Discover a wealth of wisdom and insight from Bill Cosby through their most impactful and thought-provoking quotes and sayings. Expand your perspective with their inspiring words and share these beautiful Bill Cosby quote pictures with your friends and followers on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blog - all free of charge. We've compiled the top 348 Bill Cosby quotes for you to explore and share with others.

The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them. By Bill Cosby Conversation Beautiful Older People Ability

When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra. By Bill Cosby Training Bra Twelve Child Wife

A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. By Bill Cosby Children Love Truthful Truth Person

Listen to John Coltrane enough and after two bars, just two bars at any place, and you know that's him. We all have signature things that happen to be similar that you can predict and you try to stay away from that except the rhythms: those pauses, they're part of my signature, the part where I know when I say nothing, I already painted enough, led enough and I don't even have to say anything. But those pauses don't belong to me. Jack Benny was one of the first guys in comedy to make the anticipation so great that during the pause people start to laugh before the execution. By Bill Cosby Bars John Coltrane Listen Place

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook. By Bill Cosby Dentists Object Pick Teeth Sharp

The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath. By Bill Cosby Smooth Duck Top Underneath Secret

There are no absolutes in raising children. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more joys and rewards. By Bill Cosby Children Absolutes Raising Situation Fathering

I am not going to give in to people who try to exploit me because of my celebrity status. By Bill Cosby Status Give People Exploit Celebrity

Guys standing around and talking about Spanish fly: 'You know anything about Spanish fly?''No, tell me about it.'Well there's this girl Crazy Mary, you put some in her drink man, she, 'Haaaaaaaaaaaaah.'Oh yeah, that's really groovy man, Spanish fly is groovy, yeah.From then on, any time you see a girl: 'Wish I had some Spanish fly.'Go to a party see five girls standing alone: 'Boy if I had a whole jug of Spanish fly, I'd light that corner up over there. HAAAAAAH.' By Bill Cosby Spanish Fly Haaaaaaaaaaaaah Mary Boy

The summit, which is set up to educate people about managing their money and protecting their income, leads to empowerment of self, for which this summit needs to be applauded. By Bill Cosby Summit Income Leads Applauded Set

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. By Bill Cosby Picnic Asked Father Dollar School

After creating the heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was "Don't." By Bill Cosby God Eve Adam Heaven Earth

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children. By Bill Cosby Children Parents Loved Wanted Watch

The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child. By Bill Cosby Honest Child Childless Experts Raising

In September of 1960, I was blessed - and I'm not saying blessed in the everyday religious way - when Temple University accepted me after scoring 500 on the SAT. I was 23 years old, and they put me in remedial. I was the happiest remedial person on earth. By Bill Cosby Sat September Temple University Blessed

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way. By Bill Cosby Fastball Stitches Hitting Wood Professional

My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair. By Bill Cosby Love Kissing Grandpa Hugging Treated

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children. By Bill Cosby Children Wife Beautiful Woman

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. By Bill Cosby Fathers Stupidity Geniuses House Person

The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, "Get these kids out of here; I'm trying to watch TV." If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news. By Bill Cosby Disciplining Children Mother Ninety Percent

Reunited with strawberry, raspberry and blueberry, I am berry, berry happy to be back working with JELL-O. By Bill Cosby Reunited Strawberry Raspberry Blueberry Jello

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with ... That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now. By Bill Cosby Children Mother Woman Love Grew

The heart of marriage is memories. By Bill Cosby Memories Heart Marriage

I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it's their product and I'm the spokesperson, and I'm going to deliver. By Bill Cosby Commercial Funny Car Spokesperson Deliver

It's more blessed to give than to receive especially kittens. By Bill Cosby Kittens Blessed Give Receive

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl ... there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go ... ' ... if it hadn't been for his head ... By Bill Cosby Bowl Brother Toilet Head Voice

If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!' By Bill Cosby Eat Print Smeinlioaimine Read Small

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. By Bill Cosby Key Success Failure

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on. By Bill Cosby People Imagine Forgiving Forgive Bitter

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice. By Bill Cosby Advice Word Wise Stupid

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful. By Bill Cosby Beautiful Matter Black White

Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?" By Bill Cosby Stoned Paranoid Part Fun High

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first? By Bill Cosby College Dreams Graduate Follow Wake

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job ... and I don't want it! By Bill Cosby House Boss Lost Job

I watch an awful lot of television, and I get a little tired of what I see ... We have about six television sets in our house, and it's less expensive for me to do a television series than it is for me to throw them all out. By Bill Cosby Television Watch Awful Lot Tired

