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The New Right: kiss the bankers and spank the babies. By Mason Cooley Kiss Babies Bankers Spank

The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances. By Mason Cooley Circumstances Bathroom Scale Extenuating

The more powerless people are, the longer they are kept waiting. By Mason Cooley Waiting Powerless People Longer

The trouble with the young people today is that it is they who are young. By Mason Cooley Young Trouble People Today

Even in writing an annual report, the unconscious plays a role. By Mason Cooley Report Role Writing Annual Unconscious

Falling in love is the right adventure for those who dislike sports and travel. By Mason Cooley Falling Travel Love Adventure Dislike

I tried good taste, but the strain was too much for me. By Mason Cooley Taste Good Strain

Young poets bewail the passing of love; old poets, the passing of time. There is surprisingly little difference. By Mason Cooley Passing Young Love Time Poets

Vice is a dreary business. And virtue is not a lot of fun, either. By Mason Cooley Vice Business Dreary Fun Virtue

The madness of love can always be suspendedto cook dinner or catch a plane, for instance. By Mason Cooley Plane Instance Madness Love Suspendedto

Unhappiness is too common to call for special measures. By Mason Cooley Unhappiness Measures Common Call Special

The routines of tourism are even more monotonous than those of daily life. By Mason Cooley Life Routines Tourism Monotonous Daily

Ironic and jittery, we are puzzled by the old heroes with their fighting, boasting, and cocksure lovemaking. By Mason Cooley Boasting Ironic Jittery Fighting Lovemaking

Proverbial wisdom counsels against risk and change. But sitting ducks fare worst of all. By Mason Cooley Proverbial Change Wisdom Counsels Risk

One who can find lemons sweet and grapes sour is ready for Dame Fortune. By Mason Cooley Fortune Dame Find Lemons Sweet

Old photograph: amid the set poses of her family, a young girl smiles and raises her hand a little. By Mason Cooley Photograph Amid Family Set Poses

Aphorisms may equivocate, but they must not wobble. By Mason Cooley Aphorisms Equivocate Wobble

Great talkers are trying to fill the gap between themselves and others, but only widen it. By Mason Cooley Great Talkers Fill Gap Widen

Great talkers do not stop for breath, and never look at the clock. By Mason Cooley Great Breath Clock Talkers Stop

The little suckings and smackings of the perversions are the sounds of joyous infancy. By Mason Cooley Infancy Suckings Smackings Perversions Sounds

A dense undergrowth of extension cords sustains my upper world of lights, music, and machines of comfort. By Mason Cooley Music Lights Comfort Dense Undergrowth

A quick smile is more seductive than a slinky dress. By Mason Cooley Dress Quick Smile Seductive Slinky

Early every morning an old woman goes to the market to curse a grocery clerk, who curses back. By Mason Cooley Early Clerk Back Morning Woman

An old man drinks tea and reads the newspaperforgetting age for a moment. By Mason Cooley Moment Man Drinks Tea Reads

Home again, I can groan, scratch, and talk to myself. By Mason Cooley Scratch Home Groan Talk

Nothing is more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings. By Mason Cooley Shortcomings Cheerful Talking Friends

I want to appear ordinary, but I have it understood that I am not. By Mason Cooley Ordinary Understood

The beginning of self-knowledge: recognizing that your motives are the same as other people's. By Mason Cooley Selfknowledge Recognizing People Beginning Motives

I seldom remember my father, but I sneeze and rub my nose the way he did. I also love my son with grief and anger, as he did. By Mason Cooley Father Seldom Remember Sneeze Rub

Literary tradition is full of lies about poverty-the jolly beggar, the poor but happy milkmaid, the wholesome diet of porridge, etc. By Mason Cooley Literary Beggar Milkmaid Porridge Tradition

Lack of reciprocity ruins friendships, but makes love affairs exciting for a time. By Mason Cooley Lack Friendships Time Reciprocity Ruins

I dream of summing everything up in the greatest sentence ever written. By Mason Cooley Written Dream Summing Greatest Sentence

The supposed unhappiness of the rich is always a cheerful topic of conversation. By Mason Cooley Conversation Supposed Unhappiness Rich Cheerful

Music dissolves the straight and narrow. By Mason Cooley Music Narrow Dissolves Straight

The pointless ferocities of intellectual life shock businessmen, who kill only to eat. By Mason Cooley Businessmen Eat Pointless Ferocities Intellectual

The party out of office becomes the articulate one. By Mason Cooley Party Office Articulate

Sexual boredom is ousting sexual deviance as the problem. By Mason Cooley Problem Sexual Boredom Ousting Deviance

Many have attempted unnatural acts, but Nature has always shown the way. By Mason Cooley Nature Acts Attempted Unnatural Shown

Guilt agonizes over trifles, ignores habitual wrongdoing. By Mason Cooley Guilt Trifles Ignores Wrongdoing Agonizes

Without the blessing of cowardice, the world would long since have been torn to bits. By Mason Cooley Cowardice Bits Blessing World Long

When you feel protective toward your parents, you have become an adult. By Mason Cooley Parents Adult Feel Protective

I read less and less. I have not forgiven books for their failure to tell me the truth and make me happy. By Mason Cooley Read Happy Forgiven Books Failure

After ages of bombast, the rhetoric of virtue has become ironic and shy. By Mason Cooley Bombast Shy Ages Rhetoric Virtue

Pornography does not inspire violence, but you can break a leg trying to imitate it. By Mason Cooley Pornography Violence Inspire Break Leg

Blonds look angelic, but can (oh, happy!) be fleshy as well. By Mason Cooley Happy Blonds Angelic Fleshy

Street sign: Ho Hum Road & Easy Street In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. By Mason Cooley Road Easy Street Hum Days

The Insignificance of Man is a congenial theme; my own insignificance is a sore point. By Mason Cooley Insignificance Man Theme Point Congenial

Violence stops thought. Hence its popularity as a pain-killer. By Mason Cooley Violence Thought Stops Painkiller Popularity

In middle age, I practiced feeling old, but the real thing has been a rude surprise. By Mason Cooley Age Surprise Middle Practiced Feeling

In the game of love, the losers are more celebrated than the winners. By Mason Cooley Love Winners Game Losers Celebrated

Striving toward a goal puts a more pleasing construction on our advance toward death. By Mason Cooley Striving Death Goal Puts Pleasing

New York is full of abandoned churches. A Godless city, but full of superstitions on every subjectart, money, sex, food, health. By Mason Cooley York Churches Full Money Sex

Observe decorum, and it will open a path to morality. By Mason Cooley Observe Decorum Morality Open Path

