Discover a wealth of wisdom and insight from Lemony Snicket through their most impactful and thought-provoking quotes and sayings. Expand your perspective with their inspiring words and share these beautiful Lemony Snicket quote pictures with your friends and followers on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blog - all free of charge. We've compiled the top 909 Lemony Snicket quotes for you to explore and share with others.

There are many things in this world I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult t breathe, or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all the houses look alike. By Lemony Snicket Things World Wings Butterflies Cocoons

A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting. By Lemony Snicket Integrity Fingertips Decency Kindness Noble

I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of a cruel twist of fate, a phrase which here means that nothing has happened the way I thought it would. Once I was a content man, with a comfortable home, a successful career, a person I loved very much, and an extremely reliable typewriter, but all of those things have been taken away from me, and now the only trace I have of those happy days is the tattoo on my left ankle. As I sit in this very tiny room, printing these words with a very large pencil, I feel as if my whole life has been nothing but a dismal play, presented just for someone else's amusement, and that the playwright who invented my cruel twist of fate is somewhere far above me, laughing and laughing at his creation. By Lemony Snicket Twist Evening Cruel Fate Phrase

When you read as many books as Klaus Baudelaire, you are going to learn a great deal of information that might not become useful for a long time. You might read a book that would teach you all about the exploration of outer space, even if you do not become an astronaut until you are eighty years old. You might read a book about how to preform tricks on ice skates, and then not be forced to preform these tricks for a few weeks. You might read a book on how to have a successful marriage, when the only women you will ever love has married someone else and then perished one terrible afternoon. By Lemony Snicket Read Baudelaire Klaus Book Time

We'll see what you find out," Stew said. "You'll find out what it feels like to be thrown from a speeding train to the rocky bottom of a drained sea. Except you won't really find out, because you'll be dead. Get it? What I mean is, it'll kill you when I throw you from this train so you'll be in no state to find out what it feels like. Get it? Due to your death by falling from a train. By Lemony Snicket Stew Find Train Feels Sea

I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands."Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations."But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. By Lemony Snicket Kevin Replied Hooks Face Jealous

This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there's always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaires Story Sort People Invent

The three of us stood there for a minute. I don't know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabinet wasn't thinking anything. But I was thinking, is this the world? Is this really the place in which you've ended up, Snicket? It was a question that struck me, as it might strike you, when something ridiculous was going on, or something sad. I wondered if this was really where I should be, or if there was another world someplace, less ridiculous and less sad. But I never knew the answer to the question. Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would see another world when I died, which I was in no hurry to do. In the meantime, I was stuck in the police station, doing something so ridiculous it felt sad, and feeling so sad it was ridiculous. The world of the police station, the world of Stain'd-by-the-Sea and all of the wrong questions I was asking, was was the only world I could see. By Lemony Snicket World Thinking Ridiculous Sad Minute

Well, Nero," Genghis said, "I just wanted to give you this rose-a small gift of congratulations for the wonderful concert you gave us last night!""Oh, thank you," Nero said, taking the rose out of Genghis's hand and giving it a good smell. "I was wonderful, wasn't I?""You were perfection!" Genghis said. "The first time you played your sonata, I was deeply moved. The second time, I had tears in my eyes. The third time, I was sobbing. The fourth time, I had an uncontrollable emotional attack. The fifth time-" The Baudelaires did not hear about the fifth time because Nero's door swung shut behind them. By Lemony Snicket Genghis Time Nero Wonderful Night

Business cards, of course, are not proof of anything. Anyone can go to a print shop and have cards made that say anything they like. The king of Denmark can order business cards that say he sells golf balls. Your dentist can order business cards that say she is your grandmother. In order to escape from the castle of an enemy of mine, I once had cards printed that said I was an admiral in the French navy. Just because something is typed - whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book - this does not mean it is true. By Lemony Snicket Cards Business Order Typed Proof

It dawned on them that unlike Aunt Josephine, who had lived up in that house, sad and alone, the three children had one another for comfort and support over the course of their miserable lives. And while this did not make them feel entirely safe, or entirely happy, it made them feel appreciative.They leaned up against one another appreciatively, and small smiles appeared on their damp and anxious faces. They had each other. I'm not sure that "The Beaudelaires had each other" is the moral of this story, but to the three siblings it was enough. To have each other in the midst of their unfortunate lives felt like having a sailboat in the middle of a hurricane, and to the Beaudelaire orphans this felt very fortunate indeed. By Lemony Snicket Josephine Aunt House Sad Feel

But even if they could go home it would be difficult for me to tell you what the moral of the story is. In some stories, it's easy. The moral of "The Three Bears," for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house." The moral of "Snow White" is "Never eat apples." The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand." [ ... ] and as the Baudelaire orphans sat and watched the dock fill with people as the business of the day began, they figured out something that was very important to them. It dawned on them that unlike Aunt Josephine, who had lived up in that house, sad and alone, the three children had one another for comfort and support over the course of their miserable lives. And while this did not make them feel entirely safe, or entirely happy, it made them feel appreciative. By Lemony Snicket Moral Home Difficult Story House

When the bald associate had mentioned a sleeping beauty, he was referring to a fairy tale that you have probably heard one thousand times. Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with 'Once upon a time,' and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase 'happily ever after.' The story is usually illustrated with fancy drawings of the napping princess, who always looks very glamorous and elegant, with her hair neatly combed and a long silk gown keeping her comfortable as she snores away for years and years. By Lemony Snicket Sleeping Beauty Story Fairy Bald

I am very, very sorry to leave you hanging like that, but as I was writing the tale of the Baudelaire orphans, I happened to look at the clock and realized I was running late for a formal dinner party given by a friend of mine, Madame diLustro. Madame diLustro is a good friend, an excellent detective, and a fine cook, but she flies into a rage if you arrive even five minutes later than her invitation states, so you understand that I had to dash off. You must have thought, at the end of the previous chapter, that Sunny was dead and that this was the terrible thing that happened to the Baudelaires at Uncle Monty's house, but I promise you Sunny survives this particular episode. It is Uncle Monty, unfortunately, who will be dead, but not yet. By Lemony Snicket Madame Dilustro Uncle Monty Friend

Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. [ ... ] The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing. By Lemony Snicket Deciding Thing Party Situation Bit

The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things By Lemony Snicket Mind Truth Decided Party Late

A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead. By Lemony Snicket Road Traveled Travelers Called Describing

An associate of mine named William Congreve once wrote a very sad play that begins with the line 'Music has charms to sooth a savage beast,' a sentence which here means that if you are nervous or upset, you might listen to some music to calm you down or cheer you up. For instance, as I crouch here behind the alter of the Cathedral of the Alleged Virgin, a friend of mine is playing a sonata on the pipe organ, to calm me down and so that the sounds of my typewriter will not be heard by the worshipers sitting in the pews. The mournful melody of the sonata reminds me of a tune my father used to sing when he did the dishes, and as I listen to it I can temporarily forget six or seven of my troubles. By Lemony Snicket Music William Congreve Mine Calm

There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frightened while frightening things are going on. It is difficult to do this, but I had learned. It is simply a matter of putting one's fear aside, like the vegetable on the plate you don't want to touch until all of your rice and chicken are gone, and getting frightened later, when one is out of danger. Sometimes I imagine I will be frightened for the rest of my life because of all of the fear I put aside during my time in Stain'd-by-the-Sea. By Lemony Snicket Frightened Good Teaching Frightening Things

The curious thing about being told to sleep on it - a phrase which here means, as I'm sure you know, 'to go to bed thinking about something and reach a conclusion in the morning' - is that you usually can't. If you are thinking over a dilemma, you are likely to toss and turn all night long, thinking over terrible things that can happen and trying to imagine what in the world you can do about it, and these circumstances are unlikely to result in any sleeping at all. By Lemony Snicket Thinking Morning Curious Told Sleep

Being only twelve, Klaus of course had not read all the books in the Baudelaire library, but he had read a great many of them and had retained a lot of the information from his readings. He knew how to tell an alligator from a crocodile. He knew who killed Julius Caesar. And he knew much about the tiny, slimy animals found at Briny Beach, which he was examining now. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Baudelaire Read Knew Twelve

In the days that followed, the Baudelaire orphans had pits in their stomachs. In Sunny's case it was understandable, because when Klaus had divided the peach, she had gotten the part with the pit. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaire Stomachs Days Orphans Sunny

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends.""We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man.""Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. By Lemony Snicket Genghis Klaus Friends Smart Borrowed

And all of it was dark. I could see tall shelves, and a few windows covered in thick shades that hid the starlight. In the middle of the room was a circular table with shadows gathered around it. "Who wrote The Wind in the Willows?" asked By Lemony Snicket Dark Willows Shelves Starlight Wind

There's information about everything from poetry topills, from picture frames to pyramids, and from pudding to psychologyand that's just in the P aisle,which we're walking down right now. By Lemony Snicket Topills Pyramids Information Poetry Picture

Although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table if elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element if surprise. By Lemony Snicket Found Elements Element Table Oxygen

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. By Lemony Snicket Loves Secret Glass Gasp Drawer

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, because you brush harder and do a better job. By Lemony Snicket Brush Teeth Bathroom Angry Job

If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around and around the bowl, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had in front of you, but you would not be using the expression in the same way I am about to use it now. Although 'a mixed bag' sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An afternoon at a movie theater, for instance, would be a mixed bag if you favourite movie were showing but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful, but all the man- and woman-eating lions were running around loose. By Lemony Snicket Bag Mixed Bowl Expression Plastic

At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey. By Lemony Snicket Place Bad Times World Unfriendly

After even the first few steps, the disadvantages of the bus ride seemed like small potatoes. 'Small potatoes' is a phrase which has nothing to do with root vegetables that happen to be tiny in size. Instead, it refers to the change in one's feelings for something when it is compared with something else. If you were walking in the rain, for instance, you might be worried about getting wet, but if you turned the corner and saw a pack of vicious dogs, getting wet would suddenly become small potatoes next to getting chased down an alley and barked at, or possibly eaten. By Lemony Snicket Small Steps Disadvantages Bus Ride

It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. By Lemony Snicket Party Pillows Trickier Easy Decide

The Baudelaires looked at one another with bitter smiles. Sunny was right. It wasn't fair that their parents had been taken away from them. It wasn't fair that the evil and revolting Count Olaf was pursuing them wherever they went, caring for nothing but their fortune. It wasn't fair that they moved from relative to relative, with terrible things happening at each of their new homes, as if the Baudelaires were riding on some horrible bus that stopped only at stations of unfaireness and misery. By Lemony Snicket Fair Baudelaires Smiles Looked Bitter

Let's see! I'll put you to work right away! Aye! No - first I'll give you a tour! No - I'll introduce you to my crew! No - I'll let you rest! No - I'd better get you into uniforms! Aye! It's important that everyone aboard wear a waterproof uniform in case the submarine collapses and we find ourselves underwater! Of course, in that case we'll need diving helmets! Except Sunny because she can't wear one! I guess she'll drown! No - she can curl up inside a diving helmet! Aye! The helmets have a tiny door on the neck just for such purpose! Aye! I've seen it done! I've seen so many things in my time!""Excuse me," Violet said, "but could you tell us who you are? By Lemony Snicket Aye Helmets Diving Case Wear

Is the elevator out of order?" Violet asked. "I'm very good with mechanical devices, and I'd be happy to take a look at it.""That's a very kind and unusual offer," the doorman said. By Lemony Snicket Order Elevator Violet Asked Devices

Their adventure would be exciting and memorable lie being chased by a werewolf through a field of thorny bushes at midnight with nobody around to help you. By Lemony Snicket Adventure Exciting Memorable Lie Chased

Bambini!" Uncle Monty cried out from the front door. "Come along, bambini!"The Baudelaire orphans raced back through the hedges to where their new guardian was waiting for them. "Violet, Uncle Monty," Violet said. "My name is Violet, my brother's is Klaus, and Sunny is our baby sister. None of us is named Bambini.""'Bambini' is the Italian word for 'children,'" Uncle Monty explained. "I had a sudden urge to speak a little Italian. I'm so excited to have you three here with me, you're lucky I'm not speaking gibberish. By Lemony Snicket Bambini Uncle Monty Violet Italian