When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out. By Bill Cosby Gun Person Mind Clicks Thing

I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap. By Bill Cosby Child Temple Behavior Lap Physical

I didn't like what was on TV in terms of sitcoms-it had nothing to do with the color of them-I just didn't like any of them. I saw little kids, let's say 6 or 7 years old, white kids, black kids. And the way they were addressing the father or the mother, the writers had turned things around, so the little children were smarter than the parent or the caregiver. They were just not funny to me. I felt that it was manipulative and the audience was looking at something that had no responsibility to the family. By Bill Cosby Kids Terms Sitcomsit Color Themi

My dad came over to the house ... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children ... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story. By Bill Cosby House Dad Man Cents Money

In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday! By Bill Cosby Time Wasted Happy Birthday Precious

I think I am a good running back, but I'm really not that fast. There is only one thing I can do, that is throw a cross-body block. Picture perfect. I love it. Not that good at pass blocking. By Bill Cosby Back Fast Running Good Block

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words. By Bill Cosby Words Carlin Johnny Winters George

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point ... and they're still yelling. By Bill Cosby Yell Parents People Point Yelling

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see. By Bill Cosby Twitter Put Friend World Including

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers. By Bill Cosby Questions Answers Dumb Parents

Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce. By Bill Cosby Cosby Bill Tons Comedians Grew

On many young actors that don't give their parents proper credit: I'm still waiting for some actor to win, say, an Oscar ... and deliver the following acceptance speech: I would like to thank my parents, first of all, for letting me live. By Bill Cosby Oscar Credit Win Speech Live

We are all anxious to be accepted. But if you have a strong mother and father who tell you that you don't have to dress a crazy way, or hang out with people who are looking for trouble in order to be loved and accepted, then half the battle is over. By Bill Cosby Accepted Anxious Strong Mother Father

Laughter brings out the child in all of us. By Bill Cosby Laughter Brings Child

I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal. By Bill Cosby United States America Time Understand

There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess. By Bill Cosby Mess People Trouble Recognizing

Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you. By Bill Cosby Dabble Commitment Made Blood Thing

A word to the wise ain't ... By Bill Cosby Word Wise

The problems with kids having short attention spans is driven by entertainment, reset buttons on games, games having to do with getting somewhere and heads blowing up. Everything is 'cut to the chase, cut to the chase.' By Bill Cosby Games Cut Chase Entertainment Reset

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.' By Bill Cosby Past Child Discovered Examining Started

The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation. By Bill Cosby Flight Formation Time Birds Bees

Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language. By Bill Cosby English Fatherhood Language Helping Children

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals. By Bill Cosby Animals Father Pass Gas Blame

Brown versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. By Bill Cosby Board Education Brown Problem Versus

It is not a matter of who is rejecting me, as much as it is somebody may get it, and I am going to keep plowing through it because in this world of education, there is a harvest. By Bill Cosby Education Harvest Matter Rejecting Plowing

A white person listens to my act and he laughs and he thinks, 'Yeah, that's the way I see it too.' Okay. He's white. I'm Negro. And we both see things the same way. That must mean that we are alike ... So I figure I'm doing as much for good race relations as the next guy. By Bill Cosby Yeah Person Listens Act Laughs

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. By Bill Cosby Figureheads Fathers Pleasant Special Bond

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie. By Bill Cosby Suddenly Romantic Romeo Bathroom Agony

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. By Bill Cosby Tricks Dog Teach

It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I ... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar. By Bill Cosby Earns Make Difference Money Father

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga ... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are." By Bill Cosby Roy Rupert Rutabaga Love Mothers

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. By Bill Cosby Laughter Turn Painful Situations Poverty

Meadowlark and I share a common vision of bringing joy and laughter to others. By Bill Cosby Meadowlark Share Common Vision Bringing

Public education is a good foundation on which to build a better life for each of us. And if we want to prove to these children who never made the mess in the first place that education is worth the trouble, our schools have to inspire them so they can do what they ought to do. By Bill Cosby Education Public Good Foundation Build

The measure ov overexposure is not how many times people see you on TV or in the bookstores. It's whether you can maintain the quality of your entertainment. If you can, people will always be glad to see you. By Bill Cosby Bookstores Measure Overexposure Times People