Writing an upbeat aphorism is a temptation, but decorum forbids. By Mason Cooley Writing Temptation Forbids Upbeat Aphorism

Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice. By Mason Cooley Advice Palace Free Good Aphorisms

When my expectations are exactly fulfilled, I feel that something uncanny has happened. By Mason Cooley Fulfilled Happened Expectations Feel Uncanny

A moment of eloquence enthralls us. An hour's worth leaves us stupefied. By Mason Cooley Moment Eloquence Enthralls Stupefied Hour

A laughing Lear would be monstrous. Not so a laughing Romeo and Juliet. By Mason Cooley Lear Monstrous Laughing Juliet Romeo

Death is just around the corner. If only it would stay there. By Mason Cooley Death Corner Stay

An event is not over until everyone is tired of talking about it. By Mason Cooley Event Tired Talking

Pessimists fear becoming the dupes of Hope. Optimists enjoy Hope's company, and consider being duped no great matter. By Mason Cooley Hope Pessimists Fear Dupes Optimists

Unlike life, when books become meaningless, they are making a point. By Mason Cooley Unlike Life Meaningless Point Books

The young are just as opinionated as the old, but have more exciting things to do than sit around airing their opinions all day. By Mason Cooley Day Young Opinionated Exciting Things

The Lady: a fluty voice, sensible shoes, a melancholy sense of living by rules few still remember. By Mason Cooley Lady Voice Shoes Remember Fluty

Every good time that goes on too long turns into a hell. By Mason Cooley Hell Good Time Long Turns

We understand through resemblance. By Mason Cooley Resemblance Understand

A free spirit must be able to surmount anxiety time after time. By Mason Cooley Time Free Spirit Surmount Anxiety

Only the broken-hearted know the truth about love. By Mason Cooley Love Brokenhearted Truth

To avoid taking responsibility, I become unresponsive but hang on until the other person leaves me. By Mason Cooley Responsibility Avoid Taking Unresponsive Hang

Seek and Hide: the Lover gazes at the Beloved. The Beloved looks away. The Beloved turns and looks at the Lover. The Lover runs away. By Mason Cooley Beloved Hide Lover Seek Gazes

Posteritythe forlorn child of nineteenth century optimismgrows ever harder to conceive. By Mason Cooley Posteritythe Conceive Forlorn Child Nineteenth

Few friendships could survive the moodiness of love affairs. By Mason Cooley Affairs Friendships Survive Moodiness Love

Moralists love to discourse on the hollowness of success; about the hollowness of failure they are silent. By Mason Cooley Hollowness Moralists Success Silent Love

In love, self-love is always at risk. By Mason Cooley Love Selflove Risk

Failures are easier to repeat than successes. By Mason Cooley Failures Successes Easier Repeat

Critics are more committed to the rules of art than artists are. By Mason Cooley Critics Committed Rules Art Artists

A skyscraper is a boast in glass and steel. By Mason Cooley Steel Skyscraper Boast Glass

The sage belongs to the same obsolete repertory as the virtuous maiden and the enlightened monarch. By Mason Cooley Monarch Sage Belongs Obsolete Repertory

Stupidity is a fact of life, but unmentionable. The new Prudery. By Mason Cooley Stupidity Life Unmentionable Prudery Fact

Wallace Stevens: the Platonist celebrates endless change, but with regret. By Mason Cooley Stevens Platonist Wallace Change Regret

Never invite to dinner: those who won't decide until the last minute; those who come more than half an hour late; those who want to bring along two or three friends; drunks; monologists; those who stay until three o'clock in the morning; those who think that conversation means having an argument; those who take a high moral tone; those who are stupid, ugly, or dull. Enforcement of these rules will enable one to eat alone every night in comfort. By Mason Cooley Drunks Monologists Ugly Dinner Minute

I have a special grudge against those who have the same faults as I do. By Mason Cooley Special Grudge Faults

In the great cities, winter glitters with art and feasting. But poetry, the country cousin, sees only the dearth of the fields. By Mason Cooley Cities Winter Feasting Great Glitters

Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused. By Mason Cooley Laughing Friends Caused Avenge Disappointment

Alzheimer's usually comes later than AIDS, but I decline to call that progress. By Mason Cooley Aids Alzheimer Progress Decline Call

The great advantage of a new friend is that we have not yet found one another out. By Mason Cooley Great Advantage Friend Found

Jokes are unanswerable objections. By Mason Cooley Jokes Objections Unanswerable

Preserving tradition has become a nice hobby, like stamp collecting. By Mason Cooley Preserving Hobby Collecting Tradition Nice

Most of my decisions in life seem absent-minded but inevitable. By Mason Cooley Inevitable Decisions Life Absentminded

You are so tactful that I have no idea what you want. By Mason Cooley Tactful Idea

The psychiatrist's office: the only place I can be sure my story will be treated as sad, but interesting. By Mason Cooley Office Sad Interesting Psychiatrist Place

Giving out crowns to everyone will not make a nation of kings. By Mason Cooley Giving Kings Crowns Make Nation

Fortuna smiles and frowns according to a timetable surprising even to herself. By Mason Cooley Fortuna Smiles Frowns Timetable Surprising

Profundity often goes past the issue to some deep but useless truth. By Mason Cooley Profundity Truth Past Issue Deep

Comedy is hostile to profundity, and brings everything to the surface. By Mason Cooley Comedy Profundity Surface Hostile Brings

I reject all evidence that my fabulous beloved is an ordinary person who worries, watches TV, and has bouts of indigestion. By Mason Cooley Worries Watches Indigestion Reject Evidence

Respectability is joining chastity in the museum of dead issues. By Mason Cooley Respectability Issues Joining Chastity Museum

Everyone knows that (1) happiness is the goal of life, and (2) happiness is a chimera. By Mason Cooley Happiness Life Chimera Goal

The Media: bold sex and violence, timid politics and morals. By Mason Cooley Media Bold Violence Timid Morals

Fame now wears the halo that once crowned holiness. By Mason Cooley Fame Holiness Wears Halo Crowned

All history and art are against us, but we still expect happiness in love. By Mason Cooley Love History Art Expect Happiness

Friends are sometimes boring, but enemies never. By Mason Cooley Friends Boring Enemies

Lovers never want to say "I love you" at the same moment. Hence all the love stories. By Mason Cooley Lovers Moment Love Stories

Fearful of sentimentality, I disown my tears and melting heart. By Mason Cooley Fearful Sentimentality Heart Disown Tears

I would like to be a figment of my own imagination, but belly and bowels will not permit. By Mason Cooley Imagination Permit Figment Belly Bowels

Learned researches lead to headaches, constipation, and befuddled quarreling. By Mason Cooley Constipation Learned Headaches Quarreling Researches

