bent, picking up a large rock from the curb. "On the other hand, I don't really need them, do I?" "Sloane - " My protest died when I heard Jeff scream inside the van. It was a shrill, agonized sound, and it hurt my heart in ways I hadn't known were possible. "Throw the fucking rock, Sloane!" The words had barely left my lips before Sloane's rock was smashing through the driver's side window By Seanan Mcguire Sloane Locked Van Open Doors

In Tybalt's case, it means bloody control of the local Court of Cats. He became their king by right of blood; he's held the position by beating the crap out of anyone who tries to take it away. The Cait Sidhe take a more direct and bloody approach to succession than most of Faerie. By Seanan Mcguire Cats Tybalt Court Case Control

I was blessed with suck in the form of the traditional Snow White coloring: skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as coal. In the cartoons and the storybooks, they make it look almost cute. Of course, when artists and animators design a Snow White, they essentially give their incarnation of my story a spray tan and some neutral lip liner. A true seven-oh-nine was nowhere near as marketable as those animated darlings. We're too pale, and our lips are too red, and we look like something out of a horror movie that didn't have the decency to stay on the screen. By Seanan Mcguire Snow White Coloring Skin Blood

most people have better things to do than bother Sylvester, who has a history of permanent solutions to temporary annoyances. By Seanan Mcguire Sylvester Annoyances People Things Bother

I like profanity - it's practically my mother tongue - but I try to use words that insult without demeaning, when I can. By Seanan Mcguire Profanity Tongue Demeaning Practically Mother

Thirty minutes out, people," I said. "Where the fuck does she live, Jupiter?" asked Sloane. "Close," I said. "She's in a housing development out near the edge of the wildlife preserve. I guess she likes being close to nature." "Or she's cuckoo-bats," said Sloane. "That's a horrible commute. I'd be road-raging weekly." "That's why we don't let you drive," said Andy. "Henry, you going to light it up?" "No," I said. "No lights, no sirens. We do this quiet." "Because we're so subtle," said Sloane. By Seanan Mcguire Sloane People Thirty Jupiter Minutes

You'd challenge me and lose. You know it, I know it, but you'd still do it. Sometimes your sense of honor confuses the hell out of me. By Seanan Mcguire Lose Challenge Sense Honor Confuses

It took almost fifteen minutes to explain the situation. By the time I finished, my throat was dry and Demi's eyes were so wide that it seemed like they might fall out of her head. I glanced at Jeff, afraid of finding judgment or disapproval in his eyes. Not because it would change the way I felt about my brother, but because I liked Jeff, and it would be a shame to have to find a place to hide his body. By Seanan Mcguire Jeff Situation Fifteen Minutes Explain

How did you find me anyway.""For all that I must keep reminding you that I am not a bloodhound, it's true that on occasion, having a sensitive nose is a useful thing. I followed the smell of you." Tybalt sighed, looking exaggeratedly put-upon. "If you must be ferried back to your people, I suppose I can oblige. But only because you asked me so very nicely, and promised me a kiss. By Seanan Mcguire Anyway Bloodhound Occasion Thing Find

You think cold pizza is a breakfast food," I said. "Only if you put Captain Crunch on it," she replied. There was a moment of silence as all of us considered this. By Seanan Mcguire Food Cold Pizza Breakfast Captain

You know, just once, I'd like my life to be all about spending Sunday afternoon in my pajamas, By Seanan Mcguire Sunday Pajamas Life Spending Afternoon

Thank God it's not, or your father would never have been conceived." "Ew! Grandma, ew! Don't say things like that! How can you say things like that with your face? Your actual grandma face? You're supposed to be all innocent and baking cookies and forgetting that sex was ever a part of your life. By Seanan Mcguire God Conceived Father Things Face

Call me a sucker for a man who had a great ass who knows how to bake a macaroni casserole and can tolerate six hours of Sesame Street a day. By Seanan Mcguire Sesame Street Call Day Sucker

Let's go get ready to do something incredibly stupid.""Business as usual, then," he said, and fled the kitchen, laughing, before I could swat him. By Seanan Mcguire Laughing Business Stupid Usual Kitchen

Adversity doesn't exist to make us stronger. Adversity exists because this world is a damn hard place to live. Prove that you're better than the things it throws at you. Live. By Seanan Mcguire Adversity Stronger Live Make Exist

Hello?" I peered into the shadows.Two green circles flashed in the dark. I yelped, jumping backward and pressing myself against the wall."And may I wish a very good morning to you, too, October." The voice was amused, underscored by a chuckle like thick cream. "What happened? Did the prettiest little princess miss her carriage home? By Seanan Mcguire October Dark Peered Shadowstwo Green

You nearly froze to death out there, you haven't been fed since the fall of Rome, and I'm evil. By Seanan Mcguire Rome Evil Froze Death Fed

A crow. My eyes widened, and I ran to the door, calling, "Jeff! Bring me a crow!" Jeff's head appeared around the edge of the kitchen doorframe. "I beg your pardon?" "We need a crow in Dr. Reynard's office. Get me a crow." "You're not serious." I glared at him. "You are serious. Be right there." Jeff withdrew. I did the same. Sloane was still pacing. She glanced my way and asked, "You have an idea, or do you just want to see Jeff get his eyes pecked out? I'm good with either one, I'd just like to know. By Seanan Mcguire Crow Jeff Eyes Calling Reynard

(Grandma Alice always said being in the field should be treated like going to war: eat when you can, sleep when you can, never put your gun down, and never get drunker than the people around you. Grandma Alice was more than a little bit paranoid. Sadly for me, she was also more than a little bit right.) By Seanan Mcguire Grandma Alice War Eat Sleep

your entire life has been a succession of things you were not equipped for, and while you may have, as you so charmingly say, 'screwed some of them up,' you have, in the main, come through spectacularly well. You are surrounded by allies, and each of us is, in our own way, uniquely suited to the challenges ahead - as are you, or you wouldn't be here. By Seanan Mcguire Screwed Main Entire Life Succession

Did I ever tell you what came between your mother's heart and mine?""I don't think this is the time""Your friend would disagree," she said, almost playfully, her attention darting to Tybalt. Focusing in me again, she said, "He all but burns with what he doesn't say to you, and my time is mine to spend. By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Disagree Playfully Mine Time

Their love wanted to fix her, and refused to see that she wasn't broken. By Seanan Mcguire Broken Love Wanted Fix Refused

We'd already had the discussion about whether or not Jazz was allowed to move in.I said yes, of course. At least when Jazz is around, May occasionally lets me have the remote control. By Seanan Mcguire Jazz Discussion Allowed Move Ini

Airplanes: essentially buses that fly, and hence have the potential to drop out of the sky at any moment, spreading your insides which will no doubt become your outsides sometime during the collision across whatever you happen to have been flying over. Since we were flying mainly over ocean, I was the sure sharks would appreciate our sacrifice. By Seanan Mcguire Airplanes Essentially Fly Moment Spreading

(My youngest sister, Antimony, is still trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. For the moment, it mostly seems to be roller derby, the occasional monster hunting job, and getting pissed at our parents.) By Seanan Mcguire Antimony Sister Life Youngest Figure

No walking! No standing, no bending, no moving, no accessing the Shadow Roads, nothing. You don't swim for an hour after eating, you don't swan around like an idiot for an hour after narrowly avoiding death.''Toby does,' said Quentin.'Toby is genetically predisposed to swan around like an idiot,' Jin shot back. 'Now sit. By Seanan Mcguire Walking Toby Roads Hour Shadow

Have we reached the point where my intervention will not get me shouted at for being a meddling tomcat who doesn't respect the boundaries of others?" Tybalt stepped out of the shadows behind the Candela, tightening his hand around her throat. "I ask to be polite, you realize. There's no way I'm walking away. By Seanan Mcguire Reached Point Intervention Shouted Meddling

She said she'd been in relationships with way bigger problems than one of us being a transitory manifestation of impending doom. Like this one girl who liked her computer more than she liked her girlfriend, and another one who smoked. By Seanan Mcguire Doom Relationships Bigger Problems Transitory

Love doesn't care what you want. Love doesn't care if it's convenient. Love pursues its own agenda, and there's no bullet in the world that can take it down. More's the pity. By Seanan Mcguire Love Care Convenient Agenda Pity

We've got an airborne Sleeping Beauty By Seanan Mcguire Beauty Sleeping Airborne

Logic and loss aren't always great friends. Sometimes we mourn for the things that hurt us. Sometimes, that's okay. By Seanan Mcguire Logic Friends Loss Great Mourn

Jacqueline ran like she had been saving all her running for this moment, for this place where no one could see her, or scold her, or tell her that ladies didn't behave that way, sit down, slow down, you'll rip your dress, you'll stain your tights, be good. She was getting grass stains on her knees and mud under her fingernails, and she knew she'd regret both those things later, but in the moment, she didn't care. She was finally running. She was finally free.Jillian ran more slowly, careful not to trample the flowers, slowing down whenever she felt like it to look around herself in wide-eyed wonder. No one was telling her to go faster, to run harder, to keep her eyes on the ball; no one wanted this to be a competition. For the first time in years, she was running solely for the joy of running, and when she tripped and fell into the flowers, she went down laughing. By Seanan Mcguire Running Moment Jacqueline Sit Slow