If you don't care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn't care about dentists, for instance could say 'Dentist, schmentists. By Lemony Snicket Letters Word Care Replacing Demonstrate

Truth, schmuth," Captain Sham said. If you don't care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the real first letters. Somebody who didn't care about dentists, for instance, could say "Dentists, schmentists. By Lemony Snicket Captain Sham Truth Schmuth Dentists

Well," he said, "this isn't too bad. My left leg is broken, but at least I'm right-legged. That's pretty fortunate.""Gee," one of the other employees murmured. "I thought he'd say something more along the lines of 'Aaaaah! My leg! My leg!'""If someone could just help me get to my foot," Phil said, "I'm sure that I can get back to work.""Don't be ridiculous," Violet said. "You need to go to a hospital.""Yes, Phil," another worker said. "We have those coupons from last month, fifty percent off a cast at the Ahab Memorial Hospital. Two of us will chip in and get your leg all fixed up. I'll call for an ambulance right away. By Lemony Snicket Leg Bad Phil Gee Aaaaah

At this point in the story, I feel obliged to interrupt and give you one last warning. As I said at the very beginning, the book you are holding in your hands does not have a happy ending. It may appear now that Count Olaf will go to jail and that the three Baudelaire youngsters will live happily ever after with Justice Strauss, but it is not so. If you like, you may shut the book this instant and not read the unhappy ending that is to follow. You may spend the rest of your life believing that the Baudelaires triumphed over Count Olaf and lived the rest of their lives in the house and library of Justice Strauss, but that is not how the story goes. By Lemony Snicket Strauss Count Olaf Justice Warning

You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two. By Lemony Snicket Spend Life Hanging Books Learning

E!" Klaus cried. "E as in Exit!" The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the lastcabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in Howin the World Are We Going to Escape? By Lemony Snicket Exit Cabinets Escape Klaus Cried

The expression 'a bold from the blue' describes something so surprising that i makes you head spin, your legs wobble, and your body buzz with astonishment - as if a bold of lightening suddenly came down from a clear blue sky and struck you at full force. Unless you are a lightbulb, an electrical appliance, or a tree that is tired of standing upright, encountering a bold from the blue is not a pleasant experience. By Lemony Snicket Bold Blue Expression Describes Spin

Who are you?" Violet asked. It is confusing to fall asleep in the daytime and wake up at night."what are you doing with Uncle Monty's reptiles?" Klaus asked. It is also confusing to realize you have been sleeping on stairs, rather than in a bed or sleeping bag. "Dixnik?" Sunny asked. It is always confusing why anyone would choose to wear a plaid shirt. By Lemony Snicket Asked Confusing Dixnik Uncle Monty

Morning is one of the best times for thinking. When one has just woken up, but hasn't yet gotten out of bed, it is a perfect time to look up at the ceiling, consider one's life, and wonder what the future will hold. By Lemony Snicket Morning Thinking Bed Ceiling Life

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. By Lemony Snicket Change Awkwardly Love Baby Mess

If you try to avoid every instance of peer pressure you will end up without any peers whatsoever, and the trick is to succumb to enough pressure that you do not drive your peers away, but not so much that you end up in a situation in which you are dead or otherwise uncomfortable. This is a difficult trick, and most people never master it, and end up dead or uncomfortable at least once during their lives. By Lemony Snicket End Pressure Peers Dead Whatsoever

Ellington Feint was a line in my mind running right down the middle of my life, separating the formal training of my childhood and the territory of the rest of my days. She was an axis, and at that moment and for many moments afterward, my entire world revolved around her. By Lemony Snicket Feint Ellington Life Separating Days

This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there. By Lemony Snicket Suddenly Feeling Unlike Sinking Stomach

Among Violet's many useful skills was a vast knowledge of different types of knots. The particular knot she was using was called the Devil's Tongue. A group of female Finnish pirates invented it back in the fifteenth century, and named it the Devil's Tongue because it twisted this way and that, in the most complicated and eerie way. By Lemony Snicket Violet Devil Tongue Skills Vast

What does 'giddy' mean?" Violet asked, when they had finished reading the note. "'Dizzy and excited,'" Klaus said, having learned the word from a collection of poetry he'd read in first grade. "I guess he means excited about Peru. Or maybe he's excited about having a new assistant.""Or maybe he's excited about us," Violet said. By Lemony Snicket Giddy Excited Violet Dizzy Klaus

In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around. By Lemony Snicket Meantime Grab Wonderful Moments Find

Occasionally, events in one's life become clearer through the prism of experience, a phrase which simply means that things tend to be clearer as time goes on. For instance, when a person is just born, they usually have no idea what curtains are and spend a great deal of their first months wondering why on earth Mommy and Daddy have hung large pieces of cloth over each window in the nursery. But as the person grows older, the idea of curtains becomes clearer through the prism of experience. The person will learn the word "curtains" and notice that they are actually quite handy for keeping a room dark when it is time to sleep, and for decorating an otherwise boring window area. Eventually, they will entirely accept the idea of curtains of their own, or venetian blinds, and it is all due to the prism of experience. By Lemony Snicket Experience Prism Clearer Curtains Idea

In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and there were a whole lot of them on every conceivable subject. "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk," Mr. Remora would say, chewing on a banana. "When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end." Or: "One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end." Mr. Ramora would tell story after story, and eat banana after banana, and it would get more and more difficult for Violet to pay attention. By Lemony Snicket Remora Stories Banana Notebooks Test

With any word, there are subconscious associations, which simply means that certain words make you think of certain things, even if you don't want to. The word 'cake,' for example, might remind you of your birthday, and the words 'prison warden' might remind you of someone you haven't seen in a very long time. The word 'Beatrice' reminds me of a volunteer organization that was swarming with corruption, and the word 'midnight' reminds me that I must keep writing this chapter very quickly or else I will probably drown. By Lemony Snicket Word Associations Things Remind Reminds

There are many expressions to describe someone who is going about something in the wrong way. "Making a mistake" is one way to describe this situation. "Screwing up" is another, although it is a bit rude, and "Attempting to rescue Lemony Snicket by writing letters to a congressman, instead of digging an escape tunnel" is a third way, although it is a bit too specific. By Lemony Snicket Describe Expressions Wrong Making Bit

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. By Lemony Snicket Thing Mouth Cats Allergic Put

Hee hee hee!" Nero said. "You children are like three clowns!""Ho ho ho!" Count Olaf said."Ha ha ha!" Violet said, who was beginning to feel queasy from faking all this laughter. By Lemony Snicket Hee Olaf Nero Clowns Count

Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure By Lemony Snicket Pressure Bury Diamond Thousands Years

But you can't invent things like time,' Violet said. 'You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window waster. But you can't invent more time. By Lemony Snicket Violet Things Invent Time Poppers

The next morning I learned why our room was called the Far East Suite. It was located in the corner of the Lost Arms that was the farthest east, and so the very first rays of the sunlight came through the shutters and poked me in the eye. "Go play," I told the sunlight. "I'll catch up with you later." The sunlight insisted that I wake up right this very minute, so I sat up in bed and went into the bathroom to wash my face and change my clothes. By Lemony Snicket Suite East Sunlight Morning Learned

I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. By Lemony Snicket Counts Inside Heard Appearance Matter

I am sure you have heard that appearance doesn't matter and that it's what's on the inside that counts. Well that of course is utter nonsense, because if no one cared about what's on the outside no one would take a bath or comb their hair and the world would be a lot smellier than it already is! By Lemony Snicket Counts Heard Appearance Matter Inside

The burning of a book is a sad, sad sight, for even though a book is nothing but ink and paper, it feels as if the ideas contained in the book are disappearing as the pages turn to ashes and the cover and bindingwhich is the term for the stitching and glue that holds the pages togetherblacken and curl as the flames do their wicked work. When someone is burning a book, they are showing utter contempt for all of the thinking that produced its ideas, all of the labor that went into its words and sentences, and all of the trouble that befell the author ... By Lemony Snicket Book Pages Sad Burning Ideas

Off with you" is a phrase used by people who lack the courtesy to say something more polite, such as "If there's nothing else you require, I must be going," or "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave, please," or even "Excuse me, but I believe you have mistaken my home for your own, and my valuable belongings for yours, and I must ask you to return the items in question to me, and leave my home, after untying me from this chair, as I am unable to do it myself, if it's not too much trouble. By Lemony Snicket Home Excuse Leave Polite Require

Who will take care of us out there?" Klaus said, looking out on the flat horizon. "Nobody," Violet said. "We'll have to take care of ourselves. We'll have to be self-sustaining.""Like the hot air mobile home," Klaus said, "that could travel and survive all by itself.""Like me," Sunny said, and abruptly stood up. Violet and Klaus gasped in surprise as their baby sister took her first wobbly steps, and then walked closely beside her, ready to catch her if she fell. But she didn't fall. Sunny took a few more self-sustaining steps, and then the three Baudelaires stood together, casting long shadows across the horizon in the dying light of the sunset. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Violet Care Sunny Steps

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said. By Lemony Snicket Sisyphus Easier Systematically Stealthy Cystsusceptible

If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. By Lemony Snicket Entertain Baby Cousin Refuse Bored

Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. But if you refuse to entertain a notion - which is just a fancy way of saying that you refuse to think about a certain idea - you have to be much braver than someone who is merely facing some blood-thirsty animals, or some parents who are upset to find their little darling at the bottom of a well, because nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself. By Lemony Snicket Refuse Entertaining Entertain Baby Cousin

Thinking about something is like picking up a stone when taking a walk, either while skipping rocks on the beach, for example, or looking for a way to shatter the glass doors of a museum. When you think about something, it adds a bit of weight to your walk, and as you think about more and more things you are liable to feel heavier and heavier, until you are so burdened you cannot take any further steps, and can only sit and stare at the gentle movements of the ocean waves or security guards, thinking too hard bout too many things to do anything else. By Lemony Snicket Thinking Walk Beach Museum Picking

It is good to see people happy with one another. It is a glimpse of a world in which everyone is that way. A happy world might be boring, I told myself, but watching Jake grin at Cleo grinning at Jake grinning at Cleo and back again, I thought it was worth the risk. By Lemony Snicket Cleo Jake Good People Happy

You cannot have a really terrific library without at least one terrific librarian, the way you cannot have a really terrific bedroom unless you can lock the door. By Lemony Snicket Terrific Librarian Door Library Bedroom

The world is full of disappointment," I said."Yes," she said, "I heard him say that. And every creature is simply trying to get what it wants, and to make their way through a difficult world. Do you believe that?""No," I said. "There's more than that.""Like what?""Like good books," I said, "and good people. And good librarians, who are almost both at once. By Lemony Snicket Disappointment Said World Good Full

And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. By Lemony Snicket Joy Head Ceilings Jump Good

Page thirteen of the Baudelaire file was not a crowded sheet of paper - there was just one photography and a sentence to make an author cry himself to sleep even years after the photograph was taken, or to make three siblings sit and stare at a page for a long time, as if an entire book were printed on one sheet of paper. By Lemony Snicket Paper Sheet Make Baudelaire Page

The library turned out to be a very pleasant place, but it was not the comfortable chairs, the huge wooden bookshelves, or the hush of people reading that made the three siblings feel so good as they walked into the room. It is useless for me to tell you all about the brass lamps in the shapes of different fish, or the bright blue curtains that rippled like water as a breeze came in from the window, because although these were wonderful things they were no what made the three children smile. The Quagmire triplets were smiling, too, and although I have not researched the Quagmires nearly as much as I have the Baudelaires, I can say with reasonable accuracy that they were smiling for the same reason. By Lemony Snicket Made Place Chairs Bookshelves Room

It was an eerie feeling, which is why Violet and Sunny were surprised when Klaus broke the silence by laughing suddenly."What are you snickering at?" Violet asked."I just realized something," Klaus said. "We're going to the administrative building without an appointment. We'll have to eat our meals without silverware.""There's nothing funny about that!" Violet said. "What if they serve oatmeal for breakfast? We'll have to scoop it up with our hands.""Oot," Sunny said, which meant "Trust me, it's not that difficult," and at that the Baudelaire sisters joined their brother in laughter. It was not funny, of course, that Nero enforced such terrible punishments, but the idea of eating oatmeal with their hands gave all three siblings the giggles."Or fried eggs!" Violet said. "What if they serve runny fried eggs?""Or pancakes, covered in syrup!" Klaus said. "Soup!" Sunny shrieked, and they all broke out in laughter again. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Violet Sunny Feeling Suddenly