Like other high subjects, the Law gives no ground to common sense. By Mason Cooley Law Subjects Sense High Ground

The worship of Mammon may be vulgar or immoral, but it persists while other religions falter and disappear. By Mason Cooley Mammon Immoral Disappear Worship Vulgar

Wisdom is founded on memory; happiness on forgetfulness. By Mason Cooley Wisdom Memory Happiness Forgetfulness Founded

Travelling, I worry about luggage, prices, and strange food. At home, I am free to broaden my mind by thinking about the higher things. By Mason Cooley Travelling Prices Luggage Food Worry

The harp is an insipid instrumentno good for dancing, feasting, or marching, only for sitting primly in a parlor or on a cloud. By Mason Cooley Feasting Dancing Marching Cloud Harp

King Kong, Count Dracula, and the Phantom of the Opera are just looking for love, like the rest of us. By Mason Cooley Kong Count Dracula Phantom Opera

Against classical philosophy: thinking about eternity or the immensity of the universe does not lessen my unhappiness. By Mason Cooley Philosophy Thinking Unhappiness Classical Eternity

Fortuna likes to find a crowd and follow it. By Mason Cooley Fortuna Find Crowd Follow

Our public monuments are memorials to the Enlightenment. By Mason Cooley Enlightenment Public Monuments Memorials

I am now old enough to make common cause with my predecessors against my successors. By Mason Cooley Successors Make Common Predecessors

Simplicity is a strict taskmaster. By Mason Cooley Simplicity Taskmaster Strict

Lovers remain in the dark, working hard to keep out daylight. By Mason Cooley Lovers Dark Working Daylight Remain

To be a social success, do not act pathetic, arrogant, or bored. Do not discuss your unhappy childhood, your visit to the dentist,the shortcomings of your cleaning woman, the state of your bowels, or your spouse's bad habits. You will be thought a paragon (or perhaps a monster) of good behavior. By Mason Cooley Arrogant Success Pathetic Bored Social

Beggars remind us that not all miseries arise from our ideas. By Mason Cooley Beggars Ideas Remind Miseries Arise

I gulp down my pleasures, chew over my miseries. By Mason Cooley Pleasures Chew Miseries Gulp

The philosophy of hedonism means little to lovers of pleasure. They have no inclination to read philosophy, or to write it. By Mason Cooley Pleasure Philosophy Hedonism Lovers Inclination

Deconstruction: peering suspiciously at the text, I wait for it to make a slip and betray itself. By Mason Cooley Deconstruction Peering Text Suspiciously Wait

Attachments and bereavements are inseparable. By Mason Cooley Attachments Inseparable Bereavements

Swindlers are notoriously gullible. By Mason Cooley Swindlers Gullible Notoriously

Lust and greed are more gullible than innocence. By Mason Cooley Lust Innocence Greed Gullible

If I play hard to get, soon the phone stops ringing altogether. By Mason Cooley Altogether Play Hard Phone Stops

Keep your lies short and simple. By Mason Cooley Simple Lies Short

As every cockroach knows, thriving on poisons is the secret of success. By Mason Cooley Thriving Success Cockroach Poisons Secret

The tragic hero prefers death to prudence. The comedian prefers playing tricks to winning. Only the villain really plays to win. By Mason Cooley Prudence Prefers Tragic Hero Death

To win hearts, smile kindly on people's weaknesses. By Mason Cooley Hearts Smile Weaknesses Win Kindly

Some subjects come up suddenly in our speech and cannot be silenced. By Mason Cooley Silenced Subjects Suddenly Speech

History takes place between the Fall and the Apocalypse, with a narrow escape route called Salvation. By Mason Cooley Apocalypse Salvation Fall History Place

Vanity is easily duped. Ambition, not. By Mason Cooley Ambition Vanity Duped Easily

I do not regret the folly of my youth, but the timidity. By Mason Cooley Youth Timidity Regret Folly

Looking backward at what has been lost, I feel sad, then indifferent, and at last relieved. By Mason Cooley Lost Sad Indifferent Relieved Backward

As I review my life, I feel I must have missed the point, either then or now. By Mason Cooley Life Point Review Feel Missed

Now defined as art, the totem has lost cult, taboo, and custom. By Mason Cooley Taboo Art Cult Custom Defined

Money: power at its most liquid. By Mason Cooley Money Power Liquid

To appear well dressed, be skinny and tall. By Mason Cooley Dressed Tall Skinny

Sentimentality is the respect the cold-hearted pay to feeling. By Mason Cooley Sentimentality Feeling Respect Coldhearted Pay

Mars and Venus are at it again. This time, Hephaestus is standing by with a private detective, a photographer, and a lawyer. By Mason Cooley Venus Mars Hephaestus Time Detective

An illicit love affair seems sweetly old-fashioned in the age of one night stands and orgies. By Mason Cooley Orgies Illicit Love Affair Sweetly

The self-righteous feel no need to be charming, and thus double their offensiveness. By Mason Cooley Charming Offensiveness Selfrighteous Feel Double

My father was a patriarch inside a matriarchy, but never knew it. By Mason Cooley Matriarchy Father Patriarch Inside Knew

Plato's Symposium shows that flirtation and philosophy can further one another. By Mason Cooley Symposium Plato Shows Flirtation Philosophy

A fastidious taste is best indoors, away from nature and the city. By Mason Cooley Indoors City Fastidious Taste Nature

The lion cares less about being king of the beasts than about finding his dinner. By Mason Cooley Dinner Lion Cares King Beasts

Smooth white skin invites something that will leave a trace, a kiss or a slap. By Mason Cooley Smooth Trace Slap White Skin

The popping of bubblegum discourages the most determined lecher. By Mason Cooley Lecher Popping Bubblegum Discourages Determined

Regretting the past does not prevent me from repeating it. By Mason Cooley Regretting Past Prevent Repeating

Experience is a great spoiler of pleasures. By Mason Cooley Experience Pleasures Great Spoiler

Conscious thought is the tidying up at the end. By Mason Cooley Conscious End Thought Tidying

Vanity well fed is benevolent. Vanity hungry is spiteful. By Mason Cooley Vanity Benevolent Fed Spiteful Hungry

Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference. By Mason Cooley Withhold Disliked Admiration Narcissist Give

Hope, and hopelessness, persist despite the facts. By Mason Cooley Hope Hopelessness Persist Facts

Never try to leap from a standstill. By Mason Cooley Standstill Leap

Our punning minds rejoin what logic has separated. By Mason Cooley Separated Punning Minds Rejoin Logic