Danny. You're a Troll, driving a cab. Yesterday, I was a superhero, and today I'm addicted to jam. Jam. Do you really think we get to pass judgment on what does and does not get to exist? By Seanan Mcguire Danny Troll Jam Yesterday Driving

Humanity has always had a flair for guilt by association. By Seanan Mcguire Humanity Association Flair Guilt

Technically this is assault and Henry would tell me to verbally request that you not file a sexual harassment claim against me," she said, turning back to Priya. "Honestly, I don't give a shit. I just want you to wake up. Although you know, you're pretty hot and all." This, too, was part of the story. Sleeping Beauties liked declarations of love, or attraction, or just "damn, girl, look at that body" before they were kissed awake. By Seanan Mcguire Priya Henry Technically Turning Honestly

Ah, ambushes. Those take me back. The best ones are the ones that start with chloroform and handcuffs, and end with death threats and knives. And by 'best' I mean 'most irritating,' you understand. By Seanan Mcguire Ambushes Back Handcuffs Knives Irritating

When the Root and Branch were young, when the Rose still grew unplucked upon the tree; when all our lands were new and green and we danced without care, then, we were immortal... We left those lands for the world where time dwells, dancing, that we might see the passage of the sun and the growing of the world. Here we may die, and where we can fall, and here King _ has stopped his dancing. By Seanan Mcguire Root Branch Rose Lands Young

None of the harvest tales started out as parasites. They were the most powerful pieces of the narrative, once upon a time. We fought back, turned them tame, gave them names and labels that pinned them like butterflies in the textbooks of religious studies professors and folklore teachers all around the world. By Seanan Mcguire Parasites Harvest Tales Started Narrative

The electronic age has broadened the horizons of magical fraud to an astonishing degree. Faerie gold can be used for more than just party tricks; it works pretty well on the stock market, for example, where money's an illusion anyway. By Seanan Mcguire Degree Electronic Age Broadened Horizons

The apartment was decorated in pinks, ranging from a deep shade bordering on red to a pale, near-white cream. Her blood probably fit right in until it started drying to an ugly shade of brown. By Seanan Mcguire Pinks Ranging Pale Nearwhite Cream

I wondered how much time they'd spent practicing entrances like this one, smoothing away their rough edges and rendering them brief but potent expressions of effortless grace. I decided to stop thinking about it, and just be grateful that there was no circumstance, however, unlikely, that could put me in their place. By Seanan Mcguire Smoothing Grace Wondered Time Spent

Love is a powerful thing; it makes us all equals by making us briefly, beautifully human. By Seanan Mcguire Love Thing Briefly Beautifully Human

The trick to doing things people say are impossible is confidence. As long as you seem to know what you're doing, and never hesitate, you're very unlikely to face any challenges. People don't like to break illusions, even when they don't know that's what they're looking at. - Kevin Price By Seanan Mcguire Confidence Trick Things Impossible People

Never rush anyone who's personally witnessed continental drift. By Seanan Mcguire Drift Rush Personally Witnessed Continental

Tybalt's what we call 'Cait Sidhe' - the fairy cats. Which explains the attitude. And the eyes." "Meow," said Tybalt, deadpan. By Seanan Mcguire Cait Sidhe Call Cats Tybalt

She sent you to your death once, in case you've forgotten," he said, a sudden chill dropping into his voice. "Why should her collapse concern me?"I paused. Tybalt was a cat before he was anything else. If something didn't affect him personally, he was unlikely to give a damn. Slowly, I said, "Because Rayseline is blaming me, and if Luna dies""The little bitch will push for your execution under Oberon's law," he snarled. I blinked. I'd expected a reaction, but nothing that strong. By Seanan Mcguire Forgotten Voice Death Case Sudden

I just wasn't anticipating Goblin assassins with crossbows pushing me into a situation where the only viable exit involved riding a mermaid's wheelchair into the marina.Sometimes I think my life is too complicated. By Seanan Mcguire Goblin Complicated Anticipating Assassins Crossbows

There's no such thing as a normal life. Some lives are just more interesting than others, and we shouldn't judge people for being boring. By Seanan Mcguire Life Thing Normal Boring Lives

Doors opened everywhere. Maybe one day, the children of this world who had gone to that world to save themselves would see a door that didn't fit right with the walls around it, something with a doorknob made of a moon, or a knocker that winked. Maybe they could still go home, By Seanan Mcguire Opened World Doors Door Day

So Gerry's a Rose Red now, even though Henry's part of a different story," said Andy. "Is it going to try to force him to be a girl?" "That's a risk, and the narrative has done stranger things," said Jeff. "Great, we're going to get to see my brother punch out the narrative," I said. "That'll make our jobs a lot easier." Demi blinked. "Is that possible?" "Probably not," I said, By Seanan Mcguire Andy Gerry Rose Red Henry

Anyone who says the past was perfect is a liar and wasn't there. Everything that thinks can aspire, and everything that aspires wants something better than what they've left behind them. By Seanan Mcguire Past Perfect Liar Left Aspire

Everything's a haunted house in today's America. Everything's in need of an exorcism. By Seanan Mcguire America Haunted House Today Exorcism

What, you thought that one story was somehow more real than all the others, just because it's the one that has the most people living in it? Shit, if it worked that way, all the narratives would focus on quantity over quality, and we'd be buried under something featuring rabbits. What we think of as reality is just the tale type that took over longest ago. The others keep fighting back. By Seanan Mcguire Thought Story Real People Living

Momma's going to commit a murder today," she said conversationally, tucking her bundled clothing up under her arm as she started for the door. "That's right. I'm going to find whoever woke me up, and I'm going to rip out their heart and show it to them before they have a chance to finish dropping dead. Won't that be nice, sweetie? Won't that be nice and bloody? By Seanan Mcguire Momma Today Conversationally Tucking Door

These days, everyone wants to eat, but no one wants to take the time and care needed to coax the land into giving up its glories. People don't change. We're always selfish, and we're always hungry. We've just gotten better at looking at greed and saying 'Oh, that's self-interest, that's all right.' We've forgotten the way the word 'enough' feels on the tongue. By Seanan Mcguire Days Eat Glories Time Care

Here's the first thing you need to know: all the fairy tales are true. Oh, the specific events that the Brothers Grimm chronicled and Disney animated may only have happened once, in some kingdom so old that we've forgotten whether it ever really existed, but the essential elements of the stories are true, and those elements are what keep repeating over and over again. By Seanan Mcguire True Thing Fairy Tales Elements

Promises bind our kind as surely as iron chains or ropes of human hair. The fae never swear by anything we don't believe in. We don't ask for thanks and we don't offer them; no promises, no regrets, no chains. No lies. By Seanan Mcguire Hair Bind Kind Surely Iron

Better cranky and alive than cheerful and dead. By Seanan Mcguire Dead Cranky Alive Cheerful

How much does the iron in your blood and the calcium in your bones remember of the heart of the star in which they were born? And if they can forget that terrible, magnificent heat and light, what hope do I have of being more than an unremarkable footnote to you? By Seanan Mcguire Born Iron Blood Calcium Bones

Also you don't have to worry about stumbling over any sexual fetishes unless you're checking somebody's browser history, and I figure once was enough to teach you that lesson." Dominic choked on his milkshake. "I hate you." Sarah sipped her shake, expression mild. By Seanan Mcguire History Lesson Worry Stumbling Sexual

Where do they come from?" In those days, her every word was gospel truth, and I would have asked anything to keep her talking to me."Tears. The first time Oberon left Maeve for her pretty sister, she didn't understand, and she nearly died of sorrow. By Seanan Mcguire Tears Days Truth Oberon Maeve

(Krav maga is an Israeli-developed fighting style centered on the idea that when I put you down, you stay down. It's fast, it's brutal, and I love it. Sort of like club dancing with more eye gouging and less grinding.) By Seanan Mcguire Krav Israelideveloped Maga Fighting Style

I have a swizzle stick shaped like a little monkey," announced Rose. "Let's help the dead man with his problem. By Seanan Mcguire Rose Monkey Announced Swizzle Stick

Are the fae ever sane? We live in a world that isn't there half the time. We claim that windmills are giants, and because we say it, it's true. Our lives become myth and legend, until even we can't tell what we truly are from what we're told we ought to be. How can we live that way and be considered sane? My lord was never sane, but he was my love once. He always will be, somewhere. Wherever it is that the once upon a times go when they die. By Seanan Mcguire Sane Fae Live World Half

Running through an unfamiliar forest filled with thorns is half an exercise in masochism, and half an obstacle course from the deepest reaches of Hell. By Seanan Mcguire Hell Half Running Masochism Unfamiliar

Being smart isn't good enough. You need to be educated, and you need to be open-minded, and you need to remember that what you don't know can most definitely hurt you. By Seanan Mcguire Smart Good Educated Openminded Remember

Tybalt put a hand on my back, resting it in the space between my shoulder blades. "Are you all right?""Not on this or any other planet." I straightened, up looking around. We were under the old bridge spanning the creek that cut through the middle of campus. I sighed. "See, if I'd just realized where we'd come out, I could have thrown up in the water. Less mess.""Yes, but won't you think about the frogs? I'm sure they receive enough unwanted vomit from the student body. By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Back Resting Blades Put