But happy moments came rarely and unexpectedly in the Baudelaires' lives, and the three siblings had learned to accept them. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaires Lives Happy Moments Rarely

A very long time ago, my brother and I played a game each morning while we waited for the school bus to arrive. We called the game Beethoven, and my sister refused to play because she thought it was inane. "Inane" is a word which here means that my brother and I would pretend we couldn't hear each other very well while we were talking. By Lemony Snicket Inane Ago Arrive Brother Game

Tall and skinny, with arms and legs sticking out at odd angles, as if [they] were made of drinking straws instead of flesh and bone. By Lemony Snicket Tall Skinny Angles Bone Arms

I lost Ike,' Aunt Josephine said, 'and I lost Lake Lachrymose. I mean, I didn't really lose it, of course. It's still down in the valley. But I grew up on its shores. I used to swim in it every day. I know which beaches were sandy and which were rocky. I knew all the islands in the middle of its waters and all the caves alongside it's shore. Lake Lachrymose felt like a friend to me. But when it took poor Ike away from me I was too afraid to go near it anymore. I stopped swimming in it. I never went to the beach again. I even put away all my books about it. The only way I can bear to look at it is from the Wide Window in the Library. By Lemony Snicket Lost Aunt Josephine Lachrymose Ike

When Bruce had used the word "brilliant" about Uncle Monty, he meant "having a reputation for cleverness or intelligence." But when the children used the word - and when they thought of it now, staring at the Reptile Room glowing in the moonlight - it meant more than that. It meant that even in the bleak circumstances of their current situation, even throughout the series of unfortunate events that would happen to them for the rest of their lives, Uncle Monty and his kindness would shine in their memories. Uncle Monty was brilliant, and their time with him was brilliant. Bruce and his men from the Herpetological Society could dismantle Uncle Monty's collection, but nobody could ever dismantle the way the Baudelaires would think of him. By Lemony Snicket Monty Uncle Brilliant Word Meant

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too. By Lemony Snicket Lives Night World Landscape Hoping

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things. By Lemony Snicket Curious Death Loved Surprise Dark

Are you who I think you are? By Lemony Snicket

So you're a real person! I always thought you were a legendary figure, like unicorns or Giuseppe Verdi. By Lemony Snicket Person Verdi Real Giuseppe Figure

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter. By Lemony Snicket Deciding Splinter Trust Person Climb

I have stood in a department store, and seen something written on a price tag that told me I had to leave at once, but in different clothing. By Lemony Snicket Store Clothing Stood Department Written

It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches. By Lemony Snicket Home Sandwiches Sad Leaves Simply

And a refrigerator may hold a basket of strawberries, which would be important if a maniac said to you, "If you don't give me a basket of strawberries right now, I'm going to poke you with this large stick." But when the two elder Baudelaires and Quigley Quagmire opened the refrigerator, they found nothing that would help someone who was wounded, dying of thirst, or being threatened by a strawberry-crazed, stick-carrying maniac. By Lemony Snicket Basket Strawberries Stick Refrigerator Maniac

Sunny did not eat the wood, of course, but she chewed on it and pretended it was a carrot, or an apple, or a beef and cheese enchilada, all of which she loved. By Lemony Snicket Sunny Wood Carrot Apple Enchilada

And sometimes we discuss frightening and troublesome animals that might be nearby, and this topic always leads to much disagreement over which part of a frightening and troublesome beast is the most frightening and troublesome. Some say the teeth of the beast, because teeth are used for eating children, and often their parents, and gnawing on their bones. Some say the claws of the beast, because claws are used for ripping things to shreds. And some say the hair of the beast, because hair can make allergic people sneeze. But I always insist that the most frightening part of any beast is its belly, for the simple reason that if you are seeing the belly of the beast it means you have already seen the teeth of the beast and the claws of the of the beast and even the hair of the beast, and now you are trapped and there is probably no hope for you. By Lemony Snicket Beast Troublesome Frightening Teeth Claws

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things.""But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals. By Lemony Snicket Claus Santa Christmas Latke Hanukah

It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much. By Lemony Snicket Cry Give Crying Tedious Stop

Like all fairy tales, the Story of Sleeping Beauty begins with 'Once upon a time,' and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase 'happily ever after, By Lemony Snicket Story Sleeping Beauty Tales Time

In this large and fierce world of ours, there are many, many unpleasant places to be. You can be in a river swarming with angry electric eels, or in a supermarket filled with vicious long-distance runners. You can be in a hotel that has no room service, or you can be lost in a forest that is slowly filling up with water. You can be in a hornet's nest or in an abandoned airport or in the office of a pediatric surgeon, but one of the most unpleasant things that can happen is to find yourself in a quandary. Which is where the Baudelaire orphans found themselves that night. Finding yourself in a quandary means that everything seems confusing and dangerous and you don't know what in the world to do about it, and it is one of the worst unpleasantries you can encounter. By Lemony Snicket Large Fierce Places Unpleasant World

No matter how many slow and complicated mysteries I encounters in my life, I still hope that one day a slow and complicated mystery will be solved quickly and simply. An associate of mine calls this feeling "the triumph of hope over experience", which simply means that it's never going to happen, and that is what happened then. By Lemony Snicket Slow Complicated Life Hope Simply

Sometimes, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation. "I hate everything about our lives right now, Klaus," she said, "but we have to keep our chin up." This was an expression the children's father had used, and it meant "try to stay cheerful." -P. 32 By Lemony Snicket Klaus Situation Agree Make Feel

You and I, of course, would never do this to any of our grieving acquaintances, but it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed. - P. 34 By Lemony Snicket Friends Acquaintances Person Needed Grieving

It is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed. By Lemony Snicket Person Needed Friends Sad Truth

If the Baudelaire orphans had been stalks of celery, they would not have been small children in great distress, and if they had been lucky, Carmelita Spats would have not approached their table at this particular moment and delivered another unfortunate message. "Hello, you cakesniffers," she said, "although judging from the baby brat you're more like saladsniffers. I have another message for you from Coach Genghis. I get to be his Special Messenger because I'm the cutest, prettiest, nicest little girl in the whole school." "If you were really the nicest person in the whole school," Isadora said, "you wouldn't make fun of a sleeping infant. But never mind, what is the message?" "It's actually the same as last time," Carmelita said, "but I'll repeat it in case you're too stupid to remember. The three Baudelaire orphans are to report to the front lawn tonight, immediately after dinner." "What?" Klaus asked. "Are you deaf as well as cakesniffy?"Carmelita asked. By Lemony Snicket Spats Carmelita Message Baudelaire Celery

You might think that climbing a mountain is half the battle, only to find out that the mountain goats who live at the top are vicious, and heavily armed. By Lemony Snicket Mountain Battle Vicious Armed Climbing

We are respecting our parents' wishes ... They didn't want to shelter us from the world's treacheries. They wanted us to survive them. By Lemony Snicket Wishes Respecting Parents Treacheries Shelter

Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey! By Lemony Snicket Goodness Snakey God Golly Allah

I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches, and a fireproof canoe. It will take a while to find the peaches, so don't expect me back until dinnertime. Stephano, Gustav's replacement, will arrive today by taxi. Please make him feel welcome. As you know, it is only two days until the expedition, so please work very hard today. Your giddy uncle, Monty By Lemony Snicket Peruvian Toothbrushes Peaches Repellent Canned

These three man," Mimi said, "are suspects in a recent theft. Last night, Polly Partial received a shipment of twenty blueberry pies. This morning she counted them and came up short.""How many are missing?" I asked."Last night she had twenty," Harvey said, shutting the station door, "and today she found zero. So at least eighteen are missing.""At least." I agreed. By Lemony Snicket Mimi Man Theft Polly Suspects

There are some who say that sitting at home reading is the equivalent of travel, because the experiences described in the book are more or less the same as the experiences one might have on a voyages, and there are those who say that there is no substitute for venturing out into the world. My own opinion is that it is best to travel extensively but to read the entire time, hardly glancing up to look out of the window of the airplane, train, or hired camel. By Lemony Snicket Experiences Travel Voyages World Sitting

It doesn't matter if you never see someone again, I told myself. There are millions of people in the world, and most of them never see each other in the first place. You hoped to know Ellington Feinr forever, but there's no such thing as forever, really. Everything is much shorter than that. By Lemony Snicket Forever Matter Told Ellington Feinr

Please excuse the torn edges of this note. I am writing to you from inside the shack the Baudelaire orphans were forced to live in while at Prufrock Preparatory School, and I am afraid that some of the crabs tried to snatch my stationery away from me. On Sunday night, please purchase a ticket for seat 10-J at the Erratic Opera Company's performance of the opera Faute de Mieux. During Act Five, use a sharp knife to rip open the cushion of your seat. There you should find By Lemony Snicket Note Excuse Torn Edges Opera

Waiting is one of life's hardships. It is hard enough to wait for chocolate cream pie while burnt roast beef is still on your plate. It is plenty difficult to wait for Halloween when the tedious month of September is still ahead of you. But to wait for one's adopted uncle to come home while a greedy and violent man is upstairs was one of the worst waits the Baudelaires had ever experienced. By Lemony Snicket Wait Waiting Hardships Life Halloween

They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie. By Lemony Snicket Cared Almond Made Spinach Shoes

The Violins waltzed. The Cellos and Basses provided accompaniment. The Violas mourned their fate, while the Concertmaster showed off. The Flutes did bird imitations ... repeatedly, and the reed instruments had the good taste to admire my jacket. The Trumpets held a parade in honor of our great nation, while the French Horns waxed nostalgic about something or other. The Trombones had too much to drink. The Percussion beat the band, and the Tuba stayed home playing cards with his landlady, the Harp, taking sips of warm milk a blue little cup.But the Composer is still dead. By Lemony Snicket Violins Waltzed Cellos Basses Violas

If you feel ... that well-read people are less likely to be evil, and a world full of people sitting quietly with good books in their hands is preferable to world filled with schisms and sirens and other noisy and troublesome things, then every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, 'The world is quiet here,' as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good. By Lemony Snicket World People Good Feel Evil

O, great wise man,' she said, 'I have been wondering so many things. Is life more than sitting at home doing the same thing over and over? Wise man, is life more than watching one's relatives do unpleasant things, or more than grim tasks one must perform at school and at work? Is life more than being entertained by literature, wise man, or more than traveling from one place to another, suffering from poor emotional health and pondering the people one loves? And what about those who lead a life of mystery? And the mysteries of life? And, wise man, what about the overall feeling of doom that one cannot ever escape no matter what one does, and miscellaneous things that I have neglected to mention in specific? By Lemony Snicket Man Life Wise Things Great

Fire is like greed, my comrade. It spreads across the world, thinking only of itself, seizing everything it sees, and ruining everyone's fun. By Lemony Snicket Fire Greed Comrade World Thinking

I was in my favorite seat in the library, but it wasn't helping me like the book any better. It was a book people kept putting in my hands and telling me I was going to love, the way the doctor tells you the needle won't hurt a bit. The book began the way it always began before I gave up on it: with a man carrying around a drawing or a snake that had just eaten, and asking people what they thought of it. I thought it was no way to start up a conversation. By Lemony Snicket Book Library Favorite Seat Helping

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict. By Lemony Snicket People Noble Wicked Things Salads

There are men and women who are experts in the field of handwriting analysis. They are called graphologists, and they attend graphological schools in order to get their degrees in graphology. You might think that this situation would call for a graphologist, but there are time when an expert's opinion in unnecessary. For instance, if a friend of yours brought you her pet dog, and said she was concerned because it wasn't laying eggs, you would not have to be a veterinarian to tell her that dogs do not lay eggs and so there was nothing to worry about. By Lemony Snicket Analysis Men Women Field Handwriting

It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business. By Lemony Snicket Hemlock Looked Needed Piece Equipment