I love cake. I love pie. I love potato chips. I love salt. I do not want yogurt, plain yogurt. It's healthy. 'Why don't you like it?' Because it tastes like bad breath. By Bill Cosby Love Cake Yogurt Pie Chips

The game of chess. Supposedly men made it up, and it's about war and men and the ravages and the bravery and the genius of commanding and moving pieces and ... No. It's marriage. The Queen moves anywhere she wants. By Bill Cosby Chess Game Men Queen Supposedly

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes. By Bill Cosby Music Separates Generations Clothes Time

I was 23 years old, a freshman at university, and there I was, on the first day, sitting in a remedial English class. I was so ashamed I almost got up and left, but somehow I knew inside that if I ran away from this, I would hate myself forever. By Bill Cosby English Years University Day Sitting

My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it. By Bill Cosby Mess Mother Room Sty Hours

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things. By Bill Cosby College Time Things Wonderful Teach

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. By Bill Cosby Commit Child Surely Beautifully Irrational

I wanted to give the house back to the parents. By Bill Cosby Parents Wanted Give House Back

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. By Bill Cosby Human Home Creatures Children Back

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods. By Bill Cosby Marriage Memories Reruns Gods Heart

I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door. By Bill Cosby Ferrari Vroom Door Garage Front

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse." By Bill Cosby Mistake Rinse Dentist Drills Hear

I'm supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty," I told her.Without a moment's hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: "It depends on if you're drinking or pouring. By Bill Cosby Empty Hesitation Pouring Half Supposed

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right By Bill Cosby Smoothly Dear Men Freely Words

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. By Bill Cosby Women Hear Voice Deeper

gray hair is gods graffiti By Bill Cosby Gray Graffiti Hair Gods

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out. By Bill Cosby Gold Follow Thoughts Mine Dig

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. By Bill Cosby American Defeated Father Feels Bewildered

When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students. By Bill Cosby System Students Introduce Competition Public

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery. By Bill Cosby Ticket Lottery Buy Chance Struck

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job ... Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us. By Bill Cosby Pay Loan Student Job Finally

The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing. By Bill Cosby Early Wisest Married Men Give

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it. By Bill Cosby Violence Main Goal Future Stop

Anecdote: In a controversial way, Comedian and actor Bill Cosby sought to teach his son the pain of being lied to. Convinced his son had been dishonest regarding an issue, Cosby promised that if he told him the truth, he would not hit him. When his son did confess, Cosby did hit him. Seeing his son's shock and hurt, Cosby said he hoped this lesson had deepened his understanding of the anguish generated by a sense betrayal. By Bill Cosby Comedian Cosby Bill Son Anecdote

I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there. By Bill Cosby Bible People Comedy Writing Funny

If the audience knows you can be funny when you want to be, they will be willing to wait for that payoff. By Bill Cosby Payoff Audience Funny Wait

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter. By Bill Cosby Man Live Bread Butter Peanut

When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made. By Bill Cosby Wanted College Grade Decided School

I'm one of those who cut off seeing people after a certain time, when the weight is gone and they sound like the dementia is very advanced - I don't want to see that. I don't even go in to look at the body. That's not my last memory. By Bill Cosby Time Advanced Cut People Weight

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking. By Bill Cosby Full Empty Half Glass Pouring

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. By Bill Cosby Succeed Failure Order Desire Success

You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful. By Bill Cosby Walmart Compete Successful Smaller Businesses

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven. By Bill Cosby Proven Give Complete Authority Power

People have all kinds of approaches when they come up to me. Some of them are so nervous: 'You know, Mr. Cosby, you are my biggest fan!' I am? Some of them even claim that I raised them. By Bill Cosby People Kinds Approaches Cosby Nervous

The serve was invented so that the net could play. By Bill Cosby Play Serve Invented Net

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and ... mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it. By Bill Cosby Advice Spite Thousand Books Expert

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the ... Get your ... I'll put a ... Get out of my face!" By Bill Cosby Foul Filth Censor Child Father

A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student. By Bill Cosby Student Child Disciplined Obedient Organized

My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful. By Bill Cosby Uphill School Oclock Feet Thankful

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them. By Bill Cosby Firstborn Family Dreaming Imaginary Older

The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure. By Bill Cosby Figure Important Educational Vehicle Life

When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away. By Bill Cosby Boy Girl Pregnant Shame

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. By Bill Cosby Company Father Bathroom Quickly Learns

I was put in remedial everything. By Bill Cosby Put Remedial

There are two sides to every story, and sometimes three, four, and five. By Bill Cosby Story Sides