April frowned, irritation evident. "I did not consent to your presence," she said peevishly. "Please depart, and attempt your political assassination on someone else's property. By Seanan Mcguire April Frowned Irritation Evident Presence

Snarling like a chainsaw trying to sing opera By Seanan Mcguire Snarling Opera Chainsaw Sing

I'd never seen the King of Cats fight before. He was suddenly everywhere, made of nothing but fangs and claws and fury, snarling like a chainsaw trying to sing opera. Our witless assassin never stood a chance. By Seanan Mcguire King Cats Fight Made Fury

I had to admire the Evil Dead-level dedication that went into thinking "I'll take a chainsaw into battle against a werewolf," even as I wanted to find out who thought it was a good idea and shake them until they realized the error of their ways. Almost By Seanan Mcguire Evil Deadlevel Thinking Werewolf Admire

I know your son in all ways better than you do. Remember that, as you consider taking him from me." "Oak and ash, Raj, don't talk to my parents like that! Actually, don't talk to anyone like that. You know modern grammar. Use it." I didn't have another roll, so I couldn't throw it at him. I settled for wadding up my napkin and bouncing it off his head. He frowned at me, clearly unrepentant. "They're purebloods. They don't listen to modern grammar. By Seanan Mcguire Son Talk Raj Grammar Oak

I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that fighting Tybalt wouldn't get me out of the darkness. It would strand me there. By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Darkness Idea Knew Fighting

FORGIVE OR NOT, AS YOU WILL, AND KNOW ALWAYS THAT YOU ARE A HURRICANE IN THE BODY OF A GIRL, GLORIOUS AND FEARSOME AND WONDERFUL AND CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. By Seanan Mcguire Forgive Girl Glorious Hurricane Body

Damn.""I know." "I mean seriously ... damn." "Yeah." "When you decide it's time to up the ante on getting into deep shit, you don't mess around, do you? You're just like, hey, what's the worst that can happen? That's the worst that can happen? Great. Let's do that."- Danny to Toby By Seanan Mcguire Damn Happen Yeah Worst Damn

Have to go see the official housing, but I should be able to sneak out after sunset. Meet you back at our usual spot?" "Ah, yes; I'd missed this phase in our relationship. The intrigue. The subterfuge. The frequent need for tetanus shots." Dominic By Seanan Mcguire Housing Sunset Official Sneak Meet

Hopefully, anyone who saw a woman riding a screaming mermaid in a wheelchair down Leavenworth at a quarter to five in the morning would just think they'd had too much to drink. By Seanan Mcguire Leavenworth Drink Woman Riding Screaming

Life in our world is very sink or swim, and that's for the best. If you can't survive in the deep end, you should get out before you drown. By Seanan Mcguire Life Swim World Sink End

If anyone should be kind, understanding, accepting, loving to their fellow outcasts, it's you. All of you. You are the guardians of the secrets of the universe, beloved of worlds most would never dream of, much less see. . . can't you see where you owe it to yourselves to be kind? By Seanan Mcguire Understanding Accepting Loving Outcasts Kind

Who the fuck has a hedge maze in a residential neighborhood?" "This woman's parents," said Piotr. "Aside from that . . . serial killers, presumably. People who enjoy Stephen King novels a bit too much. And people who are hoping that one night, they'll wake up to find David Bowie standing at their window." "Right, By Seanan Mcguire Neighborhood Piotr Fuck Hedge Maze

Who has a hedge maze in a residential neighborhood? ... serial killers presumably, people who enjoy Steven King novels a bit too much, and people that are hoping one night they will wake up to find David Bowie standing at their window. By Seanan Mcguire Neighborhood Hedge Maze Residential People

There's nothing wrong with making a last stand. Just make sure you bring enough grenades to share with the entire class. - Alice Healy By Seanan Mcguire Stand Wrong Making Alice Healy

I mean, it was hard on them. They were turning their backs on everything they'd ever known, because they'd decided there was something that mattered more than doing what they'd been taught to do. Hell, what they'd been raised to do. This wasn't a choice they made on a whim. This was everything to them. By Seanan Mcguire Hard Hell Turning Backs Decided

I smiled. I know how creepy I am when I smile. Whoever came up with "skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood" and thought people would find it attractive really wasn't thinking things through. By Seanan Mcguire Smiled Smile Creepy Skin Snow

I've never liked being looked at like I was a hero. I always wind up letting someone down. Sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes the only person who gets hurt is me. By Seanan Mcguire Hero Looked Wind Letting Lucky

I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered. By Seanan Mcguire Uttered Require Horrifically Alcoholic Makes

Istas, please don't eat my mice. They're very important to me, and besides, it's rude to eat anything you've been introduced to. By Seanan Mcguire Istas Mice Eat Important Rude

The Luidaeg.Something woke in me that remembered how to hope, because I recognized her as soon as I knew her namethe sea witch, Blind Michael's sister, who sent me to him in the first place. There were figures in the darkness behind her, but none of them mattered; the Luidaeg would save me if anyone could. I owed her, after all. She needed me alive to pay my debts. By Seanan Mcguire Blind Michael Hope Witch Sister

I don't like corpses in that way unless they've been reanimated," said Jack. "Corpses are incapable of offering informed consent, and are hence no better than vibrators." "I wish that didn't make so much sense, By Seanan Mcguire Jack Reanimated Corpses Consent Vibrators

Kade was possibly the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen. She wanted to spend hours sitting with him and talking about pointless things. She wanted to feel his hand against her skin, to know that his presence was absolute and focused entirely on her. The trouble was, it never seemed to end there, and that was as far as she was willing to go. By Seanan Mcguire Kade Wanted Possibly Beautiful Boy

When the time comes for my current mortal face to end- and it will come, much as I might wish this time could last forever- I will understand the man I must manufacture as my next self all the better because of the children, and their comics. And besides, the X-Men offer many powerful life lessons to which even the eldest among us should attend. By Seanan Mcguire Time End Forever Children Comics

Sometimes I wonder if that was the true crime of the twencen world. Not destroying the environment or overpopulating the planet or anything else like that. But they forgot that every day they lived was filled with magic and with little miracles, and they needed to be punished for what they chose not to know. By Seanan Mcguire World True Crime Twencen Destroying

Family matters more than anything else in this world. Family doesn't have to love you. Family doesn't even have to like you. But when you need them, family has to have your back." - Kevin Price By Seanan Mcguire Family World Matters Kevin Price

The mythology warped and twisted back along itself until Buffy Summers, the girl who once railed against the unfairness of being Chosen, looked at a squadron of girls who were just like she'd been and took away their right to Choose. By Seanan Mcguire Summers Chosen Choose Buffy Looked

I love you more than fairy tales. By Seanan Mcguire Tales Love Fairy

I hate paperwork," announced Andy, looking up from his desk. "How is it that we have a form for 'you got a gingerbread house dropped on your head'? How do we have a job where that's something you'd need a form for?" "There's By Seanan Mcguire Andy Paperwork Announced Desk Form

Fran blinked. Fran removed a biscuit from her bag, taking a thoughtful bite and chewing slowly before she swallowed. And finally, Fran asked the question that Jonathan had been waiting for ever since she said that she was going to accompany him to Gentling, Maine: "How'n the hell do you fuck a mermaid? Fish ain't got vaginas, last time I checked. By Seanan Mcguire Fran Blinked Maine Gentling Hown

When I was getting ready for the release of 'Deadline,' when it was coming out soon, I decided that the appropriate way to get people excited about the book would be to write a novella in 30 pieces and publish a piece on my blog every day for a month ... during a convention, a week-and-a-half-long trip to New York, and a doll traders' expo. By Seanan Mcguire Deadline Month Pieces Piece Ready

Lindworms are a sign of a healthy ecosystem," I said, straightening. "Now let's get out of here before the healthy ecosystem eats us. By Seanan Mcguire Straightening Lindworms Healthy Ecosystem Sign

Children of Maeve reproducing with children of Titania wasn't like apples mixing with oranges - it was more like apples mixing with cheese graters, or rainbows with hardware stores. By Seanan Mcguire Apples Mixing Children Maeve Titania

I think that love is important. Love is an anchor; it gives us a reason to come back when we might otherwise have gone too far into vengeance or anger or sorrow. Love can't be the only thing we depend upon, but if there is a chance to find it, it should be pursued. However much that may change the life we believed that we were going to lead. By Seanan Mcguire Love Important Anchor Sorrow Reason

Oh, shit." It wasn't the most intelligent thing that Sloane had ever said, but considering the circumstances, she thought she was doing pretty well. The pretty Indian woman in the lab coat who had collapsed into her arms didn't react to the profanity. Sloane gave her an experimental shake. She didn't react to that either, and so Sloane shook her harder, hoping that maybe that would do something. All it did was cause the strange woman's arms and head to flop around until Sloane started to worry about accidentally breaking her neck. The paperwork for that would be, well, murder. Not to be crass or anything. By Seanan Mcguire Sloane Shit React Pretty Woman

Only an idiot would trust a Kelpie this close to the water. Getting on its back with the scent of the sea in the air would be a fast, painful means of suicide, and I'm not a fan of pain. By Seanan Mcguire Kelpie Water Idiot Trust Close