But finally, into the world came a baby girl, just as, I'm very, very sorry to say, her mother, and my sister, slipped away from the world after a long night of suffering - but also a night of joy, as the birth of a baby is always good news, no matter how much bad news the baby will hear later. By Lemony Snicket Baby World Night Finally Girl

With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer. By Lemony Snicket Answer Library Easier Hope Serendipity

It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. By Lemony Snicket Wrongly Wrong Proving Unnerving Proven

The room was a library. Not a public library, but a private library; that is, a collection of books belonging to Justice Strauss. There were shelves and shelves of them, on every wall from the floor to the ceiling, and separate shelves of them in the middle of the room. The only place were there weren't books was in one corner, where there were some large, comfortable-looking chairs and a wooden table with lamps hanging over them, perfect for reading. Although it was not as big as their parents library, it was cozy, and the Baudelaire children were thrilled. By Lemony Snicket Library Shelves Room Strauss Justice

If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn't mean that you would be a midget if you were bald. By Lemony Snicket Hard Successful Bald Work Necessarily

My silence knot is tied up in my hair; as if to keep my love out of my eyes. I cannot speak to one for whom i care. A hatpin serves as part of my disguise. In the play, my role is baticeer; a word which here means "person who trains bats." The audience may feel a prick of fear, as if sharp pins are hidden in thier hats. My co-star lives on what we call a brae. His solitude might not be just an act. A piece of mail fails to arrive one day. This poignant melodrama's based on fact.The curtain falls just as the knot unties; the silence is broken by the one who dies. By Lemony Snicket Hair Eyes Tied Love Silence

Respecting one's elders is difficult enough, but when they are soaked with water and have proved themselves to be dishonest, it is nearly impossible. By Lemony Snicket Respecting Dishonest Impossible Elders Difficult

Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. The By Lemony Snicket Die Sooner Circus Block Bus

Optimist" is a word which here refers to a person, such as Phil, who thinks hopeful and pleasant thoughts about nearly everything. For instance, if an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say, in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well, this isn't too bad. I don't have my left arm anymore, but at least nobody will ever ask me whether I am right-handed or left-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaah! My arm! My arm! By Lemony Snicket Phil Arm Person Optimist Hopeful

Gregor was involved with something called Volatile Fungus Deportation. By Lemony Snicket Deportation Volatile Fungus Gregor Involved

I said that if she won I would tell all of you something I learned about her this summer. Jackie Woodson is allergic to watermelon. Just let that sink in your minds. I said, 'You have to put that in a book.' And she said, 'You put that in a book.' And I said, 'I'm only writing a book about a black girl who's allergic to watermelon if you, Cornel West, Toni Morrison and Barack Obama say, 'This guy's OK. By Lemony Snicket Summer Book Won Learned Woodson

That a story in The Daily Punctilio was completely true, and to show this article to so many volunteers, including the Baudelaire parents, the Snicket siblings, and the woman I happened to love. By Lemony Snicket Daily Punctilio Baudelaire Snicket True

If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake. By Lemony Snicket Sister Fake Grandmother Baby Real

Just last night, I was troubled by a decision involving an eyedropper, a greedy night watchman, and a tray of individual custards, and this morning I am so tired that I can scarcely type these worfs. By Lemony Snicket Night Eyedropper Watchman Custards Worfs

The Incredibly Deadly Viper is one of the least dangerous and most friendly creatures in the animal kingdom. Sunny has nothing to worry about, and neither do you. By Lemony Snicket Incredibly Deadly Viper Kingdom Dangerous

It is always interesting to observe what people are wearing in the middle of the night, although there are more pleasant ways to make such observations without being accused of murder. By Lemony Snicket Night Murder Interesting Observe People

I don't think people have made staples by hand since the fifteenth century. By Lemony Snicket Century People Made Staples Hand

I myself fell in love with a wonderful women who was so charming and intelligent that I trusted that she would be my bride, but there was no way of knowing for sure, and all too soon circumstances changed and she ended up marrying someone else, all because of something she read in The Daily Punctilio. By Lemony Snicket Punctilio Daily Bride Fell Love

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake. By Lemony Snicket Wishing Punch Floor Cake Sipping

If you have walked into a museum recently - whether you did so to attend an art exhibition or to escape from the police - you may have noticed a type of painting known as a triptych. A triptych has three panels, with something different painted on each of the panels. For instance, my friend Professor Reed made a triptych for me, and he painted fire on one panel, a typewriter on another, and the face of a beautiful, intelligent woman on the third. The triptych is entitled What Happened to Beatrice and I cannot look upon it without weeping.I am a writer, and not a painter, but if I were to try and paint a triptych entitled The Baudelaire Orphans' Miserable Experiences at Prufrock Prep, I would paint Mr. Remora on one panel, Mrs. Brass on another, and a box of staples on the third, and the results would make me so sad that between the Beatrice triptych and the Baudelaire triptych I would scarcely stop weeping all da By Lemony Snicket Triptych Panels Panel Baudelaire Recently

When one's stomach is as fluttery as all that, it is nice to take a short break to lie down and perhaps sip a fizzy beverage, but there was no time for such things. By Lemony Snicket Beverage Things Stomach Fluttery Nice

The story of the book filled the car with exciting adventures of the sort that are fun to read about, so we didn't have to think about the exciting adventures of the sort that are no fun to live through. By Lemony Snicket Adventures Sort Exciting Fun Story

Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because children don't have what it takes to scold. You need only three things, really. You need time, to think up scolding things to say. You need effort, to put these scolding things in a good order, so that the scolding can be more and more insulting to the person being scolded. And you need chutzpah, which is a word for the sort of show-offy courage it takes to stand in front of someone and give them a good scolding, particularly if they are exhausted and sore and not in the mood to hear it. By Lemony Snicket Scolding Children Things Fun Allowed

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'. By Lemony Snicket Flunk Good Book Wayside Student

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. By Lemony Snicket Wrong Noticed Impressions

When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them. By Lemony Snicket Crying Noble Thing Comfort Tears

The children knew, as I'm sure you know, that there is usually no reason to be afraid of the dark, but even if you are not particularly afraid of something, you might not want to get near it By Lemony Snicket Afraid Knew Dark Children Reason

That's the spirit, kid," said the voice of the grown man. "Come on, Snow Scouts, let's all say the Snow Scout Alphabet Pledge together."Instantly the cave echoed with the sound of many voices speaking in perfect unison, a phrase here which means "reciting a list of very odd words at the very same time." "Snow Scouts," recited the Snow Scouts, "are accommodating, basic, calm, darling, emblematic, frisky, grinning, human, innocent, jumping, kept, limited, meek, nap-loving, official, pretty, quarantines, recent, scheduled, tidy, understandable, victorious, wholesome, xylophone, young, and zippered - every morning, every afternoon, every night, and all day long! By Lemony Snicket Snow Scouts Kid Spirit Man

You can invent things like automatic popcorn poppers. You can invent things like steam-powered window washers. But you can't invent more time. By Lemony Snicket Things Invent Poppers Automatic Popcorn

Mr. Poe, who led the way, didn't seem to notice the hedges at all, possibly because he was busy coaching the children on how to behave. 'Now, Klaus, don't ask too many questions right away. Violet, what happened to the ribbon in your hair? I thought you looked very distinguished in it. And somebody please make sure Sunny doesn't bite Dr. Montgomery. That wouldn't be a good first impression. By Lemony Snicket Poe Possibly Behave Klaus Led

It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try to readjust the way you thought of things. The Baudelaire orphans were crying not only for their Uncle Monty, but for their own parents, and this dark and curious feeling of falling that accompanies every great loss. By Lemony Snicket Dark Stairs Stair Walking Bedroom

chewing gum, particularly peppermint chewing gum, which they were allergic to, but they ran to the pots. Violet picked one up and Sunny picked up the other, while Klaus hurriedly made the beds. "Give them to me," Foreman Flacutono snapped, and grabbed the pots out of the girls' hands. "Now, workers, we've wasted enough time already. To the mills! Logs are waiting for us!" "I hate log days," one of the employees grumbled, but everyone followed Foreman Flacutono out of the dormitory and across the dirt-floored courtyard to the lumbermill, which was a dull gray building with many smokestacks sticking out of the top like a porcupine's quills. The three children looked at one another worriedly. Except for one summer day, back when their parents were still alive, when the Baudelaires had opened a lemonade stand in front of their house, the orphans had never had jobs, and they were nervous. The Baudelaires followed Foreman Flacutono into the By Lemony Snicket Gum Chewing Foreman Flacutono Pots

Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down on a bed instead of sitting at the counter of Black Cat Coffee. I quietly reassured them that this was an unusual situation, and had the machinery make me some bread as a breakfast. By Lemony Snicket Coffee Black Cat Parts Body

There was a bag of coffee beans beneath a harpoon gun and a frozen hunk of spinach, but there was no way to grind the beans into tiny pieces to make coffee. Near a picnic basket and a large bag of mushrooms was a jug of orange juice, but it had been close to one of the bullet holes in the trunk, and so had frozen completely solid in the cold. And after Sunny moved aside three chunks of cold cheese, a large can of water chestnuts, and an eggplant as big as herself, she finally found a small jar of boysenberry jam, and a loaf of bread she could use to make toast, although it was so cold it felt more like a log than a breakfast ingredient. By Lemony Snicket Coffee Beans Bag Frozen Cold

Life isn't fair, he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaire Life Fair Voice Undisguised

Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, "Life isn't fair." What is to be done with such people? By Lemony Snicket Fair Bears Live Food Humans

A fair deal, as everyone knows, is when both people give something of more or less equal value. If you were bored with laying with your chemistry set, and you gave it to your brother in exchange for his dollhouse, that would be a fair deal. If someone offered to smuggle me out of the country in her sailboat, in exchange for free tickets to an ice show, that would be a fair deal. But working for years in a lumbermill in exchange for the owner's trying to keep Count Olaf away is an enormously unfair deal, and the three youngsters knew it. By Lemony Snicket Deal Fair Exchange People Give

Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see. By Lemony Snicket Miracles Pimples Start Find Dreamed

The expression 'quiet as mice' is a puzzling one, because mice can often be very noisy, so people who are being quite as mice may in fact be squeaking and scrambling around. The expression 'quiet as mimes' is more appropriate, because mimes are people who perform theatrical routines without making a sound. Mimes are annoying and embarrassing, but they are much quieter than mice, so 'quiet as mimes' is a more proper way to describe how Violet and Sunny got up from their bunk, tiptoed across the dormitory, and walked out into the night. By Lemony Snicket Quiet Expression Mice People Noisy

Remember, sometimes something might seem like bad news, but it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. By Lemony Snicket Remember Disguise Bad Turn Blessing

If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled 'How to Build a Chair' instead of a cookbook, you pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling. By Lemony Snicket Chair Build Pie Friends Entitled

In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business. By Lemony Snicket Job Cases Honest Business Strategy

Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. By Lemony Snicket Die Fact People Reminded

Course, mountains serve as homes to mountain goats and mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children. So By Lemony Snicket Lions Children Mountain Serve Homes

But the siblings could scarcely remember when they had been able to relax and do the things they liked to do best. It seemed ages since Violet had been able to sit around and think of inventions, instead of frantically building something to get them out of trouble. Klaus could barely remember the last book he had read for his own enjoyment, instead of as research to defeat one of Olaf's schemes. And Sunny had used her teeth many, many times to escape from difficult situations, but it had been quite a while since she had bitten something recreationally. By Lemony Snicket Siblings Scarcely Relax Things Remember

For one thing, the penthouse was simply too big. Besides the seventy-one bedrooms, there were a number of living rooms, dining rooms, breakfast rooms, snack rooms, sitting rooms, standing rooms, ballrooms, bathrooms, kitchens, and an assortment of rooms that seem to have no purpose at all. By Lemony Snicket Rooms Thing Big Penthouse Simply

Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance. By Lemony Snicket Members Long Lessons Distance Family