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids. By Bill Cosby God Control Kids Comfort Thought

We spoke to God about the children, and we were afraid to ask God for specific things. We thought that it might be too much. So we said to God 'Please give us a healthy child' and left it at that, not knowing that God is a generous God, but also has a sense of humor. And if you leave that much open for God, some wonderful jokes are going to come about. By Bill Cosby God Children Things Spoke Afraid

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge. By Bill Cosby Racial Started Humor Act Crutch

Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to. By Bill Cosby Family Conflict Relate

I want to get violence - I want schools to start from K through 12 to just every day have teachers understand that they don't want to talk about anything that is violent, and they want to explain to the children how bad violence is and how behavior - violent behavior, is something that they really should not practice and think about. By Bill Cosby Behavior Violence Violent Schools Start

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off. By Bill Cosby Weatherman Timing

Because for me it is almost analgesic to talk about what the white man is doing against us. And it keeps a person frozen in their seat, it keeps you frozen in your hole you're sitting in. By Bill Cosby Analgesic Talk White Man Frozen

Comedy Central is what these young people are viewing. The network speaks to their audience, which is saying, 'Give me fast jokes. Give me party stories and party language.' By Bill Cosby Central Give Comedy Viewing Young

If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh. By Bill Cosby Television Funny Laugh Watch Kids

What we need is for people to realize - 'I want to raise my kid. I want to go back and get my three kids. I want to take on that responsibility. I want to love my children.' By Bill Cosby Realize People Raise Kid Kids

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. By Bill Cosby Partners Bridge Husband Wife Completely

If you know two languages, the level of your intelligence is multiplied a hundredfold in other people's eyes. By Bill Cosby Languages Eyes Level Intelligence Multiplied

I see Obama as Sisyphus in the first four years. And nobody would speak about the size of the rock, or the elevation of the hill. All you hear people talk about is what he didn't do. By Bill Cosby Obama Sisyphus Years Rock Hill

If you have a question about anything, the answer can be found in a book somewhere in the library. By Bill Cosby Library Question Answer Found Book

As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird. By Bill Cosby Thing Comedian People Walk Front

A father ... knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested. By Bill Cosby Depraved Boys Mall Father Minds

Let me say this: I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that, you have to go in with a neutral mind. By Bill Cosby Mind Expect Black Media Uphold

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child. By Bill Cosby Learned Game Child Baseball Manager

I managed my life to the point that at age 19 I was still in high school. I decided I was too old to be walking down those hallways. By Bill Cosby Age School Managed Life Point

People should fact check. People shouldn't have to go through that and shouldn't answer to innuendos. By Bill Cosby People Check Fact Innuendos Answer

"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick ... " And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that. By Bill Cosby Sick Tired Worst Life Beating

A father has to do everything in his power to keep a tight ship, even though he knows the crew would like to send him away in a dinghy. By Bill Cosby Ship Dinghy Father Power Tight

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage. By Bill Cosby Child Raising Bookstores Spite Thousand

According to the State of Florida, the person with the gun has the right to defend him or herself. By Bill Cosby Florida State Person Gun Defend

There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein. By Bill Cosby Balance Times Day Barry Sears

Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting. By Bill Cosby Promise House Repeat Run Touch

Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire. By Bill Cosby Richard Pryor Unique Humor Hallway

If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ... " You were never their age. You were older in the womb. By Bill Cosby Age Parent Worst Words Children

There's no tradition today except initials, 'CSI,' 'NCIS,' all the rest. Even with reruns today, people don't know there was a 'Dick Van Dyke Show,' or 'Andy Griffith,' or 'Cheers.' By Bill Cosby Csi Ncis Cheers Initials Rest

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl. By Bill Cosby Rinse Dentist Lookin Bowl Lean

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. By Bill Cosby Vatican Overlooked Day Married Couples

'I Spy' represents the absence of the tension of the black man or black woman or anyone of that color walking in, so that the white racist person can become entertaining to a viewer. By Bill Cosby Spy Black Represents Viewer Absence

The problem is that your daughter has given her heart to a 15-year-old boy, and a 15-year-old boy does not yet qualify as a human being. By Bill Cosby Boy Problem Daughter Heart Qualify

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next. By Bill Cosby Cry College Seniors Week Allowed

When I look at 55 percent of our black men dropping out of school, how bad off are we going to be when we need some lawyers? By Bill Cosby Percent School Lawyers Black Men

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't. By Bill Cosby Kids People Love Cry Person