Astrology: do we make a hullabaloo among the stars, or do they make a hullabaloo down here? By Mason Cooley Astrology Make Hullabaloo Stars

When lying to someone, look him straight in the eye. By Mason Cooley Eye Lying Straight

Boredom and fear keep us working and obeying the laws. By Mason Cooley Boredom Laws Fear Working Obeying

Travelers never think that they are the foreigners. By Mason Cooley Travelers Foreigners

When poets go off the boil, they sound like bumble bees; when critics do, they sound like sewing machines. By Mason Cooley Sound Boil Bees Machines Poets

Glamour looks eloquent but seldom talks. By Mason Cooley Glamour Talks Eloquent Seldom

Commerce is greedy. Ideology is blood-thirsty. By Mason Cooley Commerce Greedy Ideology Bloodthirsty

Political correctness is driving machismo underground and recalling effeminacy from exile. By Mason Cooley Political Exile Correctness Driving Machismo

The young have stolen our youthfulness, and flaunt it without shame. By Mason Cooley Youthfulness Shame Young Stolen Flaunt

The desire to be significant casts a pall. By Mason Cooley Pall Desire Significant Casts

An ardent lover often makes a cold friend. By Mason Cooley Friend Ardent Lover Makes Cold

Every declaration of love contains an unstated list of exceptions and demands. By Mason Cooley Demands Declaration Love Unstated List

Expensive advertising courts us with hints and images. The ordinary kind merely says, Buy. By Mason Cooley Buy Expensive Images Advertising Courts

With age, comfort becomes more seductive than beauty. By Mason Cooley Age Comfort Beauty Seductive

The children of childish parents age quickly. By Mason Cooley Quickly Children Childish Parents Age

Few artists can afford artistic temperament. By Mason Cooley Temperament Artists Afford Artistic

The family is on its way out; couples go next; then no more keeping cats or parrots. By Mason Cooley Couples Parrots Family Keeping Cats

Sacred texts always offend reason. By Mason Cooley Sacred Reason Texts Offend

Laughter and tears may not persuade, but they cannot be refuted. By Mason Cooley Laughter Persuade Refuted Tears

When Medusa looks in the mirror, she sees the Lady of Sorrows. By Mason Cooley Sorrows Medusa Lady Mirror

Most bad luck is the misfortune of not being an exception. By Mason Cooley Exception Bad Luck Misfortune

Bad faith likes discourse on friendship and loyalty. By Mason Cooley Bad Loyalty Faith Discourse Friendship

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. By Mason Cooley Wisdom Ideas Suffering Brought Dentist

In the museums, everything is in quotation marks. By Mason Cooley Museums Marks Quotation

The world needs an enema. By Mason Cooley Enema World

The Ancient Mariner seizes the guest at the wedding feast and will not let go until he has told all his story: the prototype of the bore. By Mason Cooley Ancient Mariner Story Bore Seizes

Staid middle age loves the hurricane passions of opera. By Mason Cooley Staid Opera Middle Age Loves

Courage, determination, and hard work are all very nice, but not so nice as an oil well in the back yard. By Mason Cooley Courage Determination Yard Nice Hard

When love and adventure are finished, it's nice to have getting and spending to fall back on. By Mason Cooley Finished Love Adventure Nice Spending

Without a little negligence, life would be intolerable. By Mason Cooley Negligence Life Intolerable

The irrational may be attractive in the abstract, but not in cab drives, dinner guests, or elderly relatives. By Mason Cooley Abstract Drives Dinner Guests Relatives

Great men wait for the right moment to abandon caution. The rest of us abandon it when impatience becomes too much for us. By Mason Cooley Great Caution Abandon Men Wait

Three people marooned on a desert island would soon reinvent politics. By Mason Cooley Politics People Marooned Desert Island

The haiku lets meaning float; the aphorism pins it down. By Mason Cooley Float Haiku Meaning Aphorism Pins

Loneliness is more likely to lead to fussy housekeeping than to grand views of the Universe. By Mason Cooley Universe Loneliness Lead Fussy Housekeeping

Most people see no reason to stop arguing just because an issue has been decided. By Mason Cooley Decided People Reason Stop Arguing

Nobody likes to offer stupidity as an excuse. By Mason Cooley Excuse Offer Stupidity

The same old thingeven if it's champagneis still the same old thing. By Mason Cooley Thing Thingeven Champagneis

Like other secret lovers, many speak mockingly about popular culture to conceal their passion for it. By Mason Cooley Lovers Secret Speak Mockingly Popular

Health foods make promises that only the Second Coming could fulfill. By Mason Cooley Coming Health Fulfill Foods Make

As equality increases, so does the number of people struggling for predominance. By Mason Cooley Increases Predominance Equality Number People

Dreams are distorted representations of desire. So are dream- analyses. By Mason Cooley Desire Analyses Distorted Representations Dreams

Never trust the judgment of an enthusiastic man; never trust the promises of a lazy one. By Mason Cooley Trust Man Judgment Enthusiastic Promises

Something is sticking out its tongue at me from the corner of my mirror. By Mason Cooley Mirror Sticking Tongue Corner

Children now expect their parents to audition for approval. By Mason Cooley Children Approval Expect Parents Audition

Drunks conjure an endless drama from their bottles. By Mason Cooley Drunks Bottles Conjure Endless Drama

There is a line between a definite maybe and an indefinite yes. By Mason Cooley Line Definite Indefinite

The Olympian gods cannot have grand passions because they cannot die. By Mason Cooley Olympian Die Gods Grand Passions

If modesty disappeared, so would exhibitionism. By Mason Cooley Disappeared Exhibitionism Modesty

If you belong to the underclass, you are already guilty. By Mason Cooley Underclass Guilty Belong

Like love, grief fades in and out. By Mason Cooley Love Grief Fades

Thoughts can be revised. Deeds cannot. By Mason Cooley Thoughts Revised Deeds

Bored by safety, the lover grows jealous and exacting. By Mason Cooley Bored Safety Exacting Lover Grows

Even a cow creates ambiguous signifiers. The moo of mystery. By Mason Cooley Signifiers Cow Creates Ambiguous Mystery

The flesh of past lovers looks both familiar and strange. By Mason Cooley Strange Flesh Past Lovers Familiar

Out of power, Marxism can develop critical intelligence; in power, it quickly becomes stupid. By Mason Cooley Marxism Power Intelligence Stupid Develop

In the labyrinth of a difficult text, we find unmarked forks in the path, detours, blind alleys, loops that deliver us back to our point of entry, and finally the monster who whispers an unintelligible truth in our ears. By Mason Cooley Detours Text Path Blind Alleys

Moo may represent an idea, but only the cow knows. By Mason Cooley Moo Idea Represent Cow