And as the Baudelaires told Hector their long story, they began to feel as if the handyman was carrying more than their suitcases. They felt as if he was carrying each word they said, as if each unfortunate event was a burden that Hector was helping them with. The story of their lives was so miserable that I cannot say they felt happy when they were through telling it, but by the time Sunny concluded the whole long story, the Baudelaires felt as if they were carrying much less. By Lemony Snicket Hector Baudelaires Carrying Story Felt

I am certain that over the course of your own life, you have noticed that people's rooms reflect their personalities. In my room, for instance, I have gathered a collection of objects that are important to me, including a dusty accordion on which I can play a few sad songs, a large bundle of notes on the activities of the Baudelaire orphans, and a blurry photograph, taken a very long time ago, of a woman whose name is Beatrice. These are items that are very precious and dear to me. By Lemony Snicket Life Personalities Noticed People Reflect

...It is one of the strange truths of life that practically nobody likes to be stared at and that practically nobody can stop themselves from staring.... By Lemony Snicket Practically Staring Strange Truths Life

Depressed is a word that often describes somebody who is feeling sad and gloomy, but in this case it describes a secret button, hidden in a crow statue, that is feeling just fine, thank you. By Lemony Snicket Feeling Describes Depressed Gloomy Button

These brats know a lot of words,' Shirley said, in her ridiculously fake high voice. 'They're book addicts. But we can still create an accident and win the fortune! By Lemony Snicket Shirley Words Voice Brats Lot

Lion which was nailed to the wall to the bowl of apple cores which sat on a small wooden table. By Lemony Snicket Lion Table Nailed Wall Bowl

Look!" Mr. Poe said, who was still too far to help but close enough to see. "Genghis has an eye tattoo, like Count Olaf! In fact, I think he IS Count Olaf!""Of course he is!" Violet cried, holding up the unraveled turban."Merd!" Sunny shrieked, holding up a tiny piece of shoelace. She meant something like "That's what we've been trying to tell you. By Lemony Snicket Olaf Count Holding Poe Merd

It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story. By Lemony Snicket Miracle Miracles Season Seasons Friends

As I'm sure you know, whenever there is a mirror around, it is almost impossible not to take a look at yourself. Even though we all know what we look like, we all like just to look at our reflections, if only to see how we're doing. By Lemony Snicket Mirror Impossible Reflections

Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else. Ishmael outwitted me, and put me in this cage. But I know how to outwit him and all his islander friends. If you let me out. I can be king of Olaf-land, and you three can be my new henchfolk.""We don't want to be your henchfolk," Klaus said. "We just want to be safe.""Nowhere in the world is safe," Count Olaf said. By Lemony Snicket Trick Baudelaires Olaf Outwit World

Duncan kept his hand on Violet's and talked to her about terrible concerts he had attended back when the Quagmire parents were alive, and she was happy to hear his stories. Isadora began working on a poem about libraries and showed Klaus what she had written in her notebook, and Klaus was happy to offer suggestions. And Sunny snuggled down in Violet's lap and chewed on the armrest of her seat, happy to bite something that was so sturdy. By Lemony Snicket Happy Quagmire Violet Klaus Duncan

Any age was a difficult age for someone needing to get through that window. By Lemony Snicket Window Age Difficult Needing

Yes, I know," Isadora said, and then read her poem, leaning forward so Carmelita Spats would not overhear:"I would rather eat a bowl of vampire batsthan spend an hour with Carmelita Spats."The Baudelaires giggled and then covered their mouths so nobody would know they were laughing at Carmelita."That was great," Klaus said. "I like the part about the bowl of bats. By Lemony Snicket Carmelita Isadora Spats Carmelita Klaus

The central theme of Anna Karenina," he said, "is that a rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy.""That is a very long theme," the scout said. "It's a very long book," Klaus replied.[ ... ]"Or maybe a daring life of impulsive passion leads to something else," the scout said, and in some cases this mysterious person was right. A daring life of impulsive passion is an expression which refers to people who follow what is in their hearts, and like people who prefer to follow their head, or follow a mysterious man in a dark blue raincoat, people who lead a daring life of impulsive passion end up doing all sorts of things. By Lemony Snicket Life Daring Impulsive Karenina Passion

There's no way to tell what will make someone break down in tears. There are some who will cry at the merest melancholy word, and there are some who need the longest, cruelest speech to even dampen one eyelash. There are those who will cry at any sad song but no sad book, and there are those who are immune to the most saddening newspaper articles but will weep for days over a terrible meal. People cry at silence or at violence, in a graveyard or a schoolyard. By Lemony Snicket Cry Tears Make Break Sad

I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time. By Lemony Snicket Slept Time Bed Early Rise

Sometimes words are not enough. By Lemony Snicket Words

I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. Although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way. By Lemony Snicket Love Marry Children Beatrice Costar

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it had floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning. By Lemony Snicket Dangerous Things Make Terrible Trouble

For the rest of the morning they worked quietly ad steadily, realizing that their contentment here at Uncle Monty's house did not erase their parents' death, not at all, but at least it made them feel better after feeling so sad, for so long. By Lemony Snicket Uncle Monty Steadily Realizing Death

Sometimes, when you are reading a book you are enjoying very much, you begin thinking so hard about the characters and the story that you might forget all about the author, even if he is in grave danger and would very much appreciate your help. The same thing can happen if you are looking at a photograph. You might think so hard about whatever is in the photograph that you forget all about the person behind the camera. By Lemony Snicket Hard Author Forget Reading Book

What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a white sheet. You can wash it, and wash it, and still never forget what has transpired - a word which here means 'happened, and made everybody sad'. By Lemony Snicket Stain Location Sheet Place Feelings

Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black. By Lemony Snicket Flammable Miracles Happen Small Black

When i first read the book it was sooo amazing soo i decide to read the whole series but when i got up to no.2 books it got sad i was abite crying at the end but you should read the book it soo amazing By Lemony Snicket Read Book Amazing Soo Books

But we can also ask for something we are much more likely to get, and that is to find a person or two, somewhere in our travels, who will tell us that we are noble enough, whether it is true or not. We can ask for someone who will say, "You are noble enough," and remind us of our good qualities when we have forgotten them, or cast them into doubt. By Lemony Snicket Noble Travels Find Person True

Literature doesn't exactly have a strong mental-health track record. By Lemony Snicket Literature Record Strong Mentalhealth Track

Simply put, dramatic irony is when a person makes a harmless remark, and someone else who hears it knows something that makes the remark have a different, and usually unpleasant, meaning. For instance, if you were in a restaurant and said out loud, "I can't wait to eat the veal marsala I ordered," and there were people around who knew that the veal marsala was poisoned and that you would die as soon as you took a bite, your situation would be one of dramatic irony. By Lemony Snicket Makes Remark Meaning Dramatic Irony

Certain people have said that the world is like a calm pond, and that anytime a person does even the smallest thing, it is as if a stone has dropped into the pond, spreading circles of ripples further and further out, until the entire world has been changed by one tiny action. By Lemony Snicket Pond World Thing Spreading Action

The good people who are publishing this book have a concern that they have expressed to me. The concern is that readers like yourself will read my history of the Baudelaire orphans and attempt to imitate some of the things they do. So at this point in the story, in order to mollify the publishers - the word 'mollify' here means 'get them to stop tearing their hair out in worry' - please allow me to give you a piece of advice, even though I don't know anything about you. The piece of advice is as follows: If you ever need to get to Curdled Cave in a hurry, do not, under any circumstances, steal a boat and attempt to sail across Lake Lachrymose during a hurricane, because it is very dangerous and the chance of your survival are practically zero. By Lemony Snicket Concern Good People Publishing Book

I once threw myself down a flight of stairs rather than face even one moment with a milliner, at whose shop I quit working after discovering the sinister truth about her berets, only to find that the paramedic who repaired my fractured arm was a man who had fired me from a job playing accordion in his orchestra after only two and half performances of a certain opera. By Lemony Snicket Milliner Berets Opera Threw Flight

There is a lizard called the chameleon that, as you probably know, can change color instantly to blend into its surroundings. Besides being slimy and clod-blooded, Captain Sham resembled the chameleon in that he was chameleonic, a word means 'able to blend in with any situation. By Lemony Snicket Surroundings Chameleon Blend Captain Lizard

If Uncle Monty had known known what bad luck was soon to come, he wouldn't have wasted a moment thinking about Gustav. I wish - and I'm sure you wish as well - we could go back in time and warn him, but we can't, and that's that. By Lemony Snicket Gustav Uncle Monty Bad Luck

The holiday season is a time for storytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles. Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see, and this holiday story features any number of miracles, depending on your point of view. By Lemony Snicket Miracles Storytelling Week Supervision Holiday

Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying? By Lemony Snicket Olaf Count Person Sounds Awful

The word "haunted", I'm sure you know, usually applies to a house, graveyard, or supermarket that has ghosts living in it, but the word can also be used to describe people who have seen and heard such horrible things that they feel as if ghosts are inside them, haunting their brains and hearts with misery and despair. By Lemony Snicket Haunted Graveyard Word Ghosts House

It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Violet Sunny Useless Describe

Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it. By Lemony Snicket Grief Love Thing Time Type

That's true," the male officer said. "Stew Mitchum is as cute as a button."I tried to think of buttons I'd seen that liked to torture small animals, but I couldn't. By Lemony Snicket True Male Officer Stew Mitchum

To be daunted by no difficulty; to keep heart when all have lost it; to go through intrigue spotless; to forgo even ambition when the end is gained - who can say this is not greatness? By Lemony Snicket Difficulty Spotless Gained Greatness Daunted

Money is like a child - rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there. By Lemony Snicket Money Child Rarely Unaccompanied Disappears

...bravery often demands a price. By Lemony Snicket Bravery Price Demands

Listen to this, Sunny," she said, when her sister opened her eyes. "'Once a subject has been hypnotized, a simple hmmm word will make him or her perform whatever hmmm acts any hmmm wants hmmmed.'""Hmmm?" Sunny asked."Those are the words I don't know" Violet explained. By Lemony Snicket Sunny Hmmm Listen Eyes Sister

I'll tell you why I'm Shirley," Count Olaf said. "I'm Shirley because I would like to be called Shirley, and it is impolite not to do so. By Lemony Snicket Shirley Count Olaf Called Impolite

What can I do?" Klaus asked."You can pray this works," Violet said, but the Baudelaire sisters were so quick with their tasks that there was no time for even the shortest of religious ceremonies. By Lemony Snicket Violet Baudelaire Klaus Asked Works

The Baudelaire orphans hung on to one another, and wept and wept while the adults argued endlessly behind them. Finally-as, I'm sorry to say, Count Olaf forced the Quagmires into puppy costumes so he could sneak them onto the airplane without anyone noticing-the Baudelaires cried themselves out and just sat on the lawn together in weary silence. By Lemony Snicket Wept Orphans Hung Adults Argued

As she ran, Violet couldn't help but remember how she and her siblings had called Uncle Monty's name, early one morning, just before discovering the tragedy that had befallen him. "Aunt Josephine!" she called. "Aunt Josephine!" She couldn't help but remember all the times she had woken up in the middle of the night, calling out the names of her parents as she dreamed, as she so often did, of the terrible fire that had claimed their lives. "Aunt Josephine!" she said, reaching the library door. Violet was afraid that she was calling out Aunt Josephine's name when her aunt could no longer hear it. By Lemony Snicket Aunt Josephine Uncle Monty Called

You're not a receptionist!" Violet cried. "I certainly am," Shirley said. "I'm a poor receptionist who lives all by herself, and who wants very much to raise children of her own. Three children, in fact: a smartypants little girl, a hypnotized little boy, and a buck-toothed baby. By Lemony Snicket Receptionist Shirley Children Violet Cried

The next name on the list is Ed Valiantbrue, which doesn't have an O in it anyway.""O!" Sunny shrieked. "O!" Klaus agreed. "O!" Sunny insisted. "Oh!" Klaus cried. "I see what you mean! If it doesn't have am O in it, it can't be an anagram of Violet Baudelaire. By Lemony Snicket Valiantbrue Anyway List Sunny Klaus

Toodle-oo, orphans!" Shirley said. Klaus looked at Shirley and waved back as Violet and Sunny led him by the hand out of the waiting room."How could you wave to her?" Violet hissed to her brother, as they walked back down the hallway."She seems like a nice lady," Klaus said, frowning. "I know I've met her somewhere before. By Lemony Snicket Toodleoo Orphans Klaus Shirley Violet