My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn't like the fact that I'd left school. And he said, It takes a man to play football. And any fool can go up on the stage and make an ass of himself. By Bill Cosby Football School Play Father Wanted

I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive. By Bill Cosby Eat Healthy Healthiest Alive Point

My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow. By Bill Cosby Grow Eleven Year Daughter Mopes

It was the arts, those noble expressions of the human spirit that are communicated through literature, dance, song, film, drama, painting and sculpture, among the many other such creative means, that helped articulate the sufferings of [these] people that were heard around the globe. By Bill Cosby Dance Song Film Drama Arts

I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. By Bill Cosby Talk People English Knuckleheads Mouth

Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn't going to come along and cut your grass. By Bill Cosby Grass Jesus Cut People Waiting

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. By Bill Cosby God Hope Future Sense Humor

You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger. By Bill Cosby Game Father Favorite Finger Pull

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. By Bill Cosby Raising Gained Made Children Incredibly

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble. By Bill Cosby Lot Trouble Thing

The past is a ghost, the future is a dream, and all we ever have is now. By Bill Cosby Ghost Dream Past Future

You can't be everything to everyone By Bill Cosby

Romance is a different word than sexual contact. By Bill Cosby Romance Contact Word Sexual

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. By Bill Cosby Vowel Carry End Child Yell

People say children are charming because they tell the truth. That's a lie. I've got five of them. They only tell the truth if they're in pain. By Bill Cosby People Children Charming Truth Lie

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap! By Bill Cosby Skull Notice Side Face Feels

There are times my stories become - what I feel - not only accessible to hearing me on television, but they make wonderful reading. By Bill Cosby Feel Television Reading Times Stories

'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say. By Bill Cosby Senility Worry Grandfather

We've got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch. By Bill Cosby Watch Gun Hands People Supposed

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. By Bill Cosby Criticize Generation Forget Raised

Don't talk yourself into not being you. By Bill Cosby Talk

I'm old, not dead. By Bill Cosby Dead

What people are tired of, the people who agree with me, what they're tired of is listening to that sound, the sound of the people who've given up. By Bill Cosby People Tired Sound Agree Listening

These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. By Bill Cosby People Marched Hit Face Rocks

There should be marches in every neighborhood every day telling the people about the negativity of drugs and how the drugs help us to behave negatively. By Bill Cosby Drugs Negatively Marches Neighborhood Day

When you become senile, you won't know it. By Bill Cosby Senile

You come to my comedy show to be entertained. By Bill Cosby Entertained Comedy Show

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise. By Bill Cosby Rise Boat Backwards Sun Sail

In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee. By Bill Cosby Neighborhood Pulse Boy Stopped Playing

Karl Malden was a good friend of mine, and he said, 'You draw the people to you,' and I guess that's what I do. By Bill Cosby Malden Karl Mine Good Friend

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in. By Bill Cosby Defines Child Total Inability Receive

There are teachers in the United States who cry in the daytime because they see a child or children who haven't eaten properly, children who haven't used soap in so long. By Bill Cosby Children United States Properly Long

I don't care what right-wing white people are thinking. By Bill Cosby Thinking Care Rightwing White People

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree. By Bill Cosby Philadelphia Child Living Housing Projects

If you have one of the worst schools in the city, then chances are the teachers are not going to care for you. Chances are the parents don't feel seriously about coming to meet with teachers. By Bill Cosby City Chances Teachers Worst Schools

Among the guitarists, Wes Montgomery is fantastic. He's always good to let you know what the art form is all about. It's the same still life that everybody is painting, but in comes Wes Montgomery, and it's right there! By Bill Cosby Wes Montgomery Guitarists Fantastic Painting

In America ... the seven ages of man have become preschooler, Pepsi generation, baby boomer, mid-lifer, empty-nester, senior citizen, and organ donor. By Bill Cosby America Midlifer Emptynester Pepsi Preschooler

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you. By Bill Cosby Father Established Relationship Years Make

I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?" By Bill Cosby Guy Wonderful Personality Cocaine Makes

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love. By Bill Cosby Humor Commitment Ingredients Successful Union

Don't let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart. By Bill Cosby Head Heart Victories Failures

All around the United States of America - in the cities and the counties - our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts. By Bill Cosby Cuts America United States Suffering

Zip zop wop boopity bop. By Bill Cosby Zip Bop Zop Wop Boopity

I think if a 30-year-old Bill Cosby sat on stage with a 72-year-old Bill Cosby, they would enjoy each other. By Bill Cosby Bill Cosby Sat Stage Enjoy