A frog in love would not be enchanted to learn that her beloved had turned into Prince Charming. By Mason Cooley Charming Prince Frog Love Enchanted

Infallibility and invincible ignorance are the same thing. By Mason Cooley Infallibility Thing Invincible Ignorance

Warning: fortune cookies don't care what happens to you. By Mason Cooley Warning Fortune Cookies Care

Conformity makes everything easier, if you can still breathe. By Mason Cooley Conformity Easier Breathe Makes

Electricity, water, gas, and steam course through the walls of my building, keeping it alive. By Mason Cooley Electricity Water Gas Building Keeping

I win on my merits; my opponents win by cheating. By Mason Cooley Merits Cheating Win Opponents

Seeing my malevolent face in the mirror, my benevolent soul shrinks back. By Mason Cooley Mirror Back Malevolent Face Benevolent

Inevitably, almost everything we say is either quotation or paraphrase. By Mason Cooley Inevitably Paraphrase Quotation

Love Songs Now: Fewer broken hearts, more sexual misery. By Mason Cooley Fewer Songs Love Hearts Misery

Either offer me something I really like, or stop trying to tempt me. By Mason Cooley Offer Stop Tempt

The lazy manage to keep up with the earth's rotation just as well as the industrious. By Mason Cooley Industrious Lazy Manage Earth Rotation

When I prayed for success, I forgot to ask for sound sleep and good digestion. By Mason Cooley Success Digestion Prayed Forgot Sound

Sometimes I discover I have changed my mind because I have forgotten what I used to think. By Mason Cooley Discover Changed Mind Forgotten

Wisdom has lost repute because it so often applies to a state of affairs that no longer exists. By Mason Cooley Wisdom Exists Lost Repute Applies

Artistic inspiration ignores the law of supply and demand. By Mason Cooley Artistic Demand Inspiration Ignores Law

To love a fool is a misfortune, but does not make one a fool. By Mason Cooley Fool Misfortune Love Make

Pedagogical romances leave the mentor disgruntled, the pupil confused. By Mason Cooley Pedagogical Disgruntled Confused Romances Leave

Natural Man, in our current version, is a disgruntled adolescent. By Mason Cooley Man Natural Version Adolescent Current

I regret. I apologize. I blame myself. I continue as before. By Mason Cooley Regret Apologize Blame Continue

Our civilization is shifting from science and technology to rhetoric and litigation. By Mason Cooley Litigation Civilization Shifting Science Technology

The writer is always courted by invitations from the all-too- familiar. By Mason Cooley Familiar Alltoo Writer Courted Invitations

Scholars dream of finding small facts pregnant with great progeny. By Mason Cooley Scholars Progeny Dream Finding Small

Flattery has to overcome my mistrust, and it does. By Mason Cooley Flattery Mistrust Overcome

As an elder I mistrust the wisdom of age. By Mason Cooley Age Elder Mistrust Wisdom

Scepticism is always a back road leading to some credo or other. By Mason Cooley Scepticism Back Road Leading Credo

Conscience is the moralized form of self-absorption. By Mason Cooley Conscience Selfabsorption Moralized Form

Self-absorption intensifies isolation, but permits it to go unnoticed. By Mason Cooley Selfabsorption Isolation Unnoticed Intensifies Permits

My self-absorption warms me; yours boils me. By Mason Cooley Selfabsorption Warms Boils

Lonely people console themselves with self-absorption or curiosity. By Mason Cooley Lonely Curiosity People Console Selfabsorption

Babies and the old are permitted self-absorption. In between, it provokes resentment. By Mason Cooley Babies Selfabsorption Permitted Resentment Provokes

Faith no doubt moves mountains, but not necessarily to where we want them. By Mason Cooley Faith Mountains Doubt Moves Necessarily

My mentors grow old and foolish. I am afraid. By Mason Cooley Foolish Mentors Grow Afraid

I do not remember joy or sorrow in childhood, but listening for clues. By Mason Cooley Childhood Clues Remember Joy Sorrow

'Be faithful to your roots' is the liberal version of 'Stay in your ghetto.' By Mason Cooley Stay Ghetto Faithful Roots Liberal

Comedy distances pain, but leaves signs of it everywhere. By Mason Cooley Comedy Pain Distances Leaves Signs

A critic who uses new quotations is making important changes. By Mason Cooley Critic Quotations Making Important

When love ends, we cry out against destiny. When friendship ends, we cry out against our friend. By Mason Cooley Ends Cry Destiny Love Friend

Boredom strives to detach, but finds itself stuck. By Mason Cooley Boredom Detach Stuck Strives Finds

The limitations of pleasure cannot be overcome by more pleasure. By Mason Cooley Pleasure Limitations Overcome

Beauty and virtue: the most kissable ass in the world is no guarantee of good intentions. By Mason Cooley Beauty Virtue Intentions Kissable Ass

Charity does not like arithmetic; selfishness worships it. By Mason Cooley Charity Arithmetic Selfishness Worships

Mild brown eyes beckon me to the past, but memory provides no clue. By Mason Cooley Mild Past Clue Brown Eyes

Reason is sight. Instinct is touch. Intuition is smell. By Mason Cooley Reason Sight Instinct Touch Intuition

Not even self-love can always be counted on for support. By Mason Cooley Support Selflove Counted

When I am bored with myself, I try to find someone to listen to me. By Mason Cooley Bored Find Listen

Irony dissolves sentiment, but occasionally a sentiment is strong enough to dissolve irony. By Mason Cooley Irony Sentiment Occasionally Strong Dissolves

As a youth, I sought out decadence; as an elder, I try to avoid decay. By Mason Cooley Youth Decadence Elder Decay Sought

Paradise endangered: garden snakes and mice are appearing in the shadowy corners of Dutch Old Master paintings. By Mason Cooley Dutch Master Paradise Endangered Garden

My parents wanted me to solace them for sorrows they denied having had. By Mason Cooley Parents Wanted Solace Sorrows Denied

An insult angers me. Being ignored crushes me. By Mason Cooley Insult Angers Crushes

I deplore my shortcomings, but plan to keep them. By Mason Cooley Shortcomings Deplore Plan

Boredom, not the will, is the mother of change. Necessity is the father. By Mason Cooley Boredom Change Mother Necessity Father

Talk about yourself as much as you like, but do not expect others to listen. By Mason Cooley Talk Listen Expect

Imprudence relies on luck, prudence on method. That gives prudence less edge than it expects. By Mason Cooley Imprudence Luck Method Prudence Relies

Imprudence gets us into more trouble than actual misdeeds do. By Mason Cooley Imprudence Trouble Actual Misdeeds