Our would-be Pan shouted something else at Sloane. "Oh yeah?! Never grow up this!" she shouted back, and something black fluttered down from the rooftop. For a horrified second, I thought the boy had jumped. Then the black thing landed on one of the firemen, and I realized that the answer was slightly more mundane, if no less horrifying: Sloane had thrown her shirt off the roof. Her bra landed on the grass next to a fireman's feet a moment later. By Seanan Mcguire Pan Sloane Wouldbe Shouted Landed

Don't underestimate him just because he's a fool, By Seanan Mcguire Fool Underestimate

A valet pulled up in a sleek-lined sports car painted that particular shade of red peculiar to expensive vehicles and hookers' lipstick. By Seanan Mcguire Lipstick Valet Pulled Sleeklined Sports

One day you will have to tell me where you acquired this aversion to walking on solid ground," said Dominic. "Try having a baby sister whose idea of a good time involves pit traps and land mines," I advised. By Seanan Mcguire Dominic Ground Day Acquired Aversion

Painters and sculptors and designers, they take raw materials and turn them into art. Dancers turn themselves into art. We are poetry in motion when we do our jobs right, and we can stop your heart with the point of a toe or the angle of a limb. But By Seanan Mcguire Art Painters Designers Turn Sculptors

Jeff sighed. "Henry. You know as well as I do that any one of us could do a great deal of damage if we set our minds to it. Demi is the human equivalent of a nuclear bomb. I could cripple the power grid for this entire coast. You could - " "Rally the squirrels of the world to my defense," I finished sourly. By Seanan Mcguire Jeff Sighed Henry Rally Demi

Sloane sauntered into the observation room like she didn't have a care in the world, and scowled when she saw the coffee cup in my hand. "I came for coffee," she said. "If you have consumed all the coffee, I am going to straight-up fucking murder you, and drink a latte out of your skull. By Seanan Mcguire Coffee Sloane World Hand Sauntered

Going to straight-up fucking murder you, and drink a latte out of your skull." "You forgot to mention poison," I said, taking By Seanan Mcguire Skull Taking Straightup Fucking Murder

In aeternum felicitas vindactio. Defending happily ever after. By Seanan Mcguire Vindactio Aeternum Felicitas Defending Happily

When the door opened, the three goons from the hall found me braced in a defensive stance, holding a full-sized horseman's glaive in front of me. As expected, all three of them stopped and stared. Eight-foot long polearms had that effect on people. By Seanan Mcguire Opened Stance Holding Door Goons

What's to stop the populace from decrying you as a witch and rising against you?""I don't know. A couple hundred years of social evolution, combined with a general failure to believe in anything that doesn't have a Wikipedia entry? By Seanan Mcguire Stop Populace Decrying Witch Rising

I might regret my promises, but I keep them. By Seanan Mcguire Promises Regret

And you shouldn't believe all the press about Ouija boards. They can't be used in an exorcism. Trivial Pursuit can, but that's another story. By Seanan Mcguire Ouija Boards Press Exorcism Pursuit

Sometimes it's convenient to have a pet that no one believes in. I'd never be allowed to bring a cat to work every day, but since Crow "isn't real," no one's ever reported him to the zoo management. Other times, I think it would be nice to stop hiding him from the world. Miniature griffins could be the next big trend in exotic pets. By Seanan Mcguire Convenient Crow Day Real Management

THE HABIT OF NARRATION, of crafting something miraculous out of the commonplace, was hard to break. Narration came naturally after a time spent in the company of talking scarecrows or disappearing cats; it was, in its own way, a method of keeping oneself grounded, connected to the thin thread of continuity that ran through all lives, no matter how strange they might become. Narrate the impossible things, turn them into a story, and they could be controlled. By Seanan Mcguire Habit Narration Commonplace Break Crafting

Evening was my worst friend and my best enemy, and she never really knew me, because even in the end, she didn't understand that I would've done it without the curse. By Seanan Mcguire Evening Enemy End Curse Worst

Ever cater a banquet for royalty? . . . Well, don't. It's awful. Just awful. -- Madden By Seanan Mcguire Royalty Madden Cater Banquet Awful

It wasn't easy, but like I've always said, if you can't lie to yourself, who can you lie to? The food By Seanan Mcguire Lie Easy Food

Only silence answered me. No, not quite silence - the Peter Pan that Sloane was trying to talk off the roof of the apartment building was shouting something at her, his weedy, prepubescent voice shredded into wordless tatters by the wind. The wind found no such purchase with Sloane. "And I'm telling you that Neverland isn't real!" she shouted. "You can't fucking fly, kid - the laws of physics are for everybody! By Seanan Mcguire Sloane Silence Answered Wind Peter

This, too, was part of losing Fran: watching all the things she'd made better with her presence fade blacker than they'd been before she came along. By Seanan Mcguire Fran Watching Part Losing Things

I can't. I'm not a good influence on him. I keep getting him shot. I swear too much, I don't brush my teeth every time I go to bed, and I never remember to eat a balanced breakfast. You want someone with culture. Poise. A lack of gunfire.-Toby By Seanan Mcguire Toby Good Influence Shot Poise

If you didn't think I knew what I know, why are you telling me what you think I didn't know but might have come here looking to find out?" Shelby paused. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure even I understand what I just said. By Seanan Mcguire Knew Telling Find Shelby Paused

When someone judges you for something you can't help, try to forgive them. They don't understand. And if they keep doing it, knock their fucking teeth in. By Seanan Mcguire Judges Forgive Understand Knock Fucking

Sarah turned her narrow-eyed gaze on him, making me glad once more that Antimony's comic books got it wrong, and telepaths can't actually kill you with their brains. Give you a whopping headache and earworm you with annoying jingles, yes; kill you, no. (Although sometimes, when she's managed to stick "The Happy Banana Song" in my head for a week, I sort of wish she could kill people with her brain. It would be kinder.) By Seanan Mcguire Antimony Kill Sarah Making Wrong

I found 'Bordertown' when I was standing on the border between childhood and my teens, and it carried me past that transition. In the process, it helped to create the next step of its own evolution: the modern urban fantasy owes a lot more to 'Bordertown' than many people will ever know. By Seanan Mcguire Bordertown Found Teens Transition Standing

When in doubt, play dead. Well, unless you might be dealing with a ghoul, or a basilisk, or something else that likes its meat a little ripe. Actually, when in doubt, just start shooting. - Alice Healy By Seanan Mcguire Doubt Play Dead Alice Healy

I have waited a very long time to be able to have inappropriately timed discussions about the status of our relationship with you. I don't intend to let my own stupidity take this opportunity away from me. By Seanan Mcguire Waited Long Time Inappropriately Timed

You know, as stupid-ass delusions go, this one is pretty good," said Sloane. "It's consistent, it's logical, and it's fucking moronic. Gold star." "Don't say 'moronic,'" said Jeff. "It's ableist language, and you know I won't stand for that." "Fuck you," replied Sloane genially. "Much less offensive," said Jeff. By Seanan Mcguire Jeff Good Sloane Moronic Stupidass

She can stop traffic with a smile. I can stop traffic, too. I just tend to do it by crashing my car into something. By Seanan Mcguire Stop Smile Traffic Tend Crashing

Not fair," Quentin said. "She's the one insulting us, and she gets to walk away?" "Dramatic exits are the last refuge of the infantile personality," I said. "Now drink your soda and help me think of nasty names to call her next time she shows up. By Seanan Mcguire Quentin Fair Dramatic Personality Insulting

Time never runs backward when I need it to. Not for me, and not for anyone else. By Seanan Mcguire Time Runs Backward

Sometimes I think Faerie goes to war as much because we can't find anyone who'd rather talk things out as for any other reason. Diplomacy is not a valued skill among the Courts. Most of our nobles would prefer to do the dance of manners and then slide a knife between someone's ribs. It's more fun than actually discussing trade sanctions and why it's rude to kill your neighbors. By Seanan Mcguire Faerie Reason War Find Talk

Can we all say 'yay, we waved our dicks around,' and eat our damn dinner already?""I think I like your sister," I murmured."Don't worry, she doesn't like you," Shelby murmured back. By Seanan Mcguire Yay Shelby Sister Murmured Worry

A proper lady should be able to smile pretty, wear sequins like she means it, and kick a man's ass nine ways from Sunday while wearing stiletto heels. If she can't do that much, she's not trying hard enough. By Seanan Mcguire Sunday Pretty Wear Heels Proper

They thought they had snicker-snatched a little girl - fairies love taking little girls, it's like an addiction with them - and when they found out they had a little boy who just looked like a little girl on the outside, uh-oh, donesies. They threw him right back. By Seanan Mcguire Girl Uhoh Donesies Fairies Girls

Rules only matter if everyone understands them, agrees to them, and can be trusted not to break them. Bearing these irrefutable facts in mind, rules never matter at all. By Seanan Mcguire Rules Agrees Matter Understands Trusted

It's lovely," I said, taking an involuntary half step back. "Really, though. I don't like to handle other people's cookware." "That's the best you can manage? That's your bright, bold lie?" "Look, lady, I don't know about you, but I've never had somebody corner me on a dark street and try to hand me a frying pan before," I snapped. By Seanan Mcguire Lovely Taking Back Involuntary Half