I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing. By Bill Cosby Jesus God Problem Believing Genesis

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. By Bill Cosby Marriage Charge Set Fundamental Truths

What kept me out of trouble is going right to the edge and then ... thinking that my mother would be embarrassed, and that I didn't want to embarrass her, and that my father would be embarrassed, and I just didn't want to do that to my family. By Bill Cosby Embarrassed Trouble Edge Thinking Family

I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave the way for the Obama family. People enjoyed watching that black family. By Bill Cosby Show Huxtables Cosby Obama Family

I wasn't always black ... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger. By Bill Cosby Black Bigger Freckle

A pelican that is wet walks with a gaited limp, and the dry fish swims alone. By Bill Cosby Limp Pelican Wet Walks Gaited

A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone. By Bill Cosby Limp Pelican Wet Walks Gated

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal. By Bill Cosby Referee Parenting Kids Behavior Matter

You can not make everybody happy.. By Bill Cosby Happy Make

Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone. By Bill Cosby Secret Success Failure

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread. By Bill Cosby American Proud Bread Eat Face

My observations are not bread crumbs. They do not dissolve. They are on record, on film printed in books, and found on the Internet. I am happy to share them. For this I was born. By Bill Cosby Crumbs Observations Bread Internet Dissolve

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping. By Bill Cosby Cartilage Flapping Ears

I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences. By Bill Cosby Bring Races Joking Differences Similarities

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size Jockey shorts for his entire life. By Bill Cosby American Jockey Life Point Pride

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody. By Bill Cosby Gun Kill Carry Harm

If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it. By Bill Cosby Recognize

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job. By Bill Cosby Job Damn Hat

Betrayal, abandonment, deceit and manipulation. By Bill Cosby Betrayal Abandonment Deceit Manipulation

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what you're saying carries through. By Bill Cosby Speak Mind True Integrity Carries

Things are old. Parts are old. I'm talking about 'us' parts. AARP-parts. Some of us were born with stronger parts than others. By Bill Cosby Things Parts Aarpparts Talking Born

I don't have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone. By Bill Cosby Achievement Clue Disappointment Attempting

It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. By Bill Cosby Godspeed Warning Prices Longer

I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior. By Bill Cosby Profanity Behavior Women Multiple Things

'The Cosby Show' made an impact on comedy, television and culture. We rejected lowering the bar. By Bill Cosby Show Cosby Made Comedy Television

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic. By Bill Cosby Childhood Play Traffic Essence Friends

Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli. By Bill Cosby Michael Jackson Fatherhood Fans Broccoli

All Children Have Brain Damage! By Bill Cosby Damage Children Brain

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop ... By Bill Cosby Good Looting Food Stop Surely

Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice. By Bill Cosby Learning Naturally Read Clusters Eyes

I'm going OUT ... because I DESERVE to go out! And I'm going to get DRUNK ... because I DESERVE to get drunk! And get out of my way! By Bill Cosby Deserve Drunk

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first. By Bill Cosby Immortality Shot Admit Long

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read." By Bill Cosby Dad Fifty Tree Midlife Elephant

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much. By Bill Cosby Kids Consistently Exact Opposite Telling

There should be more on television that uplifts people and shows them how to better prepare themselves for earning a living. By Bill Cosby Living Television Uplifts People Shows

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. By Bill Cosby Fatherhood Pretending Present Love

Old is always fifteen years from now. By Bill Cosby Fifteen Years

With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers. By Bill Cosby Camille Networking Wife Social Computers

You don't know what you're going to fall in love with until you're exposed to it. By Bill Cosby Fall Love Exposed

Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in). By Bill Cosby Hold Authority Parenting Close Learn

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. By Bill Cosby Older Obituaries Makes Mistake Begin

People say "God will find a way." God can't find a way if you're in the way. By Bill Cosby God People Find

If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know. By Bill Cosby Make Listen Carefully Child Point

I think 'I Spy,' still when you look at it, speaks volumes in terms of propaganda for equality. It's just magnificent. By Bill Cosby Spy Speaks Equality Volumes Terms

It was hard for me, being in school. And nobody was there to tell me how important it was. By Bill Cosby School Hard Important

Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores. By Bill Cosby Culture Tournament Scores Youth Golf

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.' By Bill Cosby Success Story Body Parent Dead