I am the center of the world, but the control panel seems to be somewhere else. By Mason Cooley World Center Control Panel

Rescue someone unwilling to look after himself, and he will cling to you like a dangerous illness. By Mason Cooley Rescue Illness Unwilling Cling Dangerous

Women encourage men to be childish, then scold them. By Mason Cooley Women Childish Encourage Men Scold

Cruel impulses stir all about my kindly heart. By Mason Cooley Cruel Heart Impulses Stir Kindly

The chair as ideas fits only the bottom as idea. By Mason Cooley Chair Fits Bottom Ideas Idea

Love sorrows are addictive as other sorrows are not. By Mason Cooley Sorrows Love Addictive

The idealist regards facts as provisional. By Mason Cooley Provisional Idealist Facts

Intelligence in isolation turns to aimless marauding. By Mason Cooley Intelligence Marauding Isolation Turns Aimless

I am too impatient to wait for temptation to come to me. By Mason Cooley Impatient Wait Temptation

When courtesy fails, be nasty, brutish, and short. By Mason Cooley Brutish Fails Nasty Short Courtesy

Self-realization is a comedown from salvation, but still gives us something to hope for. By Mason Cooley Selfrealization Salvation Comedown Hope

City people make most of the fuss about the charms of country life. By Mason Cooley City Life People Make Fuss

To Jane Austen, every fool is a treasure trove. By Mason Cooley Austen Jane Trove Fool Treasure

The truth usually has a slightly ugly look. By Mason Cooley Truth Slightly Ugly

Good parties create a temporary youthfulness. By Mason Cooley Good Youthfulness Parties Create Temporary

People often are unsure whether or not they are in love, but they generally know whether or not they are having sex. By Mason Cooley People Love Sex Unsure Generally

In describing someone's character, I reveal my own. By Mason Cooley Character Describing Reveal

Which is the supplement? Fantasy or daily routine? By Mason Cooley Supplement Fantasy Routine Daily

Self-conscious? Try a wig, a corset, a veil, a beard. Or cultivate shamelessness. By Mason Cooley Selfconscious Wig Corset Veil Beard

Manly men and womanly women are still here but feeling nervous. By Mason Cooley Manly Nervous Men Womanly Women

The muse is blind as Cupid and skittish as Diana. By Mason Cooley Diana Cupid Muse Blind Skittish

Think of the many different relations of form and content. E.g., the many pairs of trousers and what's in them. By Mason Cooley Content Relations Form Pairs Trousers

Sleaze is a point by point refutation of elegance. By Mason Cooley Sleaze Elegance Point Refutation

Undecidability is a useful category even in dealing with restaurant menus. By Mason Cooley Undecidability Menus Category Dealing Restaurant

No use saying necessity is making a mistake. By Mason Cooley Mistake Necessity Making

It's no good being exclusive if nobody wants in. By Mason Cooley Good Exclusive

In New York, pretending to be above the struggle means no seat on the bus and a table next to the kitchen. By Mason Cooley York Pretending Kitchen Struggle Seat

To succeed, find the right rut and stay with it. By Mason Cooley Succeed Find Rut Stay

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it. By Mason Cooley Cats Inquisitive Hate Admit

Ladies and gentlemen are supposed to be looked after by others, like children and pets. By Mason Cooley Ladies Pets Gentlemen Supposed Looked

Don Juan tries not to see the skeptical winks that greet his boasting. By Mason Cooley Juan Don Boasting Skeptical Winks

Why is it forbidden in New York to acknowledge the charm and beauty of Los Angeles? By Mason Cooley Angeles York Los Forbidden Acknowledge

Promiscuity is like never reading past the first page. Monogamy is like reading the same book over and over. By Mason Cooley Promiscuity Page Reading Past Monogamy

The Muses inspire art and pretend not to notice when Mammon buys it. By Mason Cooley Muses Mammon Inspire Art Pretend

The critical spirit never knows when to stop meddling. By Mason Cooley Meddling Critical Spirit Stop

Retirement requires the invention of a new hedonism, not a return to the hedonism of youth By Mason Cooley Retirement Youth Hedonism Requires Invention

Revenge is sweet but not nourishing. By Mason Cooley Revenge Nourishing Sweet

My passions have never jumped out of the fireplace and set fire to the carpet. By Mason Cooley Carpet Passions Jumped Fireplace Set

I am plain-speaking out of both sides of my mouth. By Mason Cooley Mouth Plainspeaking Sides

A Museum of fetishes would give special attention to the history of underwear. By Mason Cooley Museum Underwear Fetishes Give Special

Habit keeps my life going, with occasional pushes from desire. By Mason Cooley Habit Desire Life Occasional Pushes

Somehow the body keeps life going despite the ravaging negations of the mind. By Mason Cooley Mind Body Life Ravaging Negations

Vacations prove that a life of pleasure is overrated. By Mason Cooley Vacations Overrated Prove Life Pleasure

Growth provides novel experiences for youth; decay the same, alas, for age. By Mason Cooley Alas Growth Youth Decay Age

Human society sustains itself by transforming nature into garbage. By Mason Cooley Human Garbage Society Sustains Transforming

Self-hatred and self-love are equally self-centered. By Mason Cooley Selfhatred Selfcentered Selflove Equally

Lying just for the fun of it is either art or pathology. By Mason Cooley Lying Pathology Fun Art

The most reliable pleasure afforded by theater is the intermission. By Mason Cooley Intermission Reliable Pleasure Afforded Theater

Unconditional love is a lofty ideal, but unconditional hate is a fact well documented by history. By Mason Cooley Ideal History Unconditional Love Lofty

Hatred observes with more care than love does. By Mason Cooley Hatred Observes Care Love

Intellectuals have opinions on subjects they just heard about five minutes ago. By Mason Cooley Intellectuals Ago Opinions Subjects Heard

After Voltaire: envy is chained to the portico of the temple of glory and can neither enter nor leave. By Mason Cooley Voltaire Envy Leave Chained Portico

Many gloat over their own troubles. By Mason Cooley Troubles Gloat

Middle-aged adolescents are a libel on the real thing. By Mason Cooley Middleaged Thing Adolescents Libel Real

After I have said what is required by my vanity and my morality, I may find a moment for Truth. By Mason Cooley Truth Morality Required Vanity Find

Machismo makes no provision for preparing lunch, doing the laundry, or minding the baby. By Mason Cooley Machismo Lunch Laundry Baby Makes

Nature knows no difference between weeds and flowers. By Mason Cooley Nature Flowers Difference Weeds

An omnipotent God is the only being with no reason to lie. By Mason Cooley God Lie Omnipotent Reason