I do a lot of urban fantasy, which is modern-day cities, but you've got magic, you've got fairies running around, or cryptozoological creatures running around, and I'm pulling very heavily on my background as a folklore major and having done some animation work and all of that, and I'm pulling from the modern fairy tale narrative. By Seanan Mcguire Running Pulling Fantasy Cities Magic

Faeries are real. Magic is real. My tendency to greet dangerous situations by plunging in headfirst and seeing how long it takes to get myself covered head to toe in blood is also real. By Seanan Mcguire Real Faeries Magic Tendency Greet

That's the nature of stories. No one ever gets to know the entire thing. We just get to know the parts we have to deal with right here, right now. Before they rip our throats out. By Seanan Mcguire Stories Nature Thing Entire Parts

The Moors were beautiful in their own way, and if their beauty was the quiet sort that required time and introspection to be seen, well, there was nothing wrong with that. The best beauty was the sort that took some seeking. By Seanan Mcguire Moors Beauty Sort Beautiful Quiet

The Moors exist in eternal twilight, in the pause between the lightning strike and the resurrection. They are a place of endless scientific experimentation, of monstrous beauty, and of terrible consequences. By Seanan Mcguire Moors Twilight Resurrection Exist Eternal

If there was one thing we shared, thanks to our upbringing in an ATI-aware household, it was the knowledge that the sudden smell of mysterious baked goods never meant anything good for anybody. By Seanan Mcguire Shared Household Thing Upbringing Atiaware

There is evil in the world. Things might be easier if there wasn't, if good and evil were just concepts men invented to justify themselves; we could ignore them, then. Sadly, good and evil are both very real, and very inconvenient. By Seanan Mcguire Evil World Good Sadly Things

Lying to you would be a mistreatment of what that love means. By Seanan Mcguire Lying Mistreatment Love

It was easier than I expected, maybe because I was too angry and too afraid to really pay attention to what I was doing. Things are always easy when you refuse to let yourself remember how dangerous they are. By Seanan Mcguire Expected Easier Angry Afraid Pay

It's just so beautiful," said Lyra, miming wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "Our little Valerie's learning how to play nicely with the other children." "I will kill you all in your sleep," I said. Lyra was still laughing when the town car arrived. By Seanan Mcguire Beautiful Miming Eye Lyra Wiping

When you decide it's time to up the ante on getting into deep shit, you don't mess around, do you? You're just like, hey, what's the worst that can happen? That's the worst that can happen? Great. Let's do that. By Seanan Mcguire Happen Shit Worst Decide Time

And I won't let anybody hurt the boys, since they're too wussy to defend themselves. By Seanan Mcguire Boys Hurt Wussy Defend

The God of Scales and Silences is not sick," said the mouse. The others joined in with nods and sounds of rodent agreement. "He is damaged, yes, and will need Tender Care and perhaps Kisses for his Boo-Boos, but he is not sick. By Seanan Mcguire God Scales Silences Sick Mouse

I am the sea witch. I am the tide you fear and the turning you can't deny. I am the sound of the waves running over your bones on the beach, little man, and I am not amused at finding you on my doorstep. By Seanan Mcguire Witch Sea Deny Tide Fear

This world is unforgiving and cruel to those it judges as even the slightest bit outside the norm. By Seanan Mcguire Norm World Unforgiving Cruel Judges

Sometimes romance is of less importance than the feeling of being absolutely safe: of knowing that nothing and no one can hurt you, because the person who loves you most in all the world will destroy them if they try. By Seanan Mcguire Safe Romance Importance Feeling Absolutely

I would greatly prefer it if you didn't put a bullet into my brain; it would complicate my plans for life, most of which involve not being dead. By Seanan Mcguire Brain Life Dead Greatly Prefer

- just your basic girl next door, assuming your girl next door comes spring-loaded with seventeen ways to kill a man. Which implies a pretty interesting neighborhood that most people probably don't want to visit. By Seanan Mcguire Girl Door Assuming Man Basic

There's nothing wrong with having a few monsters in the shadows. They keep me remembering what it is that I'm walking away from. By Seanan Mcguire Shadows Wrong Monsters Remembering Walking

There's no more damage to be done," she said, in a faint, almost thoughtful voice. "No more damage, no salvation. One more of Faerie's glorious monsters lost.""If you'd left us alone--" I began."You'd have sent some hero after me, given time enough. I killed, I die. At least I killed like a monster kills, instead of with iron, and dying by inches. That's Titania's way, the Queen who stands in the darkness and screams about her light. By Seanan Mcguire Damage Faint Voice Thoughtful Killed

Why does Eleanor let you have that much acid?" he asked. "Why would you want that much acid? You don't need that much acid.""Except that it appears I do, since I have just enough to dissolve a human body, and we have a human body in need of dissolving," said Jack. "Everything happens for a reason. And Eleanor didn't 'let' me have this much acid. I sort of collected it on my own. For a rainy day.""What were you expecting it to rain?" said Christopher. "Bears? By Seanan Mcguire Acid Eleanor Asked Human Body

I whirled, fighting a wave of dizziness as I pointed at Sylvester and snapped, "Don't you 'October' me. He is my family . Even if you couldn't respect that, I don't understand how the hell you got Quentin to go along with you."- Toby to Sylvester in reference to Tybalt. By Seanan Mcguire October Sylvester Whirled Fighting Snapped

It can't all be dreams because a broken dream will kill you as surely as a nightmare will, and with a lot less mercy. At least the nightmares don't smile while they take you down. By Seanan Mcguire Mercy Broken Kill Surely Lot

I am what I am, and there's much about me that won't be changed with any amount of wishing or wanting. I'm sorry for that. I'd trade a great deal to share an afternoon in the hay with you, dust in the air and sweat on our skins and neither of us caring. But I'm afraid the experience would drive me mad. I am a creature of sterile environments. It's too late for me to change. By Seanan Mcguire Wanting Changed Amount Wishing Dust

You know what "sorry" does? Sorry doesn't do a damn thing. By Seanan Mcguire Thing Damn

We came here because no place would take us after our momma died. They all said go away, come back when you're older, when you know better, when you've learned. Only no one wants to teach how to be older or to know better - not even Devin. They just teach us how to be broken. By Seanan Mcguire Died Place Momma Older Devin

Sloane's laugh was brief and brittle, like ice breaking in an enchanted forest. By Seanan Mcguire Sloane Brittle Forest Laugh Ice

The problem with people who say monsters don't really exist is that they're almost never saying it to the monsters. - Alice Healy By Seanan Mcguire Monsters Alice Healy Problem People

I really don't think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don't know where it's been. - Enid Healy By Seanan Mcguire Dear Manticore Put Hand Inside

There's no such thing as fighting dirty. There's fighting like you want to live, and fighting like you want to die. If you've got anything to live for - anything at all - I suggest you try the first way. The people you love will thank you for it. - Alice Healy By Seanan Mcguire Fighting Dirty Thing Live Alice

The greatest joy is the joy of discovery. Followed closely by the joy of a discovery that doesn't kill you. - Enid Healy By Seanan Mcguire Joy Discovery Greatest Enid Healy

Brenna Kelly, meet Alice Price-Healy. Grandma, meet Breanna. No one is shooting, stabbing or immolating anyone in this hotel room.""Please," added Dominic. "I have to sleep here.""HAIL!" Rejoiced the mice. "HAIL THE LACK OF STABBING, SHOOTING AND FLAME! By Seanan Mcguire Kelly Alice Meet Hail Brenna

Pronouns are only useful when you combine them with other words. I have a few I can give you, if you're at a loss. By Seanan Mcguire Pronouns Words Combine Loss Give

I looked back to Dominic, who was watching me with unguarded affection. "You are insane, infuriating, and in dire need of aid if you're going to survive this," he said. "My help was always yours. All you had to do was ask for it." "I'm asking," I said. "Then I'm yours. By Seanan Mcguire Dominic Affection Looked Back Watching

We're good," said Rose, sounding faintly disgusted. "Get into the digestive tract of the hybrid dead woman. Everything's fine. By Seanan Mcguire Rose Good Sounding Disgusted Faintly

Hope means you keep holding on to things that won't ever be so again. By Seanan Mcguire Hope Holding Things

Hope means you keep on holding to things that won't ever be so again, and so you bleed an inch at a time until there's nothing left By Seanan Mcguire Hope Left Holding Things Bleed

Never tell anyone to be careful, never ask what that noise was, and for the love of God, never, ever say that you'll be right back. - Evelyn Baker By Seanan Mcguire God Careful Back Noise Love

Didn't we talk about this?""HAIL!""That isn't an answer." I planted my hands on my hips. "Was there a reason for shoving the gummy bears off the counter? Did they tell you they were suicidal? On second thought," I raised a hand, palm out, "don't answer that. If the candy is talking, I don't want to know. By Seanan Mcguire Hail Talk Answer Hips Planted

It's not that Etienne dislikes Tybalt. Etienne just dislikes chaos, and Tybalt causes almost as much commotion as I do. Sometimes more, when he really sets his mind to it, although my chaos is a little more destructive, if I do say so myself. By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Etienne Dislikes Chaos Destructive