By the 1960s, many of us believed that the Civil Rights Movement could eliminate racism in America during our lifetime. But despite significant progress, racism remains. By Bill Cosby Civil Movement America Lifetime Racism

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend. By Bill Cosby Heart Friends Friend Relationship Mate

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get. By Bill Cosby Cavities Child Dentist Check Emergency

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child. By Bill Cosby God Child Grandchild Reward Raising

There is no job a man can do that is undignified - if he does it well. By Bill Cosby Undignified Job Man

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right. By Bill Cosby Undignified Labor Person

Education happens to be something that all people, all cultures, need to embrace. Math, science, the words of the world. To be able to speak and be able to have clarity and to be able to think. Those are the greatest of gifts. By Bill Cosby Education People Cultures Embrace Math

We've got too many young girls, who don't know how to parent, turning themselves into parents. By Bill Cosby Girls Turning Parent Parents Young

We're not raising children with the love that we need to. By Bill Cosby Raising Children Love

The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they're not By Bill Cosby Internet Hitler Rid Problem

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world. By Bill Cosby Active Give World Conquer

I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do. By Bill Cosby Comedy Feel Inperson Contact People

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline. By Bill Cosby Discipline Brought Children Consistency Absolutely

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it. By Bill Cosby Prepared People Cute Educated Cut

I love Twitter, but some people use profanity so much that at some point it's like saying, 'Pass the salt.' By Bill Cosby Twitter Pass Salt Love People

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. By Bill Cosby Eye Sleeping Closed Open

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility. By Bill Cosby Lives People Children Day Fulfill

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die. By Bill Cosby Immortality Poets Reason Give Children

Most fathers and ... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it. By Bill Cosby Mothers Fathers Ghengis Khan Grandmother

People will frighten you about a graduation ... They use words you don't hear often ... By Bill Cosby People Graduation Frighten Words Hear

Telemarketers tell me I sound like Bill Cosby. By Bill Cosby Cosby Bill Telemarketers Sound

Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific. By Bill Cosby Health Food Stores Customers Dead

YOU are a genius! ... and I am a genius because I married you. By Bill Cosby Genius Married

People say to me, 'Do you know who you look like?' And I say, 'I'm really tired of looking like that guy.' By Bill Cosby People Guy Tired

Every romance does not lead to sex. By Bill Cosby Sex Romance Lead

Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is. By Bill Cosby Fatherhood Son Make

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children. By Bill Cosby Fatherhood Children Childhood Taught Lessons

Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. By Bill Cosby Angry Children Street Profanity Subway

If I didn't like poor people, why would I come and tell them how to make their lives better? By Bill Cosby People Poor Make Lives

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now. By Bill Cosby Sties Mother Authority Pig Life

We are the only animals that let our kids come back home. By Bill Cosby Home Animals Kids Back

All parents experience the same problems. By Bill Cosby Problems Parents Experience

If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up. By Bill Cosby Upif Stand Heard Speak Appreciated

I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices. By Bill Cosby Stopped Loud Profanity Street Choices

Parenting needs to come to the forefront. By Bill Cosby Parenting Forefront

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds. By Bill Cosby Painful Wounds Heal Cleanse

I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards. By Bill Cosby Cards Golf Turn Playing Exercise

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head. By Bill Cosby Head Bottom Lip Pull

The absolute truth is that there is no power in celebrity. By Bill Cosby Celebrity Absolute Truth Power

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now. By Bill Cosby Ghost Past Future Dream

Most of us learn to read by looking at each word in a sentence - one at a time. By Bill Cosby Sentence Time Learn Read Word

Every father says the same thing: "Where's your mother?" By Bill Cosby Thing Mother Father

There's a gap between people knowing what I do and really believing that I still do that - and wondering what it is I really do. By Bill Cosby Gap People Knowing Believing Wondering

How long can you tread water? By Bill Cosby Water Long Tread

I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos, By Bill Cosby Innuendos People Tired Guy Answer

Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you. By Bill Cosby Someday Parents Put Curse Kids

Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug. By Bill Cosby Beware Feet People Fall Rug

I don't spend my hours worrying how to slip a social message into my act. By Bill Cosby Act Spend Hours Worrying Slip

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. By Bill Cosby Work Sinks Chair Danger Man

In all of my career, the style is still the same, and that is of a friend, just sitting and talking. By Bill Cosby Career Friend Talking Style Sitting

Things from real life are the things that get people laughing. By Bill Cosby Laughing Things Real Life People