I resist change even as I call for it. By Mason Cooley Resist Change Call

Modern pictures banish depiction for interfering with the workings of paint. By Mason Cooley Modern Paint Pictures Banish Depiction

We are prepared for insults, but compliments leave us baffled. By Mason Cooley Insults Baffled Prepared Compliments Leave

Beware of wallflowers. They expect to have everything done for them. By Mason Cooley Beware Wallflowers Expect

Interpreting the dance: young women in white dancing in a ring can only be virgins; old women in black dancing in a ring can only be witches; but middle-aged women in colors, square dancing ... ? By Mason Cooley Women Dancing Ring Interpreting Dance

I create my social existence by earning and spending. By Mason Cooley Spending Create Social Existence Earning

When science drove the gods out of nature, they took refuge in poetry and the porticos of civic buildings. By Mason Cooley Nature Buildings Science Drove Gods

Children consider disliking their parents natural, but if the dislike is returned, they are outraged. By Mason Cooley Children Natural Returned Outraged Disliking

My obsessions used to be my protectors, but now they have taken me prisoner. By Mason Cooley Protectors Prisoner Obsessions

Those who refuse to play second fiddle may wind up playing no fiddle at all. By Mason Cooley Fiddle Refuse Play Wind Playing

Death is hacking away at my address book and party lists. By Mason Cooley Death Lists Hacking Address Book

People invent gods to explain their suffering. By Mason Cooley People Suffering Invent Gods Explain

Don't stare into a mirror when you are trying to solve a problem. By Mason Cooley Problem Stare Mirror Solve

The past is ignorant of the present. Be careful in taking its advice. By Mason Cooley Present Past Ignorant Advice Careful

A restaurant with candles and flowers evokes more reveries than the Isle of Bali does. By Mason Cooley Isle Bali Restaurant Candles Flowers

Cheap thrill: moral outrage revels in its own innocence and in the guilt of the wicked Others. By Mason Cooley Cheap Thrill Moral Outrage Revels

Our troubles keep us going. By Mason Cooley Troubles

Dogs often remind us of the human, ail-too human. Cats, never. By Mason Cooley Human Dogs Ailtoo Cats Remind

Office politics are bloody-minded, but weak on content. By Mason Cooley Office Bloodyminded Content Politics Weak

The truths I shun follow me, mumbling. By Mason Cooley Mumbling Truths Shun Follow

Forgetting and remembering are governed by laws, but we cannot find out what they are. By Mason Cooley Forgetting Laws Remembering Governed Find

The gods are watching, but idly, yawning. By Mason Cooley Yawning Watching Idly Gods

Good manners can render even virtue tolerable. By Mason Cooley Good Tolerable Manners Render Virtue

Self-hatred is sometimes appropriate. By Mason Cooley Selfhatred

Thought enables us to see Fate coming. By Mason Cooley Fate Thought Coming Enables

Amateurs believe their enthusiasm will suffice. By Mason Cooley Amateurs Suffice Enthusiasm

When a paradox is widely believed, it is no longer recognized as a paradox. By Mason Cooley Paradox Believed Widely Longer Recognized

If you have no power, talk about your influence. If you have power, talk about the constraints that hem you in. By Mason Cooley Talk Power Influence Constraints Hem

Nothing easier than to confuse busyness with goodness. By Mason Cooley Goodness Easier Confuse Busyness

Paradox implies that stating a contradiction disposes of it. By Mason Cooley Paradox Implies Stating Contradiction Disposes

The suburbs: signs of life, but no proofs. By Mason Cooley Suburbs Signs Life Proofs

I did not know I was in my prime until afterwards. By Mason Cooley Prime

Illusions are hazardous, and so are disillusions. By Mason Cooley Illusions Hazardous Disillusions

Carnal knowledge is as forgettable as the other kinds. By Mason Cooley Carnal Kinds Knowledge Forgettable

Dieting is our last tie with asceticism. By Mason Cooley Dieting Asceticism Tie

I am forbidden sugar, fat, and alcohol. So hooray, I guess, for oatmeal, lemon juice, and chicken soup. By Mason Cooley Fat Sugar Alcohol Forbidden Hooray

Regret leads to overeating and naps. By Mason Cooley Regret Naps Leads Overeating

My regimen is lust and avarice for exercise, gluttony and sloth for relaxation. By Mason Cooley Exercise Gluttony Relaxation Regimen Lust

Maxims are sharp-edged half-truths. By Mason Cooley Maxims Halftruths Sharpedged

Mortality: not acquittal but a series of postponements is what we hope for. By Mason Cooley Mortality Acquittal Series Postponements Hope

Victimization has its privileges, and I want some. By Mason Cooley Victimization Privileges

Opportunity often goes begging. Luck, never. By Mason Cooley Luck Opportunity Begging

The discontented believe that their regrets are about the past. By Mason Cooley Past Discontented Regrets

Lies and promises are necessary but not sufficient. By Mason Cooley Lies Sufficient Promises

The avant-garde is now stranded in the past. By Mason Cooley Past Avantgarde Stranded

Human nature is a scoundrel's favorite explanation. By Mason Cooley Human Explanation Nature Scoundrel Favorite

I obey my own commands about as often as others do. By Mason Cooley Obey Commands

Small faults and virtues are for daily life. The big ones are for emergencies. By Mason Cooley Small Life Faults Virtues Daily

In even the happiest love story, the World wins at last. By Mason Cooley World Story Happiest Love Wins

Prudence suspects that happiness is a bait set by risk. By Mason Cooley Prudence Risk Suspects Happiness Bait

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story. By Mason Cooley Clothes Statement Make Costumes Story

In ethics, prudence is not an important virtue, but in the world it is almost everything. By Mason Cooley Ethics Prudence Virtue Important World

Universal truths have become an embarrassment, but they won't quite go away. By Mason Cooley Universal Embarrassment Truths

Saying "I love you" makes a demand, but creates no obligations. By Mason Cooley Makes Demand Obligations Love Creates

Amazing that the human race has taken enough time out from thinking about food or sex to create the arts and sciences. By Mason Cooley Amazing Sciences Human Race Time

After an argument, silence may mean acceptance or the continuation of resistance by other means. By Mason Cooley Argument Silence Acceptance Continuation Resistance

I love you is the inscription on Pandora's box. By Mason Cooley Pandora Box Love Inscription

To learn a vocation, you also have to learn the frauds it practices and the promises it breaks. By Mason Cooley Learn Vocation Breaks Frauds Practices

Fastidious taste makes enjoyment a struggle. By Mason Cooley Fastidious Struggle Taste Makes Enjoyment

Flatter me, but delicately, please, for I am fastidious. By Mason Cooley Flatter Delicately Fastidious