I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches. By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Sandwich Proclamation Resolved Love

Yes, that's a brilliant idea. Choose the career path most likely to lead to an early, painful death, and you're sure to find job satisfaction. By Seanan Mcguire Idea Brilliant Choose Early Painful

Everyone thinks of them in terms of poisoned apples and glass coffins, and forgets that they represent girls who walked into dark forests and remade them into their own reflections. By Seanan Mcguire Coffins Reflections Terms Poisoned Apples

There's one thing the Brothers Grimm got very, very wrong: There's no such thing as "ever after." That would require that the story ever end. By Seanan Mcguire Brothers Grimm Wrong Thing End

Faerie may not always have been the kindest place to live, but it was still my home. I owed it to Gillian, To May, to Dare, and Tybalt and January, and all the others not to say that my life had been a mistake. Not when it had been so intertwined with theirs. By Seanan Mcguire Faerie Live Home Kindest Place

There was still something unfinished around her eyes; she wasn't done yet. She was a story, not an epilogue. And if she chose to narrate her own life one word at a time as she descended the stairs to meet her newest arrival, that wasn't hurting anyone. Narration was a hard habit to break, after all. Sometimes it was all a body had. By Seanan Mcguire Eyes Unfinished Story Epilogue Arrival

A cat that looks bored is a cat that's getting ready to pounce. By Seanan Mcguire Cat Pounce Bored Ready

Changing clothes in a public restroom is an acquired skill, one that becomes an art when the bathroom floor hasn't been washed in a decade or more. By Seanan Mcguire Changing Skill Clothes Public Restroom

After months - after years - of chaos and life-threatening situations and people stabbing me for no good reason, we'd somehow managed to find a moment to breathe. That didn't just deserve to be enjoyed. It deserved to be celebrated, held up as proof that the world was a good place and didn't actually need to be destroyed in order for me to have a nap. By Seanan Mcguire Months Years Reason Breathe Chaos

She's more of a 'standing really still and hoping nothing eats her' sort of girl. By Seanan Mcguire Standing Sort Girl Hoping Eats

So I guess you've converted him through the power of your naughtiness and flexibility. What are you going to do with him? "Shut up," I hissed. By Seanan Mcguire Flexibility Guess Converted Power Naughtiness

As always, my alarm went off too early, yanking me back into a world I wasn't quite prepared to deal with. I looked automatically toward the window as I sat up. Only three bloody crescents marked the spots where bluebirds had managed to slam themselves to death against the glass. By Seanan Mcguire Early Yanking Alarm Back World

Raysel, you told me yourself that your father wasn't my liege anymore. I don't have to obey his wishes, spoken or unspoken, and so I can finally say this: go drown yourself, you self-righteous little bitch. By Seanan Mcguire Raysel Anymore Told Father Liege

Sometimes I think it must have been nice to be alive in the days where everyone knew that Faerie existed. Sure, bands of angry humans sometimes tried to kill us with iron and fire, but nobody questioned where we wanted to celebrate the seasons. By Seanan Mcguire Faerie Existed Nice Alive Days

Thanksgiving dinner with my family is awesome," I deadpanned. "Now drink your gold before somebody comes along and mutates you into a twisted parody of humanity. By Seanan Mcguire Thanksgiving Awesome Deadpanned Dinner Family

The horror and venom that infused her final word was practically visible, dripping from her mouth and running down to the floor like so much poisoned water. By Seanan Mcguire Visible Dripping Water Horror Venom

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived with monsters, and the monsters swore that they would never hurt him, because even monsters dream of living happily ever after. By Seanan Mcguire Monsters Time Boy Lived Swore

The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. By Seanan Mcguire Tautology Club Rule

Valerie didn't have those problems. Valerie was just another dancer, and anything she needed to hide would be mundane and understandable. Sometimes I envied Valerie, even though I knew that her life was simple only because she didn't actually exist. Maybe that was always the secret to a simple life. Reality was the complicating factor. By Seanan Mcguire Valerie Problems Life Simple Dancer

If you offered me the chance to do it all over, knowing what I know now, after the things I've seen ... I'd shoot you in the head. That ain't the kind of thing you ask a lady. - Frances Brown By Seanan Mcguire Knowing Offered Chance Frances Brown

Telepaths have ethics?' Dominic's eyes narrowed, tone and posture united to convey disbelief.'My mother and I do, said Sarah, letting her head settle against the back of the chair. 'We mostly got them from Babylon 5, but they still work. By Seanan Mcguire Telepaths Ethics Sarah Babylon Dominic

Raj had known, of course; Raj had known who I really was for years. By Seanan Mcguire Raj Years

Jacqueline and Jillian, who were crying for some of the many reasons that babies cry - they were cold, they were distressed, they were offended by the existence of gravity - continued to wail. By Seanan Mcguire Jillian Jacqueline Cry Cold Distressed

Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind. By Seanan Mcguire Parthenogenesis Blind Mother Stop

These are friendly people," I said, bending to begin work on his ankles. "Remind me to hit them a lot if I get the chance. By Seanan Mcguire People Bending Ankles Remind Friendly

Australia basically holds the copyright on "weird ecosystem." The only place where you're going to find weirder things is at the bottom of the ocean, and no one suggests that you go there for a fun family vacation.) By Seanan Mcguire Australia Weird Ecosystem Basically Holds

couldn't I have picked a more reasonable time to do it? Then again, when do I get a reasonable time to do anything anymore? There's always something going wrong. If I put my life on hold until everything was calm, I'd be waiting forever for the chance to start living. Tybalt By Seanan Mcguire Time Reasonable Picked Anymore Tybalt

First, check your ammunition. Then, check your escape routes. Finally, check your hair. - Frances Brown By Seanan Mcguire Check Ammunition Frances Brown Finally

There's something remarkably artificial about a certain type of bureaucratic sterility, like even it can't make up its mind whether or not it actually exists. By Seanan Mcguire Sterility Exists Remarkably Artificial Type

He said that he was sure you would be amendable to this course of action." April paused, eyes widening, before she said indignantly, "I believe he may have lied to me! By Seanan Mcguire Action Amendable April Paused Eyes

I stared at her. "But she drugged us.""That is no longer news, dumbass. Are you going to ask why she drugged you?""Allright," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Why?""Because, dear October, you're the most passively suicidal person I've ever met, and that's saying something. You'll never open your wrists, but you'll run headfirst into hell. You'll have good reasons. You'll have great reasons, even. And a part of you will be praying that you won't come out again. By Seanan Mcguire Stared Drugged Reasons Allright October

For is it not said That Girl Knows No Fear, and Dammit, Fran, She's Going To Get Herself Et, and This Is From Your Side Of The Family, Jonathan, No One In My Family Has Ever Hugged A Basilisk Before? By Seanan Mcguire Fran Jonathan Fear Dammit Family

Hell hath no fury like a centuries-old organisation of zealots scorned. By Seanan Mcguire Hell Scorned Hath Fury Centuriesold

Or do you truly mean for us to believe that when you were running along rainbows, you never saw anyone fall? Someone plummets out of the sky, they're not going to get up and walk away from it. They're going to die. By Seanan Mcguire Rainbows Fall Running Sky Die

You can live your life in "should" and never change anything. What's done is done. We buried our dead. I went home. Manuel went to Shadowed Hills to hate me in peace. By Seanan Mcguire Live Life Change Shadowed Hills

I do so love how all magic comes with its share of dire warnings and unclear requirements," sighed Tybalt. "It's like being on the stage, only there's no director, and the understudies have all died of typhus. By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Requirements Sighed Love Magic

'Filk' is the folk music of the science fiction and fantasy community - you get parodies, you get traditional music that's had the words slightly modified, and you'll also get just original works that have been written about science fiction and fantasy works, or with science fiction and fantasy themes. By Seanan Mcguire Fiction Filk Science Fantasy Music

We had left the flea market - collecting Malena from a stall that sold live birds, where she'd purchased a box of pigeons which she had proceeded to suck dry in the car - By Seanan Mcguire Malena Market Collecting Birds Car

I'm sorry to go, but its alright. Rivers dry up; tides ebb; the sea goes on. By Seanan Mcguire Alright Rivers Tides Ebb Dry

Um, hello?" I raised a hand. "Not a traitor, and the Queen told us where to find you. Or do you think that we're such major badasses that we fought our way through the knowe to come and loiter at you in an imposing fashion? Because I've got to say I'm flattered. By Seanan Mcguire Queen Hand Traitor Raised Fashion

It wasn't fair to play games with the hearts of people who loved me. And they did love meI had to admit that, or nothing would ever make sense again. By Seanan Mcguire Fair Play Games Hearts People

No [Peter] Pan has ever survived past puberty. When their bodies start changing, they start looking for the rope and the razor blades. There are some betrayals of the flesh that they simply aren't designed to endure. By Seanan Mcguire Peter Pan Puberty Survived Past

The family stayed put for a few years, largely due to issues involving a contract with a demon, an open dimensional rift, and preschool, By Seanan Mcguire Years Largely Demon Rift Preschool

Now, if you will excuse me, a dead woman is trying to convince me to drink something that comes in layers. By Seanan Mcguire Layers Excuse Dead Woman Convince

All's well that ends with only minor lacerations. By Seanan Mcguire Lacerations Ends Minor