They are stupid, aren't they?" Dr. Orwell agreed, as though they were talking about the weather instead of insulting young children. By Lemony Snicket Stupid Orwell Agreed Children Talking

Inside these letters, the eye will seeNearby are your friends, and VFD. By Lemony Snicket Vfd Inside Letters Friends Eye

-the phrase "lion's share" here means "the biggest part" and has nothing to do with lions or sharing- By Lemony Snicket Phrase Share Part Sharing Biggest

I just don't understand it," said Klaus, which was not something he said very often.Violet nodded in agreement, and then said something she didn't say very frequently either. "It's a puzzle I'm not sure we can solve.""Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity," Sunny said, which was something she had said only once before. It meant something along the lines of "I must admit I don't have the faintest idea of what is going on," and the first time the youngest Baudelaire had said it, she had just been brought home from the hospital where she was born, and was looking at her siblings as they leaned over her crib to greet her. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Agreement Understand Oftenviolet Nodded

It is often said that if you have a room with a view, you will feel peaceful and relaxed, but if the room is a caravan hurtling down a steep and twisted road, and the view is an eerie mountain range racing backward away from you, while chilly mountain winds sting your face and toss dust into your eyes, then you will not feel one bit of peace and relaxation. By Lemony Snicket Room View Feel Mountain Relaxed

Velocity!" Sunny shrieked. I know we have to hurry!" Klaus cried. By Lemony Snicket Velocity Sunny Shrieked Hurry Klaus

I'm afraid the engine is quite dead," Mr. Poe called out."And before long," Stephano muttered to the children, "you will be too.""I'm sorry," Mr. Poe said. "I couldn't hear you. By Lemony Snicket Poe Stephano Dead Out Long

In any case, this is how all our stories begin, in darkness with our eyes closed, and all our stories end the same way, too, with all of us uttering some last words - or perhaps someone else's - before slipping back into darkness as our series of unfortunate events comes to an end. By Lemony Snicket Stories Darkness End Case Begin

It is awful to contemplate this sort of life, in which one would always be forced into motion by a variety of mysterious and powerful forces, never staying anywhere for long, never finding a safe place one could call home, never able to turn the tables for very long, just as the Baudelaire orphans found it awful to contemplate their own lives [ ... ] just when it seemed they might break out of the tedious cycle of unfortunate events in which they found themselves trapped. By Lemony Snicket Long Awful Contemplate Baudelaire Life

Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee,Hope you get well soon.Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, Have a heart-shaped balloon. By Lemony Snicket Hee Fiddle Tra Balloon Dee

She turned her attention back to the book, and reread the sentence one more time, but this time she simply skipped the words she did not know. As often happens when one reads in this way, Violet's brain made a little humming noise as she encountered each word - or each part of a word - she did not know. So inside her head, the opening sentence of chapter twelve read as follows: "'Hypnosis is an hmmm yet hmmm method hmmm and should not be hmmmed by hmmms,'" and although she could not tell exactly what it meant, she could guess. "It could mean," she guessed to herself, "that hypnosis is a difficult method and should not be learned by amateurs," and the interesting thing is that she was not too far off. By Lemony Snicket Time Word Book Hmmm Hypnosis

The accident," she said finally, "happened because Klaus was hypnotized.""What your brother does for a hobby is none of my concern," Sir said. By Lemony Snicket Sir Klaus Accident Finally Happened

But that's another error in the note," Klaus said. "It doesn't say unbearable, with a U. It says inbearable, with an I.""You are being unbearable, with a U," Violet cried."And you are being stupid, with an S," Klaus snapped. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Note Unbearable Error Violet

The first sentence was "This tome will endeavor to scrutinize, in quasi-inclusive breadth, the epistemology of ophthalmologically contrived appraisals of ocular systems and the subsequent and requisite exertions imperative for expugnation of injurious states," and as Violet read it out loud to her sister, both children felt the dread that comes when you begin a very boring and difficult book. By Lemony Snicket Violet Scrutinize Breadth States Sister

Aunt Josephine had been so careful to avoid anything that she thought might harm her, but harm had still come her way. By Lemony Snicket Josephine Aunt Harm Careful Avoid

Count Olaf: You should have given up a long time ago, orphans. I triumphed the moment you lost your family.Violet: We didn't lose our family. Only our parents. By Lemony Snicket Orphans Olaf Count Ago Long

Popinsh!" Sunny shrieked. "Sunny means," Violet said, "that Dr. Orwell hypnotized Klaus and caused that terrible accident, didn't she?""Conceivably," Shirley said."And he's being hypnotized again, right now, isn't he?" Violet asked."It's within the bounds of the imagination," Shirley said. By Lemony Snicket Popinsh Shirley Sunny Conceivably Violet

You write poetry?" Klaus asked.He had read a lot about poets but had never met one."Just a little bit," Isadora said modestly. "I write poems down in this notebook. It's an interest of mine.""Sappho!" Sunny shrieked, which meant something like, "I'd be very pleased to hear a poem of yours! By Lemony Snicket Poetry Isadora Sappho Write Klaus

What are your names?""You know our names," Violet said curtly, a word which here means "tired of Count Olaf's nonsense." "That wig and that lipstick don't fool us any more than your pale-brown dress and sensible beige shoes. You're Count Olaf. By Lemony Snicket Violet Count Olaf Curtly Tired

It is unfortunate, of course, that this quiet happy moment was the last one the children would have for quite some time, but there is nothing anyone can do about it now. Just when the Baudelaires were beginning to think about lunch, they heard a car pull up in front of the house and toot its horn. To the children it signaled the arrival of Stephano. To us it should signal the beginning of more misery. By Lemony Snicket Unfortunate Time Children Quiet Happy

When you have only know someone for a few hours it is difficult to now what they would like to hear. By Lemony Snicket Hear Hours Difficult

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. By Lemony Snicket Occasion Realize Sad

Those two Quagmires will whisk and whisk until they are simply whisked away. By Lemony Snicket Quagmires Whisk Simply Whisked

The Baudelaire orphans stared at the scrap of paper, and then at Hector, and then at the scrap of paper again. Then they stared at Hector again, and then at the scrap of paper once more and then at Hector once more and then at the scrap of paper once again, and then at Hector once again and then at the scrap of paper one more time. By Lemony Snicket Hector Scrap Paper Baudelaire Stared

Life is a conundrum of esoterica. By Lemony Snicket Life Esoterica Conundrum

But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and that what you want does not matter. A series of unfortunate events can happen to anyone, no matter what they want. By Lemony Snicket Truth Sad Matter Series Unfortunate

Hello?" Violet said finally.The telephone said nothing."Hello?" Violet said again. "Hello? Hello?"The telephone did not answer. By Lemony Snicket Violet Telephone Nothing Finallythe Answer

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events) By Lemony Snicket Snicket Tea Events Bitter Wormwod

Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair. By Lemony Snicket Read Long Weeping Hair Things

You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you think are in code, or take notes on a series of events you may have observed that are suspicious, unfortunate, or very dull. Keep your commonplace book in a safe place, such as underneath your bed, or at a nearby dairy. By Lemony Snicket Unfortunate Commonplace Code Suspicious Dull

The children nodded in agreement, and rose from the table. Leaving their dirty breakfast dishes behind, which is not a good thing to do in general but perfectly acceptable in the face of an emergency. By Lemony Snicket Agreement Table Children Nodded Rose

She took Sunny's coat off, and then her own, and dropped them both on the floor. Normally, of course, one should hang up one's coat on a hook or in a closet, but itchy hives are very irritating and tend to make one abandon such matters. By Lemony Snicket Sunny Floor Coat Dropped Closet

I found myself facing a man and a woman who looked so much alike, they could only be twins, or two people who had been married for a very long time. They both had pear-shaped bodies with short, thick legs and grumpy-looking arms, and it looked like they had both tried on heads that were too small for them, and were about to ask the head clerk for a larger size. By Lemony Snicket Alike Twins Time Looked Found

There's lots of sticky things here," he said. "I see blackstrap molasses, wild clover honey, corn syrup, aged balsamic vinegar, apple butter, strawberry jam, caramel sauce, maple syrup, butterscotch topping, maraschino liqueur, virgin and extra-virgin olive oil, lemon curd, dried apricots, mango chutney, crema di noci, tamarind paste, hot mustard, marshmallows, creamed corn, peanut butter, grape preserves, salt water taffy, condensed milk, pumpkin pie filling, and glue. By Lemony Snicket Syrup Butter Marshmallows Lots Sticky

Yes,' she said, in a faraway voice, 'he was my husband, but he was much more than that. He was my best friend, my partner in grammar, and the only person I knew who could whistle with crackers in his mouth. By Lemony Snicket Voice Husband Faraway Friend Grammar

The children had been using these spatulas as oars, but rowing a boat is very hard work, particularly if one's traveling companions are too busy bragging to help out, and Violet was trying to think of a way they might move the boat faster. By Lemony Snicket Violet Oars Work Faster Boat

Never mind what my name is," the man said. "No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir. By Lemony Snicket Sir Mind Man Pronounce Call

In my opinion, children should be seen and not heard. I'm an adult, so it follows that I should be heard and not seen. That's why I work exclusively over the intercom. By Lemony Snicket Opinion Children Heard Adult Intercom

Everyone wears blindfolds at a High Court trial," the manager replied, "except the judges, of course. Haven't you heard the expression justice is blind?""Yes," Klaus said, "but I always thought it meant that justice should be fair and unprejudiced.""The verdict of the High Court was to take the expression literally," said the manager. "So everyone except the judges must cover their eyes before the trial can begin.""Scalia," Sunny said. She meant something like, "It doesn't seem like the literal interpretation makes any sense," but her siblings did not think it was wise to translate. By Lemony Snicket High Court Manager Replied Judges

For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty.Now I am pretty lonely. By Lemony Snicket Beatrice Lonely Met Prettynow Pretty

I don't know why anyone likes sledding in the first place." I said. "Life goes downhill enough without speeding the process along. By Lemony Snicket Place Sledding Life Downhill Speeding

She hadn't told Klaus about her plan, because she didn't want to give him false hope, so without waking him, she gathered up her grappling hook and tiptoed out of her room. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Plan Hope Room Told

The trouble with being patient is that eventually you get tired of it. By Lemony Snicket Trouble Patient Eventually Tired

Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing but a library of all tears in history. By Lemony Snicket Kit Klaus Violet Held Tears

But there are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them By Lemony Snicket Things Life Long

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope. By Lemony Snicket Hope Heartbroken

If this were a book written to entertain small children, you would know what would happen next. With the villain's identity and evil plans exposed, the police would arrive on the scene and place him in a jail for the rest of his life, and the plucky youngsters would go out for pizza and live happily ever after. But this book is about the Baudelaire orphans, and you and I know that these three unfortunate children living happily ever after is about as likely as Uncle Monty returning to life. By Lemony Snicket Life Written Entertain Small Happen

I was tired of working in the lumber industry," Phil said. "I was sure I could find a better job, and look at me now - cook on a dilapidated submarine. Life keeps on getting better and better." "You always were an optimist," Klaus said. By Lemony Snicket Phil Industry Tired Working Lumber

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before than, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar marks the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. By Lemony Snicket People Forgotten Happened Continuously Older

If one's safety is threatened, one often finds courage one didn't know one had, and the eldest Baudelaire found she could be brave enough to open the door. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaire Threatened Door Safety Finds

It's cold outside, Mr. Snicket.''So I'll shiver,' I said. 'I've shivered before.'She looked down at the table and traced her father's name with her black fingernail. 'So have I,' she said. By Lemony Snicket Snicket Shiver Cold Before Fingernail

The Baudelaires looked up and saw their guardian standing in the doorway of Violet's By Lemony Snicket Violet Baudelaires Looked Guardian Standing

For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand. By Lemony Snicket Moral Stories Easy Bears Snow

No, no,' Phil Said. 'It's fine. I've never liked my left leg so much, anyways. By Lemony Snicket Phil Fine Left Leg