I am kept in bondage by the moles of my beloved. By Mason Cooley Beloved Bondage Moles

Cure for an obsession: get another one. By Mason Cooley Cure Obsession

Self-analysis always cheats. By Mason Cooley Selfanalysis Cheats

The educated do not share a common body of information, but a common state of mind. By Mason Cooley Common Information Mind Educated Share

Boredom turns to panic if my beloved leaves before the usual time. By Mason Cooley Boredom Time Turns Panic Beloved

Truth can remain silent. Lies must be spoken. By Mason Cooley Truth Silent Remain Lies Spoken

My neglected duties crowd around me in my dreams, murmuring. By Mason Cooley Murmuring Dreams Neglected Duties Crowd

Beggars beg to get money, not to reproach the passerby. By Mason Cooley Beggars Money Passerby Beg Reproach

My mind is led astray by every faint rustle. By Mason Cooley Rustle Mind Led Astray Faint

You know you're in love when you stop comparing. By Mason Cooley Comparing Love Stop

The meaning of today will not be clear until tomorrow. By Mason Cooley Tomorrow Meaning Today Clear

Dreams surround our desires with ugliness and dread. By Mason Cooley Dreams Dread Surround Desires Ugliness

Tolerance is a placid contempt. By Mason Cooley Tolerance Contempt Placid

As a child I was middle-aged and cautious compared to my impulsive father. By Mason Cooley Father Child Middleaged Cautious Compared

Fear of trying causes paralysis. Trying causes only trembling and sweating. By Mason Cooley Fear Paralysis Sweating Trembling

The wretchedness of failure is the great attraction of success. By Mason Cooley Success Wretchedness Failure Great Attraction

In bridge clubs and in councils of state, the passions are the same. By Mason Cooley State Bridge Clubs Councils Passions

Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason By Mason Cooley Reason Friendship Love Minus Sex

Avid readers are enchanted by meaning, which is available chiefly in books. By Mason Cooley Avid Meaning Books Readers Enchanted

Children use all their wiles to get their way with adults. Adults do the same with children. By Mason Cooley Children Adults Wiles

My aspiration now is to get by luck what I could not get by merit. By Mason Cooley Merit Aspiration Luck

Discontented women dream of being rescued by Prince Charming. Discontented men dream of finding a horny blond in the back seat ofa taxi. By Mason Cooley Charming Prince Discontented Dream Women

The aim of literary ambition is to demonstrate one's greatness of soul. By Mason Cooley Soul Aim Literary Ambition Demonstrate

While we are reading, we are all Don Quixote. By Mason Cooley Quixote Don Reading

The Puritan sours his pleasures by disguising them as duties. By Mason Cooley Puritan Duties Sours Pleasures Disguising

Liberal Doctrine: it is not children who misbehave, but parents. By Mason Cooley Doctrine Liberal Misbehave Parents Children

Every few years something new breaks into the circle of my thoughts. By Mason Cooley Thoughts Years Breaks Circle

Eccentricity gives misfits a way of fitting in. By Mason Cooley Eccentricity Misfits Fitting

Procrastination and impatience form a system of checks and balances. By Mason Cooley Procrastination Balances Impatience Form System

The plastic surgeon's knife slashes at time, which may seem to retreat, but then keeps on coming. By Mason Cooley Time Retreat Coming Plastic Surgeon

The parade was here, but it disappeared around a corner. By Mason Cooley Corner Parade Disappeared

Our detachments move us toward freedom and death. By Mason Cooley Death Detachments Move Freedom

Reading civilized the inner life. By Mason Cooley Reading Life Civilized

The best hand always believes in playing by the rules. By Mason Cooley Rules Hand Playing

I like what I do for a living. I also like NOT doing itperhaps even more. By Mason Cooley Living Itperhaps

Faith moves mountains, but you have to keep pushing while you are praying. By Mason Cooley Faith Mountains Praying Moves Pushing

Joy goes as deep as sorrow, but leaves less of itself behind. By Mason Cooley Joy Sorrow Deep Leaves

Imagination awakens ambition, then causes it to lose its way. By Mason Cooley Imagination Ambition Awakens Lose

We often mistake the original part of ourselves for a weakness. By Mason Cooley Weakness Mistake Original Part

Orgies are an early form of what will someday become sex by committee. By Mason Cooley Orgies Committee Early Form Someday

At the end of every diet, the path curves back to the trough. By Mason Cooley Diet Trough End Path Curves

In middle age, going naked contributes little to public enjoyment. By Mason Cooley Age Enjoyment Middle Naked Contributes

Winning means outlasting everyone else. By Mason Cooley Winning Outlasting

Middle age went by while I was mourning for my lost youth. By Mason Cooley Middle Youth Age Mourning Lost

To be fulfilled, a prophecy needs lots of flexibility. By Mason Cooley Fulfilled Flexibility Prophecy Lots

The sewing machine joins what the scissors have cut asunder, plus whatever else comes in its path. By Mason Cooley Asunder Path Sewing Machine Joins

Call on literary convention, and it will gladly tell your story for you. By Mason Cooley Call Convention Literary Gladly Story

With every physical pain, my moral fibre unravels a little. By Mason Cooley Pain Physical Moral Fibre Unravels

The mind demands rules; the facts demand exceptions. By Mason Cooley Rules Exceptions Mind Facts Demands

Many think that assigning blame settles matters. By Mason Cooley Matters Assigning Blame Settles

Pornography supplies the only really safe sex. By Mason Cooley Pornography Sex Supplies Safe

Self-inflicted misery smirks under its crown of thorns. By Mason Cooley Selfinflicted Thorns Misery Smirks Crown

Snarls and sobs show that a love affair is getting serious. By Mason Cooley Snarls Sobs Show Love Affair

True wit has a grave intention. By Mason Cooley True Intention Wit Grave

If you insist on asking me why I feel the way I do, I plan to take the Fifth Amendment. By Mason Cooley Amendment Insist Feel Plan

Metaphysics keeps surviving its obituaries. By Mason Cooley Metaphysics Obituaries Surviving

Expenditure now attracts fame as conquest once did. By Mason Cooley Expenditure Attracts Fame Conquest

Even alone we go on justifying ourselves. By Mason Cooley Justifying

Spirituality now wanders from sex to drugs to art to revolution to violencewhatever seems to promise deliverance from the quotidian. By Mason Cooley Spirituality Quotidian Wanders Sex Drugs

Beauty is lyrical. Ugliness is elegiac. By Mason Cooley Beauty Lyrical Ugliness Elegiac

Readers transform a library from a mausoleum into many theaters. By Mason Cooley