We've much to do, and time does insist on being linear here, because it's awful. By Seanan Mcguire Awful Time Insist Linear

Nudity. "Hello," she said. "Have you heard the good word of Wadjet, Protector of Egypt and great snake of the Milky Way? By Seanan Mcguire Nudity Wadjet Protector Egypt Milky

When you're late in a fairy tale, people wind up dead. And not true-love's-kiss, glass-coffin-nap-time dead. Really dead, the kind of dead you don't recover from. By Seanan Mcguire Dead Tale People Late Fairy

Be sure you include a gift card for Tim Hortons," he said. "That's how we say 'sorry for killing your firstborn son' in Canada. By Seanan Mcguire Hortons Tim Canada Include Gift

When you decide to be the immovable object standing in front of the unstoppable force, you'd better pray that you're right about being immovable, and they're wrong about being unstoppable.' 'Otherwise, you'll wind up like a bug on a windshield. By Seanan Mcguire Immovable Unstoppable Force Decide Object

Some adventures begin easily. It is not hard, after all, to be sucked up by a tornado or pushed through a particularly porrous mirror; there is no skill involved in being swept away by a great wave or pulled down a rabbit hole. Some adventures require nothing more than a willing heart and the ability to trip over the cracks in the world.Other adventures must be committed to before they have even properly begun. How else will they know the worthy from the unworthy, if they do not require a certain amount of effort on the part of the ones who would undertake them? Some adventures are cruel, because it is the only way they know to be kind. By Seanan Mcguire Adventures Easily Begin Require Hard

Jan built herself an ivory tower to keep the wolves out; she never dreamed they were already inside. By Seanan Mcguire Jan Inside Built Ivory Tower

Sloane only hesitated for a second before wheeling it over to park next to Henry, propping Jeff's head on the pale woman's shoulder. "There - you're finally sleeping together," she said, a gallows grin on her face. By Seanan Mcguire Henry Jeff Sloane Propping Shoulder

Why did you put spaghetti sauce into your cousin's drink?" "Because I like it that way," said Sarah, taking the glass. "You have your chemical stimulants and I have mine, monkey. By Seanan Mcguire Drink Sarah Put Spaghetti Sauce

That's all childhood is, after all: strong arms to hold back the dark, a story to keep the shadows dancing, and a candle to mark the long journey into day. By Seanan Mcguire Strong Dark Dancing Day Childhood

Quentin Sollys: the Once and Future King of Spiders. By Seanan Mcguire Sollys Spiders Future King Quentin

Just thinking about how long it's been since I've managed to wind up covered in blood," I said. "It's like a new trend. A blood-free trend. By Seanan Mcguire Blood Trend Thinking Long Managed

Make me, snow-bitch," she said. "Please don't make her," said Andy. "We'll just wind up with two more hours of paperwork if Henry assaults a teammate. By Seanan Mcguire Snowbitch Andy Make Henry Teammate

Huh," I said a moment later. "It's bigger on the inside. By Seanan Mcguire Huh Moment Inside Bigger

Every time I think my family has plumbed the depths of stupidity, somebody goes and finds a goddamn shovel." - Jane Harrington-Price By Seanan Mcguire Stupidity Shovel Jane Time Family

Never bring a weapon too big to double as a dining utensil to the table when dining with friends. By Seanan Mcguire Friends Dining Bring Weapon Big

Hello carnivore,' said the mouse priest. He turned and bowed to Uncle Mike and Dominic. 'Hail to the High Priest of Goddammit Eat Something Already, and to the God of Hard Choices in Dark Places.' Ryan blinked. 'What?' 'It's a mouse thing, just roll with it, you'll be happier that way,' I advised. By Seanan Mcguire Carnivore Priest Dominic Uncle Mike

Nothing lasts forever. That's the tragedy and the miracle of existence - that everything is impermanent. Everything changes. All we can do is make the best of the time we have. And go down shooting, naturally. By Seanan Mcguire Forever Existence Impermanent Naturally Tragedy

How quickly they grow apart, when there is something to be superior about. By Seanan Mcguire Quickly Grow Superior

Thomas? I think I'm going to need a bigger gun. By Seanan Mcguire Thomas Gun Bigger

It gets better. It never gets easy, but it does start to hurt a little less. By Seanan Mcguire Easy Start Hurt

We hated each other so well and loved each other so badly ... By Seanan Mcguire Badly Hated Loved

Sadly, as I had come to learn, sometimes being a pincushion is my purpose in life. By Seanan Mcguire Sadly Learn Life Pincushion Purpose

There are a lot of issues with the three-tens," I said. "First off, a lot of the time, the poor kids who wind up cast as 'princes' get thrown out of second-story windows and permanently maimed. There have been reports of Rapunzels who sunk so deep into their stories that they actually could cure blindness with their tears, but we haven't had one of those in years, and it's not company policy to let unmonitored memetic incursions progress to that level. By Seanan Mcguire Lot Threetens Issues Rapunzels Time

We all make mistakes. Luckily for us, there are very few mistakes that cant be solved with a suitable application of either lipstick or hand grenades - Frances Brown By Seanan Mcguire Frances Brown Mistakes Make Luckily

God, I hate Sleeping Beauties." Why that story, out of all the possible stories, should have the sort of staying power it does is beyond me. Centuries of helpless girls, half of them rotting away years before their Prince could come. It makes me sick. By Seanan Mcguire Beauties God Sleeping Hate Prince

Sure. If she gets mugged, she can just flute them to death. By Seanan Mcguire Mugged Death Flute

I have an aunt who believed strongly that teaching kids that Shakespeare is 'hard' is wrong, so she handed me 'Hamlet' when I was in kindergarten to see what would happen. What happened was I did a book report on 'Hamlet' and caused quite a lot of trouble! By Seanan Mcguire Hamlet Hard Shakespeare Wrong Happen

At least my headache was almost gone. I always deal better with emergencies when I'm not actively in pain. By Seanan Mcguire Headache Pain Deal Emergencies Actively

Any ending where you're still standing on your own feet is a happy one. By Seanan Mcguire Ending Standing Feet Happy

What's the point of holding on if I can't save the ones that I can't afford to lose? By Seanan Mcguire Lose Point Holding Save Afford

It's better to act than it is to react. Acting gets you in trouble. Reacting all too frequently gets you dead. By Seanan Mcguire React Act Acting Trouble Reacting

This isn't a place for lies or pretending everything's all right. We know everything is not all right. If it were, you wouldn't be here. Now. Where did you go? By Seanan Mcguire Place Lies Pretending

No matter how much time we spent together, parts of my world would always be as alien to him as parts of his were to me. That was oddly comforting, and gave me the strength I needed to do what had to be done. "You? By Seanan Mcguire Parts Matter Time Spent World

Change sucks. No one's going to argue about that. Change is hard and painful and sometimes we wind up losing things we wanted to keep forever. By Seanan Mcguire Sucks Change Forever Argue Hard

This isn't an army marching on the Mists. This isn't a case you have to solve. It's just a bunch of nobles coming to puff their chests out at each other an try to look important. Do what I do. Bring popcorn. By Seanan Mcguire Mists Army Marching Solve Important

Try to be careful, okay? You're the only niece I'm actually speaking to these days. I'm not in the mood to see you dead. By Seanan Mcguire Careful Days Dead Niece Speaking

Domestic airplanes are basically designed to keep people seated, settled, and sedated for the duration of flight. If they could, they would install catheters in the seats and strap the people down from takeoff until landing. International flights are a little different, due to the part where sometimes people's veins explode if they sit still in a pressurized cabin for too long. (This may be a small exaggeration - emphasis on "small," not "exaggeration." Deep vein thrombosis is the silent killer of the long-haul flight.) To combat this, international carriers often encourage people to get up, move around, and keep their blood circulating normally. Sure, it means the aisles get a little crowded from time to time, and it makes the TSA nervous, but better that than a bunch of dead passengers. By Seanan Mcguire People Settled Domestic Seated Airplanes

The normally ninety-minute drive from Marin to Muir Woods only took about an hour. By Seanan Mcguire Marin Muir Woods Hour Ninetyminute

It didn't take long to write up our reports, since they mostly consisted of variations on "Rapunzel confirmed downtown, field team dispatched to resolve the incursion; incursion resolved when Agent Winters shouted at it until it agreed to go away. Resolution mechanism not recommended for future incursions." Demi's was even shorter: "Barely made it out of the car. By Seanan Mcguire Rapunzel Agent Winters Reports Downtown

Then I'd been determined to be the best blind foster the world had ever known, following every rule, obeying every protocol, the very model of royal fae youth. Maybe that way, they would send for me. I could go home. By Seanan Mcguire Rule Obeying Protocol Youth Determined

I have a talent for complicating situations, I said. By Seanan Mcguire Situations Talent Complicating

Sometimes ripping away the bandages was what allowed the soul to finally heal. By Seanan Mcguire Heal Ripping Bandages Allowed Soul

Dr. Reynard - not the name that he was born with, but then, how many people can be truly defined by their original names in both childhood and maturity? A truly sensible culture would grant a person a new name with every decade of their life, until age and perspective allowed them to choose the name that would grace their tombstone - closed his door. By Seanan Mcguire Reynard Maturity Born People Defined