As anyone who's ever been to a doctor knows, doctors are not necessarily your friends, any more than mail deliverers are you friends, or butchers are you friends, or refrigerator repair-people are you friends. A doctor is a man or woman whose job it is to make you feel better, that's all, and if you've ever had a shot you know that the statement 'Doctors can't hurt you' is simply absurd. By Lemony Snicket Friends Doctor Doctors Necessarily Mail

Very lovely indeed - Quigley responding to Violet's comment about the view, while actually looking at her. By Lemony Snicket Quigley Violet View Lovely Responding

I'm afraid that's the wicked way of the world. Everything's covered in smoke and mirrors. By Lemony Snicket World Afraid Wicked Mirrors Covered

As I'm sure you know, the expression 'It's all uphill from here' has nothing to do with walking up stairs - it merely means that things will get better in the future. By Lemony Snicket Expression Stairs Future Uphill Walking

If you're not scared, she told me, it's not bravery. By Lemony Snicket Scared Bravery Told

As I'm sure you know, there are two types of "What?" in the world. The first type simply means "Excuse me, I didn't hear you. Could you please repeat yourself?" The second type is a little trickier. It means something more along the lines of "Excuse me, I did hear you, but I can't believe that's really what you meant. By Lemony Snicket Excuse World Type Hear Types

We both wanted to know each other's secrets, and we both wanted the other person to go first. By Lemony Snicket Wanted Secrets Person

If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket. By Lemony Snicket Dish Range Head Blanket Slept

Busman's holiday is an expression which refers to when people do the same thing on vacation that they do in their everyday lives, such as plumbers who visit the Museum of Sinks, or villains who disguise themselves even on their days off. By Lemony Snicket Sinks Museum Busman Lives Holiday

It's bad for you if you never do anything bad for you. By Lemony Snicket Bad

There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper. By Lemony Snicket Scream Paper Easy Method Finding

Don't repeat yourself. It's not only repetitive, it's redundant, and people have heard it before. By Lemony Snicket Repeat Repetitive Redundant People Heard

There's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as the nonsense is yours. By Lemony Snicket Nonsense Wrong Occasionally Staring Window

I have seen many amazing things in my long and troubled life history. I have seen a series of corridors built entirely out of human skulls. I have seen a volcano erupt and send a wall of lava crawling towards a small village. I have seen a women I loved picked up by an enormous eagle and flown to its high mountain next. But I still cannot imagine what it was like to watch Aunt Josephine's house topple into Lake Lachrymose. By Lemony Snicket History Amazing Things Long Troubled

Ike always loved the sunshine, and I like to imagine that wherever he is now, it's as sunny as can be. Of course, nobody knows what happens to you after you die, but it's nice to think of my husband someplace very, very hot, don't you think? By Lemony Snicket Ike Sunshine Loved Imagine Sunny

It only seems scarey' Klaus said, as if reading his sister's thoughts, 'because of the mist. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Scarey Thoughts Mist Reading

The map is not the territory," Snicket's chaperon advises him. "That's an expression which means the world does not match the picture in our heads. By Lemony Snicket Snicket Territory Map Chaperon Advises

There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork. By Lemony Snicket Athletics Schoolwork Wrong

I led her into the newsroom, removed the sheet, and pointed to the statue of the Bombinating Beast. She gestured to me that I should be the one to take it. I gestured back that she was the chaperone and the leader of this caper. She gestured to me that I shouldn't argue with her. I gestured to her that I was the one who had gotten us into the house in the first place. She gestured to me that my predecessor knew that the apprentice should never argue with the chaperone or complain and that I might model my own behavior after his. I gestured to her asking what the 'S' stood for in her name, and she replied with a very rude gesture, and I grabbed the statue and tucked it into my vest. By Lemony Snicket Gestured Beast Bombinating Newsroom Removed

The dumplings had the flavor of paradise, and the broth spread through my veins like a secret that's fun to keep. By Lemony Snicket Paradise Dumplings Flavor Broth Spread

If you ask one question, it will lead you to another, and another. It's like peeling an onion. By Lemony Snicket Question Lead Onion Peeling

He was wrong in thinking that by saying 'Nnphnn!' Sunny had been complaining about getting undressed in front of her siblings. Sunny's oversized suit had muffled the word she was really saying, and it was a word that still haunts me in my dreams as I toss and turn each night, images of Beatrice and her legacy filling my weary, grieving brain no matter where in the world I travel and no matter what important evidence I discover. By Lemony Snicket Nnphnn Sunny Wrong Thinking Matter

You know, there's a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments. By Lemony Snicket Accomplishments Big World Filled Desperate

Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two ... The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life. By Lemony Snicket Sooner Story Unfortunate Event Solution

Waiting is one of life's hardships. By Lemony Snicket Waiting Hardships Life

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that it's nonsense. By Lemony Snicket Nonsense Understand

Even the best plans can change if there's an accident. By Lemony Snicket Accident Plans Change

There's a lot that doesn't make sense By Lemony Snicket Sense Lot Make

Violet stayed still as a statue. She hadn't been listening to the last speech of Count Olaf's, knowing it would be full of the usual self-congratulatory nonsense and despicable insults. By Lemony Snicket Violet Statue Olaf Stayed Count

Tadu,' Sunny murmured solemnly, which probably meant something along the lines of 'it's a loathsome situation in which we find ourselves. By Lemony Snicket Tadu Sunny Solemnly Murmured Meant

Klaus grinned. 'I'm sorry,' he said, 'but it was a very interesting book, and I'm so pleased that it's coming in handy. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Grinned Book Handy Interesting

As I'm sure you know, to be in one's own room, in one's own bed, can often make a bleak situation a little better. By Lemony Snicket Room Bed Make Bleak Situation

You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That's why the dark is always close by. By Lemony Snicket Dark Afraid Close

You're noble enough, Baudelaires. That's all we can ask for in this world. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaires Noble World

Other people think destiny is a time in one's life, such as the moment one becomes an adult, or the instant it becomes necessary to construct a hiding place out of sofa cushions. And still other people think that destiny is an invisible force, like gravity, or a fear of paper cuts, that guide everyone throughout their lives, whether they are embarking on a mysterious errand, doing a treacherous deed, or deciding that a book they have begun reading is too dreadful to finish, By Lemony Snicket People Destiny Life Adult Cushions

but Phil looked up and gave them a weak smile. "Well," he said, "this isn't too bad. My left leg is broken, but at least I'm right-legged. That's pretty fortunate." "Gee," one of the other employees murmured. "I thought he'd say something more along the lines of 'Aaaaah! My leg! My leg! By Lemony Snicket Phil Smile Leg Looked Gave

I'd never forget Sunny! Never in a million years! Not that I will live that long! Particularly because I don't exercise very much! But I don't like exercising, so it's worth it! By Lemony Snicket Sunny Forget Years Million Long

The infant was standing on a spot in someone else's story, during a moment of her own. By Lemony Snicket Story Infant Standing Spot Moment

Get scared later, and if you're scared now remember what Kit always said. If you're not scared, she told me, it's not bravery. And you want to be brave, don't you, Snicket? By Lemony Snicket Kit Scared Remember Snicket Bravery

Every problem has a solution. Sometimes it just takes a long time to find the solution even if it's right in front of your nose. By Lemony Snicket Solution Problem Nose Long Time

panic. "Vireo!" Sunny cried, which meant "Let's run - or, in my case, crawl - as fast as we can!" "We'll never run fast By Lemony Snicket Panic Vireo Crawl Run Fast

Whenever you see the words 'hee hee hee' in a book, or 'ha ha ha,' or 'har har har,' or 'heh heh heh,' or even 'ho ho ho,' those words mean somebody was laughing. In the case, however, the words 'hee hee hee' cannot really describe what Vice Principal Nero's laugh sounded like. The laugh was squeaky, and it was wheezy, and it had a rough crackly edge to it, as if Nero were eating tin cans and he laughed at the children. But most of all the laugh sounded cruel. By Lemony Snicket Hee Har Heh Words Nero

I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky. By Lemony Snicket Discovered Love Day Life Find

It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas. By Lemony Snicket Child Seas Hardest Job World

I stood in the corridor feeling like an angry pebble. It didn't matter where I rolled off to. The mystery and treachery of the world continued, and a pebble like me could get angry over anything it liked and it wouldn't do any good. Librarians not reading, I thought to myself. Sometimes I don't know why I bother. By Lemony Snicket Stood Corridor Feeling Angry Pebble

With you away, it is as if all the letters in my life are scrambled into an anagram, and I will not be able to put all the letters in order and make sense of anything until you return. I never want to be apart from you again, Beatrice, except in the restroom, at work, and when one of us is at a movie that the other does not want to see. By Lemony Snicket Letters Anagram Return Beatrice Life

But it's far too late for us; ring, hair, letters, photographsall traces of our love will be scattered then, like an anagram ... By Lemony Snicket Ring Hair Letters Photographsall Anagram

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. By Lemony Snicket Terribly Admit Miss Nearby World

But some secrets are so strange and so dangerous that showing them to people makes the strangeness and the danger pour into their lives like a dark, dark ink. By Lemony Snicket Ink Dark Secrets Strange Dangerous

The scientific principles of the convergence and refraction of light are very confusing, and quite frankly I can't make head or tail of them, even when my friend Dr. Lorenz explains them to me. By Lemony Snicket Lorenz Confusing Scientific Principles Convergence

Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why. By Lemony Snicket Knowing Life Wrong Doubt

It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway. Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will eer know why. By Lemony Snicket Wrong Standing Place Felt Thing

When you think of me," she said quietly "think of a food you love very much. By Lemony Snicket Quietly Food Love

Meeting, but first they must travel in a rattletrap submarine to the Gorgonian Grotto, a dangerous underwater cave, in search of the sugar bowl. ISBN 0-06-441014-5 - ISBN 0-06-029642-9 (lib. By Lemony Snicket Isbn Meeting Grotto Gorgonian Cave

For sapphires we are held in here. Only you can end our fear." Violet said. "Until dawn comes we cannot speak. No words can come from this sad beak. By Lemony Snicket Sapphires Held Fear Violet End

They tried picturing leaving Uncle Monty and living by themselves, trying to find jobs and take care of each other. It was a very lonely prospect. The Baudelaire children sat in sad silence awhile, and they were each thinking the same thing: They wished that their parents had never been killed in the fire, and that their lives had never been turned topsy-turvy the way they had. If only the Baudelaire parents were still alive, the youngsters wouldn't even have heard of Count Olaf, let alone have him settling into their home and undoubtedly making evil plants By Lemony Snicket Uncle Monty Baudelaire Picturing Leaving

I wasn't sad the way a spider isn't an insect. By Lemony Snicket Insect Sad Spider

It made the Baudelaire sisters a little sad to see all those books sitting in the library unread and unnoticed, like stray dogs or lost children that nobody wanted to take home. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaire Unnoticed Home Made Sisters

The Baudelaires were sad to see a framed photograph of a kind-looking man with a handful of crackers in one hand and his lips pursed as if he were whistling. It was Ike, and the Baudelaires knew that she had placed his photograph there because she was too sad to look at it. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaires Whistling Sad Photograph Framed

Are you saying that being a criminal is a matter of opinion?" I asked.Qwerty smiled, but it was sad around the edges. "No," he said. "It's a matter of handcuffs. By Lemony Snicket Opinion Matter Criminal Smiled Edges

Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down. By Lemony Snicket Dead Tales Women Sad Men

The sad truth is the truth is sad. By Lemony Snicket Truth Sad

villains need to develop a villainous laugh, so that they may simultaneously celebrate their villainous deeds and frighten whatever nonvillainous people happen to be nearby. By Lemony Snicket Villains Laugh Nearby Villainous Develop

A huge cloud of dust is not a beautiful thing to look at. Very few painters have done portraits of huge clouds of dust or included them in their landscapes or still lifes. Film directors rarely choose huge clouds of dust to play the lead roles in romantic comedies, and as far as my research has shown, a huge cloud of dust has never placed higher than twenty-fifth in a beauty pageant. Nevertheless, as the Baudelaire orphans stumbled around the cell, dropped each half of the battering ram and listening to the sound of crows flying in circles outside, they stared at the huge cloud of dust as if it were a thing of great beauty. By Lemony Snicket Huge Dust Cloud Clouds Beautiful