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. By Bill Cosby Justice Truth Parents Interested Quiet

I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid. By Bill Cosby Lid Female Lift

Nobody asked you to flip burgers for the rest of your life. By Bill Cosby Life Asked Flip Burgers Rest

But if that's what you want to be, that's what you will be - as long as you study. By Bill Cosby Study Long

Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard. By Bill Cosby Today Heard Parents Grew Silly

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. By Bill Cosby Sex Schools Homework Education Good

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name. By Bill Cosby Glad

Sometimes I buy my wife flowers. By Bill Cosby Flowers Buy Wife

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out! By Bill Cosby World Brought

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in. By Bill Cosby Peace Kids

This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people ... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people. By Bill Cosby People Happened Constitution Office Forgot

Everybody is not a victim. By Bill Cosby Victim

You are more important to yourself than you think you are. By Bill Cosby Important

I've always heard about people having a conniption, but I've never seen one. By Bill Cosby Conniption Heard People

When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that. By Bill Cosby Care White People

When my son was murdered, people asked me how I felt about God and what had happened to my son. I said, 'No, you can't go there. You have to understand that there is a devil, and he works 24/7. Whoever murdered our son was with the devil.' By Bill Cosby God Son People Devil Asked

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't. By Bill Cosby Love Authority Authorities Luck

My feeling is, personally, I want to die first ... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous. By Bill Cosby Personally Die Feeling Judgment Horrendous

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets? By Bill Cosby Beets

If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race. By Bill Cosby Drunk Negro White Man Falls

Criticizing is easy, art is difficult. By Bill Cosby Criticizing Easy Art Difficult

You don't reinvent yourself; you get better with what you do. By Bill Cosby Reinvent

We go out of our way to make people so different, ... to punish them because of color, because of sex, because of size, and the game starts. By Bill Cosby Make People Color Sex Size

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women. By Bill Cosby Thomas Jefferson Wrote Equal Women

Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time! By Bill Cosby Time People Younger Full Moon

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them. By Bill Cosby Christian Misunderstood Muslims Intentionally

If I use the word romance, whether it's my wife or not, it does not mean sex. We can use the word sex when sex is there. By Bill Cosby Romance Sex Word Wife

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine. By Bill Cosby Life Magazine Worst Thing Die

I think you need to make responsibility something that's not just a word. By Bill Cosby Word Make Responsibility

I've said all along I've never competed with 'The Simpsons.' Not in my own mind. By Bill Cosby Simpsons Competed Mind

George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work. By Bill Cosby Booth George Funny Afar Meeting

My wife and I have five children. And the reason why we have five children is because we do notwantsix. By Bill Cosby Children Wife Notwantsix Reason

I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can't do, and that is, bring your audience along. By Bill Cosby Stories Bring Things Joke Tellers

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet. By Bill Cosby Interested Parents Justice Quiet Peace

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you. By Bill Cosby People Backfires Advantage

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. By Bill Cosby Vague Law Advertising Avoid Concrete

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. By Bill Cosby Children Joys Rewards Father

only stupid one's By Bill Cosby Stupid

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand. By Bill Cosby Calculus Parents Dropping Understand

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any. By Bill Cosby Children People Proper Raise

Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker. By Bill Cosby Social Quicker Networking Reach People

If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it By Bill Cosby Find Humour Survive

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did. By Bill Cosby Children Today Sex Father

Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago! By Bill Cosby Kids Feed Ago Ate Twelve

Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally. By Bill Cosby Intellectuals Naturally People Study Things

I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids. By Bill Cosby Kids Wear Condom Plan

I use the exercise room early, because I don't want to get on the treadmill and everyone's going 'Oh, Bill Cosby,' and then they come around to see how fast I'm walking, and it becomes very competitive. By Bill Cosby Bill Cosby Early Walking Competitive

Violence won't solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though. By Bill Cosby Violence Thing Solve Makes Challenging

God has not made anything that I know of that pays so much attention to who their father and mother is as us. By Bill Cosby God Made Pays Attention Father

Have you ever had a cookie? Then you won't get any here either. By Bill Cosby Cookie

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy. By Bill Cosby Men Infancy Women Belong Species

Grandparents are God's gifts to children. By Bill Cosby God Grandparents Children Gifts

If you have no faith, you've lost your battle. By Bill Cosby Faith Battle Lost

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. By Bill Cosby Decide Afraid

You can't prove somebody is a racist unless they really come out and do the act and is found to be that. By Bill Cosby Prove Racist Act Found