She considers pit traps and high explosives the appropriate solution to almost every problem. By Seanan Mcguire Problem Pit Traps High Explosives

I have never wanted to punch a highway in the face as badly as I do right now. By Seanan Mcguire Wanted Punch Highway Face Badly

Because they're the wrong colors, right? Somebody else's rainbow. By Seanan Mcguire Colors Wrong Rainbow

When I was first writing 'Feed' - which was the first book I published as Mira - I talked about it very openly on my blog, on Twitter, that I was writing this book, and it wasn't until after it was sold that I said 'Mira Grant' wrote this book. And the reason there was really purely marketing-based. By Seanan Mcguire Mira Book Feed Twitter Grant

Both sides said, "I don't need you," and both answered, "You'll still stay. By Seanan Mcguire Answered Stay Sides

Faerie: where it's only a little weird to realize that my boyfriend is older than the internal combustion engine. By Seanan Mcguire Faerie Engine Weird Realize Boyfriend

I kissed her like she was my Annabel Lee, and in some ways, in some places in my heart, I think that I'm kissing her still. By Seanan Mcguire Lee Annabel Heart Kissed Places

You know what, honey? You're right. It's time to change my approach. Can you give me one of those nice concussion grenades? By Seanan Mcguire Honey Approach Grenades Time Change

As I try never to argue with death omens. Tybalt By Seanan Mcguire Tybalt Omens Argue Death

Q: There's this talking frog that says he's a prince. What are the repercussions of cooking it for dinner?A: There are none. Make sure you bread the whole frog evenly. By Seanan Mcguire Prince Talking Frog Dinner Make

There were police everywhere, bustling back and forth, murmuring in the barely audible whisper used only by cops and children. There are more similarities between the two than you might think, starting with whether or not you'd want them waiting for you in a dark alley with a gun. I've worked with the police, and I've even liked some of them, but that doesn't mean I have to like them as a breed. Power brings out the worst in almost everyone. By Seanan Mcguire Bustling Murmuring Children Back Barely

If I were to make a list of shit that is so clearly a terrible idea that I shouldn't have to explain to people why I'm not going to do it, walking into the hedge maze behind a mansion full of dead bodies would have been right up there. Not top 5 maybe, but high enough that I wouldn't have expected people to make me do it. By Seanan Mcguire Make Walking People List Shit

This thing wants to spread, Henry. It wants to get bad enough - " " - to attract a Prince," I finished grimly. "Some opportunistic son of a bitch out to nail a Princess for the sake of a payoff. I hate Princes. The goddamn things are worse than rats. By Seanan Mcguire Henry Spread Prince Princes Princess

I've always found profanity to be a lot like bacon," said Ciara. "It works wonders on the flavor of your speech, but it lacks impact when used excessively. By Seanan Mcguire Ciara Bacon Found Profanity Lot

Let's go commit senseless acts of science. By Seanan Mcguire Science Commit Senseless Acts

Let's go commit some senseless acts of science. By Seanan Mcguire Science Commit Senseless Acts

Real' is a four-letter word, and I'll thank you to use it as little as possible while you live under my roof. By Seanan Mcguire Real Word Roof Fourletter Live

I am a zombie fan, but all of the zombie stories I've enjoyed started when the dead rose and ended three days later with everybody looking exhausted. I was thinking, 'What happens in 20 years?' By Seanan Mcguire Zombie Fan Exhausted Stories Enjoyed

I think the rules where different there. It was all about science, but the science was magical. It didn't care about whether something could be done. It was about whether it should be done, and the answer was always, always yes. By Seanan Mcguire Rules Science Magical Care Answer

It's not hard to marginalize people when they've already done it to themselves. By Seanan Mcguire Hard Marginalize People

There are worlds built on rainbows and worlds built on rain. There are worlds of pure mathematics, where every number chimes like crystal as it rolls into reality. There are worlds of light and worlds of darkness, worlds of rhyme and worlds of reason, and worlds where the only thing that matters is the goodness in a hero's heart. By Seanan Mcguire Worlds Built Rain Rainbows Mathematics

I am older than you can dream, child. All things are easy to me."Actually, I doubt that," I said. When there's nowhere left to run, take refuge in cockiness. "I dream some pretty old dreams. By Seanan Mcguire Child Older Dream Things Easy

Children's games are stronger than you remember once you've grown up and left them behind. They're always fair, and never kind. By Seanan Mcguire Children Games Stronger Remember Grown

I was born and raise din San Francisco, which explains my willingness to stay in a city that's historically been full of people who insist on trying to kill me at the slightest provocation. By Seanan Mcguire Francisco San Provocation Born Raise

That was sort of like being in someone else's nightmare, only no one was naked and there were no lobsters on the walls. By Seanan Mcguire Nightmare Walls Sort Naked Lobsters

If people wanted to talk to me from a million miles away, that was their problem, not mine. By Seanan Mcguire Problem Mine People Wanted Talk

Do we have to have the 'don't lie to the telepath' talk again? It won't take long. I say 'don't lie to the telepath, it never works,' you glare at me, and then you go find something you can hit. By Seanan Mcguire Telepath Talk Lie Long Works

Grandma Alice insists he's alive, and my mother raised me never to contradict anyone who regularly carries grenades). By Seanan Mcguire Alice Grandma Alive Grenades Insists

Well, that's not something you see every day. Go tell your father that Grandma needs the grenades. By Seanan Mcguire Day Grandma Grenades Father

My dear October, we are bound by an enchanted rose made from the hair of a Duchess, and my blood is covering your hand. You can learn anything you wish to know about me merely by licking you fingers." Tybalt laughed a little. "Yes, you may ask me a question. By Seanan Mcguire October Duchess Hand Dear Bound

It's funny how people can change your life without meaning to. Even the fucked-up, crazy people leave everything different when they go away. By Seanan Mcguire People Funny Change Life Meaning

That's basically the cherry on top of this week's sundae of suck. By Seanan Mcguire Suck Basically Cherry Top Week

Most of the neighbors hated us in an offhand sort of manner, since we had twice the space they did, plus a parking area and a small yard - all things virtually unheard of in modern-day San Francisco. I was sure they'd change their minds if they knew how much I'd bled to earn that house. Or maybe not. Reserved parking is hard to come by in this city. By Seanan Mcguire Francisco San Manner Yard Neighbors

Me and Death have an agreement, asshole," I said. "He doesn't mess with me, and I don't tear his skeleton nuts off. By Seanan Mcguire Asshole Death Agreement Mess Tear

Every inch of ground on this planet is a palimpsest, scraped clean and overwritten a million times, leaving behind just as many ghosts. By Seanan Mcguire Palimpsest Scraped Times Leaving Ghosts

Glanced to me. I shrugged. "He always talks like this. You sort of learn to put up with it or turn the volume up on the TV." "As you can see, his disrespect for me, a King of Cats, is also a credit to your house," said Tybalt, not missing a beat. By Seanan Mcguire Glanced Cats Tybalt Shrugged King

I've always thought of joggers as being sort of like Blind Michael and his crew: deserving of respect, but slightly psychotic. Who in their right minds would want to get out of bed and run around in their underwear before noon? By Seanan Mcguire Blind Michael Crew Deserving Respect

Grandma married him because he was the first man she'd ever met who wasn't affected by her telepathy. This is the sort of thing that Internet dating sites never have a field for. By Seanan Mcguire Grandma Telepathy Married Man Met

And sing along for a few bars before changing it again. By the time we reached the darkened facade of La Maison, I was starting to wonder whether there were any Snow White variants that included killing the Wicked Queen for being too annoying to be allowed to live. By Seanan Mcguire Sing Bars Changing Maison Snow

Not that we'd had much opportunity for casual conversation - all our conversations so far had been focused on killing each other, killing something else, or trying not to get ourselves or anybody else killed. By Seanan Mcguire Killed Killing Opportunity Casual Focused

Where did you find the whipped cream?" he asked. "You had milk, I had science," said Jack. "It's amazing how much of culinary achievement can be summarized by that sentence. Cheese making, for example. The perfect intersection of milk, science, and foolish disregard for the laws of nature. By Seanan Mcguire Cream Asked Jack Find Whipped

Don't let anyone tell you, ever, that this is a zero-sum game. Your genius does not threaten me. It delights and inspires me. By Seanan Mcguire Game Zerosum Genius Threaten Delights

Life as the chosen religious figure for a colony of cryptid mice can be a lot of things, but it's definitely never boring. By Seanan Mcguire Life Things Boring Chosen Religious

(Sheep are some of the nastiest creatures in the world. They're smelly, stupid things that have been bred to have way too much hair, meaning that all their bodily fluids and drippings get felted right into the wool. If not for bleach, we'd all walk around covered in sheep shit all the time. Agriculture is not a pretty thing.) By Seanan Mcguire World Sheep Nastiest Creatures Smelly

You're nobody's doorway but your own, and the only one who gets to tell you how your story ends is you. By Seanan Mcguire Doorway Story Ends

Most cats don't like water, and despite her pretensions of tigerhood, Julie was no different. Yes, tigers have stripes; so do tabbies. If you want to know the difference, try tossing one of each into your swimming pool. Then I would recommend running. By Seanan Mcguire