I'm reminded of a book my father used to read me," she said. "A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear. By Lemony Snicket Reminded Book Father Read Wear

It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake. By Lemony Snicket Frustrating Understood World Scream Thing

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. By Lemony Snicket Fears Rational Irrational Terms Kinds

One of the greatest myths in the world - & the phrase 'greatest myths' is just a fancy way of saying 'big fat lies' is that troublesome things get less & less troublesome if you do them more & more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle & skinning your knee is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it than it is the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, & that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent. By Lemony Snicket Troublesome Greatest World Phrase Big

Being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone. By Lemony Snicket Journalist Skeptical Good Thing Completely

There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curious unsolved case. By Lemony Snicket Solved Case Mysteries Hair Chaperone

Imagining the worst doesn't keep it from happening By Lemony Snicket Imagining Happening Worst

There is nothing wicked about having a dreadful singing voice, any more than there is something wicked about having dreadful posture, dreadful cousins, or a dreadful pair of pants. Many noble and pleasant people have any number of these things, and there are even one or two kind individuals who have them all. But if you have something dreadful, and you force it upon someone else, then you have done something quite wicked indeed. By Lemony Snicket Dreadful Wicked Voice Posture Cousins

I purchased some clothes for you," Theodora said ... "I was given you measurements, so hopefully they fit. If they don't, you will have to either lose or gain weight or height. By Lemony Snicket Theodora Purchased Clothes Measurements Fit

We represent the true human condition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos ... Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world. By Lemony Snicket Condition Chaos True Represent Human

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. By Lemony Snicket Born Yesterday Wrong World Baby

The outside of the building was covered with faded poster advertising what was sold, and by the eerie light of the half-moon, the Baudelaires could see that fresh limes, plastic knives, canned meat, white envelopes, mango-flavored candy, red wine, leather wallets, fashion magazines, goldfish bowls, sleeping bags, roasted figs, cardboard boxes, controversial vitamins, and many other things were available inside the store. Nowhere on the building, however, was there a poster advertising help, which is really what the Baudelaires needed. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaires Building Poster Advertising Sold

As he has promised, no harm has come to the Baudelaire orphans in the Reptile Room, but great harm had come to Uncle Monty. By Lemony Snicket Room Monty Baudelaire Reptile Uncle

As you and I listen to Uncle Monty tell the three Baudelaire orphans that no harm will ever come to them in the Reptile Room, we should be experiencing the strange feeling that accompanies the arrival of dramatic irony. This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there. For no matter how safe and happy the three children felt, no matter how comforting Uncle Monty's words were, you and I know that soon Uncle Monty will be dead and the Baudelaires will be miserable once again. By Lemony Snicket Uncle Monty Room Reptile Feeling

THE REPTILE ROOM By Lemony Snicket Room Reptile

Now, get in the damn jeep. It is, as you know, very, very rude and usually unnecessary to use profanity, but the Baudelaire orphans were too terrified to point this out to Stephano. Taking one last look at their poor Uncle Monty, the three children followed Stephano to the door of the Reptile Room to get in the damn jeep. By Lemony Snicket Jeep Stephano Damn Baudelaire Monty

Buildings - faded brick buildings enclosed by a faded brick wall. A school, perhaps, or the estate of a dull family. The buildings had once been elegant, but many of the windows were shattered By Lemony Snicket Faded Brick Wall Buildings Enclosed

If someone had told me, that day at the beach, that before long I'd find myself using my four teeth to scrape the bark off trees, I would have said they were psychoneurotically disturbed. By Lemony Snicket Beach Trees Disturbed Told Day

There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible. By Lemony Snicket Basement Plenty Water Felt Soaking

The table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise. By Lemony Snicket World Surprise Elements Table Powerful

We might even say that the world is always in medias res - a Latin phrase which means "in the midst of things" or "in the middle of a narrative" - and that it is impossible to solve any mystery, or find the root of any trouble, By Lemony Snicket Latin Res Things Narrative Mystery

A morning breeze blew through the campus of Prufrock Preparatory School, rustling the brown lawn and knocking against the stone arch with the motto printed on it."Memento Mori"-"Remember you will die." The Baudelaire orphans looked up at the motto and vowed that before they died, they would solve this dark and complicated mystery that cast a shadow over their lives. By Lemony Snicket School Memento Mori Remember Prufrock

There are people like this wherever you go. They are part of the same mystery as you are, but you can't quite tell how you fit together. The world is a puzzle, and we cannot solve it alone. By Lemony Snicket People Part Mystery Fit Puzzle

We weren't friends[ ... ]We were more like jigsaw pieces, each of us part of the same big picture. There are people like this wherever you go. They are part of the same mystery as you are, but you can't quite tell how you fit together. The world is a puzzle, and we can't solve it alone. By Lemony Snicket Friends Pieces Picture Part Jigsaw

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. By Lemony Snicket Fate Strange Unpopular Restaurant Filled

Ceviche is an acquired taste, a phrase which here means something you don't like the first few times you eat it ... By Lemony Snicket Ceviche Taste Acquired Phrase Times

The manager frowned, as if the middle Baudelaire had given him the wrong answer.That's the rooftop bathing salon," he said. "People who sunbathe aren't usually interested in library science, so they're not picky about the salon's location. Now get moving! By Lemony Snicket Baudelaire Frowned Wrong Salon Manager

Whether you have been sent to see the principle of your school for throwing wet paper towels at the ceiling to see if they stick or taken to the dentist to plead with him to hollow out one of your teeth so you can smuggle a single page of your latest book past the guards at the airport, it is never a pleasant feeling to stand outside the door of an office ... By Lemony Snicket Airport Office Principle School Throwing

Normally I don't approve of children staying up late,' he said finally, 'unless they are reading a very good book, seeing a wonderful movie, or attending a dinner party with fascinating guests. By Lemony Snicket Late Finally Book Movie Guests

After they had been reunited with their baby sister and learned the secret of Verbal Fridge Dialogue. And By Lemony Snicket Dialogue Verbal Fridge Reunited Baby

One of my prized possessions is a small wooden box with a special lock on it that is more than five hundred years old and works according to a secret code that my grandfather taught me. My grandfather learned it from his grandfather, and his grandfather learned it from his grandfather, and I would teach it to my grandchild if I thought that I would ever have a family of my own instead of living out the remainder of my days all alone in this world. By Lemony Snicket Grandfather Learned Prized Possessions Small

If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters. By Lemony Snicket Happy Book Endings Ending Interested

In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. By Lemony Snicket Happy Book Ending Middle Beginning

I am often very lonely up on this hill by myself, and when Mr. Poe wrote to me about your troubles I didn't want you to be as lonely as I was when I lost my dear Ike. By Lemony Snicket Ike Poe Lonely Hill Wrote

There are many reasons, of course, why someone might snap their fingers and grin. If you heard some pleasing music, for instance, you might snap your fingers and grin to demonstrate that the music had charms that could soothe your savage breast. If you were employed as a spy, you might snap your fingers and grin in order to deliver a message in secret snapping-and-grinning code. By Lemony Snicket Snap Fingers Grin Reasons Music

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. By Lemony Snicket Loves Sperm Lifeboat Whale Love

Count Olaf was so obsessed with getting his filthy hands on the money that he hatched a devious plan that gives me nightmares to this day. By Lemony Snicket Olaf Count Day Obsessed Filthy

If you were upset about an ugly pimple on the end of your nose, you might try to feel better by keeping your pimple in perspective. You might compare your pimple situation to that of someone who was being eaten by a bear, and when you looked in the mirror at your ugly pimple, you could say to yourself, 'Well, at least I'm not being eaten by a bear. By Lemony Snicket Pimple Ugly Nose Perspective Bear

It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs By Lemony Snicket Pointless Costs Looked Exhausting Things

The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Found Reading Sentence Long

The passageway was still as dark as a bar of extra-dark chocolate sitting in a planetarium covered in a thick, black blanket By Lemony Snicket Thick Black Blanket Passageway Dark

Taking one's chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck. By Lemony Snicket Taking Bath Warm Duck Chances

When we reached the stairs, I could hear somebody scream."should I call the police?" Prosper asked me. "No," I said "Find a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil, and sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each," and I left him gaping at me and ran up the stairs. By Lemony Snicket Stairs Scream Police Reached Hear

The Baudelaire orphans looked worriedly out the window. They weren't very happy about just being dropped off in a strange place, as if they were a pizza being delivered instead of three children all alone in the world. By Lemony Snicket Baudelaire Window Orphans Looked Worriedly

There are many, many things that are difficult in this life, but one thing that isn't difficult at all is figuring out whether someone is excited or not when they open a present. By Lemony Snicket Life Present Difficult Figuring Excited

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself. By Lemony Snicket Times Put Stay World Find

The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused. By Lemony Snicket Difference Explain Confused House Home

The world is swirling with so many mysteries and secrets that nobody will ever track down all of them. But with a book you can stay up very late, reading until all the secrets are clear to you. The questions of the world are hidden forever, but the answers in a book are hiding in plain sight. By Lemony Snicket Secrets World Swirling Mysteries Track

The French expression 'cul-de-sac' describes what the Baudelaire orphans found when they reached the end of the dark hallway, and like all French expressions, it is most easily understood when you translate each French word into English. The word 'de,' for instance is a very common French world, I would be certain that 'de' means 'of.' The word 'sac' is less common, but I can fairly certain that it means something like 'mysterious circumstances.' And the word 'cul' is such a rare French word that I am forced to guess at its translation, and my guess is that in this case it would mean 'At the end of the dark hallway, the Baudelaire children found an assortment,' so that the expression 'cul-de-sac' here means 'At the end of the dark hallway, the Baudelaire children found an assortment of mysterious circumstances. By Lemony Snicket French Word Baudelaire English Hallway

(on the Pip and Squeak asking for a taxi tip)"How about a tip?""Here's a tip," I said. "Next time you're at the library, check out a book about a champion of the world.""By that author with all the chocolate?""Yes, but this one's even better It has some very good chapters in it.""That's the kind of tip we can use," Squeak said. "Pip reads to me between fares. By Lemony Snicket Squeak Tip Pip Taxi Library

This knowledge sits in my heart, heavy as a paperweight. By Lemony Snicket Heart Heavy Paperweight Knowledge Sits

Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours. By Lemony Snicket Hot Cold Bitter Cup Chocolate

This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie. By Lemony Snicket Lie Moral Absurd Good

Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems. By Lemony Snicket Bells Loud Schools System Startle

But he was not looking at the view beneath him. He was looking beside him, where Violet Baudelaire was sitting, By Lemony Snicket View Beneath Violet Baudelaire Sitting

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them. By Lemony Snicket Neat Dusty Taking Good Library

She crawled in front of the Baudelaires' guardian and bared her teeth at Captain Sham. By Lemony Snicket Sham Baudelaires Captain Crawled Front

If you were going to give a gold medal tot he least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. Carmelita Spats was rude, she was violent, and she was filthy, and it is really a shame that I must describe her to you, because there are enough ghastly and distressing things in this story without even mentioning such an unpleasant person. By Lemony Snicket Spats Carmelita Give Earth Person

As she worked, she remembered something her parents had said to her when Klaus was born, and against when they brought Sunny home from the hospital. 'you are the eldest Baudelaire child,' they had said, kindly but firmly. 'And as the eldest, it will always be your responsibility to look after your younger siblings. Promise us that you will always watch out for them and make sure they don't get into trouble. By Lemony Snicket Klaus Sunny Worked Born Hospital

Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-""It's Herman Melville. By Lemony Snicket Melville Santa Clause Herman Shirts

The whole thing is like a jigsaw puzzle, but there are too many missing pieces to solve it. By Lemony Snicket Puzzle Thing Jigsaw Missing Pieces

Like most fourteen-year-olds, she was right-handed, so the rocks skipped farther across the murky water when Violet used her right hand then when she used her left. By Lemony Snicket Violet Righthanded Left Rocks Skipped

Sometimes you are suspicious because of something, and sometimes you are suspicious because of nothing. This incident began in the library, where I could find nothing good to read. This was suspicious. By Lemony Snicket